I find myself in memories I wish I could recall—

Even those feelings, distant now, from home to old seawall.

At first the butt and then the waist and then the smiling face,

The silly laugh, the laid-back speech—all things I can’t erase.

But now with so much time between these quaint words and that kiss

(You know the one atop my bed with feelings that you miss),

I’m older now and wisdom’s come where used to be naïve.

This time I can appreciate those nights beneath the sheets

Much more when dreams were freshly made so close to my despair

And when I cried between your arms, my love too hard to bear.

I thought I wasted all my time writing those words for you.

Who knew my simple scapegoat poems would shine so brightly blue?

Who knew who knew who knew we’d make it true, my only want?

It’s you who knew the truth within the sorrow I made blunt.

So come with me, only in thought, back to that ideal place

On island where sunrises came and shined on knowing face;

Our wordless talks meant more to me than seen by glance of eye,

Only because there was much more between your mind and mine.

The pleasantries from knowing you’d be there when I awoke

Turned life from be’ng a ted’ious chore to so wondrous I choke.

These prissy words, these adjectives made by my scratch of pen

Do not come close to what I feel when read by other men,

But to my darling girl of yore, the sun that holds me dear,

I say that with my thoughts of you I do not guess and fear.

I drink my life to lees just as you showed me ev’ry day

And ev’ry night and afternoon despite the clouds of gray.

I learned so much in idle days while doing nothing good,

And waiting for your visiting, doing what not I should.

You prob’ly know by now I need the touch of softened hands,

So when my loves take hold of me they must fill past demands.

I wish we’d kiss. I wish we’d make what we’ve made times before

Just so I can relive what changed from once to nevermore.

The sun rises and falls the same as time flew way back then,

Yet, it’s hard to find moments that hold in comparison.

I have to set my writer’s tool back where it stands to rest

Before I make a mockery of thoughts from deepened breath.

I live quite fine without your name or face in daily life,

But now I’m focused on your breath it’s so easy to write.

Goodbye! I’ve said ten times before but make this understood

We’ll never share our lips again: this time it’s for good.

It’s two A.M., the night before I see your simple smile—

Whatever comes I’ll be made glad: it’s been too long a while.