i know i'm hard to love

beauty.

it's all you look for.

i know.

and it's one of the many things i'm
missing to make you love me the way
i.love.you.

and believe me - i've tried
to live with a hand down my
throat, but it gets so hard
because i lose enough breath
when i'm around you.

i'm so sick of feeling ugly.
seeing my sickening skin
on the other side of the mirror.

i know it can be hard to accept
(someone like) me.
but i promise you -
i am so much more than the freak
you see hiding a girl who
could (just possibly)
be beautiful.

and i just love you that much
i.just.want.you
(towantmeback)

i need you to live
because your embrace is
the only that keeps me warm
& your words are the only
that give me hope.

i want to let you know of everything
that makes me go back to the blade
that has slowly turned me into the girl you hate
(that has replace the girl i use to love)

& dear god, i loved you so.fucking.much.
that day for asking me for the reasons without
running away & letting me know that
you cared

but i'm afraid you won't understand
& i just can't loose you again.

do you think that you
could (ever) look past
it all & just take my
hand & run under the
night sky with rain
hitting us like soft
(delicate) bullets

(together we'll float like angels)

and i just need you to come back to me
& tell me that you care again.
((because i know you'll never love me))

do you remember the star carved on my
skin just for you?
it's still there & i want you to know that
piece of my will
always.be.yours.

i've lost count of all the times
i've cried for you...but my heart
will not let you go.

i know i'm hard to love...
but could you try?

November 12, 2006

Author's Note: i've been on serious writer's block. i can't seem to write anything decent lately & it's killing me b/c there has been so much going on lately...oh & the line that says ‘together we’ll float like angels’ is part of a lyric by a band called Chiodos…so yeah I’m not trying to steal their work (which btw is fucking amazing.) please review & tell me what you think.