Chapter Sixteen

Chase didn’t return my gaze, “You never mentioned marriage, Blanche…Was this part of your initial business proposition?

Uh-oh. Now keep your cool, Snow. He’s only, “More or less.”

That sent Mosley and Robby into a fit of giggles but I did my best to maintain my poise. The seating hostess beckoned us to follow her to a booth in the corner, far away from the coffee bar but a nice distance from the buffet. When we came to our table, Mosley and Robby took one side, leaving me with darling, now dead-quiet, Chase. Before this moment I never would have thought them capable of such sheer evil but this clearly just isn’t my day.

The waitress appeared, handed out menus, and asked for our drink orders. In retrospect, I do believe that’s the earliest I’ve ever ordered vodka, even on a holiday.

That’s all it is, right? A holiday? Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to mix business and pleasure…

“So how did you come up with this, Snow?” Mosley asked after the tray of coffees and hard liquor was brought to the table, “Who could have inspired such random acts of rash genius?”

And the words were out of my mouth like horses at a derby, “Walt Disney.”

Woah. Even Dawn would say that was a dumb answer. Maybe a true one but particularly dumb.

Robby tapped the side of his nose knowledgeably, “Trouble in paradise?”

I wish, “Not exactly.”

Not exactly, my foot! How could they be so dense? Don’t they understand that I just needed a way to get away from it all?

“There you go again,” Chase grumbled as he stirred his Bloody Mary.

Hmm…I never pegged him as a mixed drink man. That didn’t stop me from seizing the celery stick from his hands and taking a bite. Shit. When did Bloody Marys get to be so damn hot? My eyes watered but I had to play it cool and keep on chewing the stirrer. If the three stooges weren’t looking at me like a Martian they were now.

When I felt I had proven myself “man” enough for the gathering, I took the remaining stalk out of my mouth and seat it on the side of my appetizer plate. It was only then that I saw little red and black specks and realized that the burn was pepper—particularly fiery pepper. Instead of swearing as I would have like to have done, I turned to Robby and asked him how Doc Arnolds was doing.

“Just fine, you know, he asks about you every time he calls.” Robby smiled, “Speaking of calls, you’ll never guess who rang me last night!”

I shrugged and took a sip of my vodka, wishing I had thought to ask for some orange juice.

“Does the name, Margo bring anything to mind?”

“Misery, despair and alcohol poisoning.”

One sip of vodka and I’m already talking out of my head. Maybe there’s a reason I leave the liquor in the cabinet.

Mosley and Chase blinked and Robby laughed forcibly. For a moment we sat in silence before my agent bowed under pressure, “Aren’t you going to ask what she wanted?”

As I leafed through the menu in front of me before glancing down at Robby, “I’d be wasting my breath.”

“She was worried about you! Would it be so much of a bother to call her?”

Scoffing, I closed my menu and waited for the waitress to show her rat-face. I wanted to go on and eat already—was that too much to ask in a restaurant?

Chase slipped his hand from the tabletop and onto my knee. Without turning my head to look at him, I slid my hand under the table and pinched his knee. Nobody likes horse nips and Chase wasn’t any exception. Although I will give him credit for taking it like a big boy and keeping his mouth shut.

If only Mosley could have done the same…

“Look Robby, they’re holding hands under the table! Isn’t that just precious? Why didn’t y’all tell us you were an item?” he gushed as Robby fanned him with a manicured hand.

There was a burning question on my mind that should never have passed my lips, “How did you know?”

It was Mosley’s turn to avoid our eyes, “Um…I...uh…I dropped my napkin.”

Realization flashed in Chase’s eyes. He jerked his hand off of my leg and hissed, “That was you?”

It was too much—I couldn’t help it!—the laughter couldn’t be muffled or transmogrified into a cough. I slapped the table and clutched my stomach with mirth. Across from me, Robby held his head in his hands and asked his boyfriend, “Why?”

The answer wasn’t lost on my ears.

“I just wanted to be sure.”

Now what was that all about?

“Are you ready to order?”

Wait…don’t tell me! It’s that skinny, rat-faced waitress with the ugly polyester top cut way too low on her virtually non-existent chest! I tell you, she has some sense of timing!

“BLANCHE!”

Everyone in the restaurant craned to see the short, stout blonde standing in the doorway with a bullwhip in her bleeding hands. The Lazy Daisy we had come to know and love had fallen off the face of the earth and in her place was Dawn of the Jealous Floozies.

As I stare death in the face, one question remains: what did Char see in her?