And all the time that there’s this pesky little beetle bug eating me alive from the /inside out/ I just want to shout out to the thin night air that I’m alright, I’m just fine, I’m GOING CRAZY and there’s no one left to pretend to care.

Deserted and desolate, I am the EMO FUCKING QUEEN with my grunge hair and my shortshort blackblack nails scraping my skin just so I can fucking FEEL again. Heartshards stabbing my lungs and making it difficult to breathe, there are impossible shades of purple beneath my eyes, blinding me as the razor slips below my skin into the center of my hurt and begins to cut it all away. I am ok, darlings, I swear it, I’m just s.h.a.t.t.e.r.e.d. all over again, broken like a bad dream on awakening and I’m so numb, I’m so numb on the outside that I need (I need I need I WANT) to have blades against my flesh just to remind myself it’s there. Emotions eating me up, burning me alive (cinders inside) as I cry, ensnared and unable to escape, do I live or am I trapped in Catholic Purgatory?

All my night-time nightmares have come to be, and they’re so mean with their hurtful words and distrustful glances, friends are now enemies and I truly have NO ONE LEFT ALIVE TO CARE (alisonohalisonwherehaveyougoneto?) dead they’re all dead(!) to me, at least, and it’s better this way, they can’t hurt me anymore, right? I’m ok, right? I’ll be fine, right?

-Don’t answer me don’t answer me don’t answer me I’m not ready to CRY.