A/N: I don't write a lot of poems, but this one I really enjoyed writing because my siblings and I really did most of this stuff.

Thank You Mom

Dearest Mother

You gave me life and your sense of humor.

I gave you dirty diapers and sleepless nights.

You taught me the wonders of the toilet and how to use the microwave.

I flushed your grandmother's wedding rings and tried to cook the cat.

You showed me how to out smart the boogie man and right from wrong.

I told my preschool teacher you held me down to take naps.

You gave me a brother and sister

I blamed them for everything I did. (That's right it wasn't my baby sister who wrote my name on the wall)

You followed my bus to school and laughed at my stories.

I used my yellow Crayola marker to stab Michael Scholl's arm repeatedly.

You gave me my first koodie shot and told me boys weren't as bad as they seemed.

I dropped worms down the pants of Alex Thompson when he told me girls were wimps.

You bought me all the coolest clothes and CDs.

I slammed my door and told you I hated you.

You gave me The Talk and told me my braces would rip the lips off anyone I kissed.

I told you, you were crazy and ignored everything you said.

You waited until Z, my first boy friend (you remember the one with the piercing and tattoos),got to the front door before chasing him to his car with the kitchen knives.

I snuck out my bedroom window and went with him anyway.

You cried at my graduation and paid for my college.

I spent my weekends at keggers and told my instructors to screw off.

So Mom, I want you to know I'm sorry for flushing the rings, teaching my siblings all my tricks, and all the other head aches I gave you. I never really meant I hated you. I'll always love you. Even when you smother me. As for Z I saw him last weekend. He just got out of rehab for the fifth time. I also want to thank you for putting up with me when I put you down, for being there when I wanted you gone and for never getting off my case. Just remember no matter how much I put you through I'll never be able to pay you back for all of it, but in a few years I'll settle down and have a few kids who you can teach all my tricks to. Only you'll teach them how not to get caught

Love you Mama,

Your Baby Girl