Epitaphs

Old House

There goes our home, all five feet square.
There was not much room to share.
Roof with holes, an old shotgun,
Used by someone who was dumb.

Funeral For A Goldfish

Buford B. was so smart,
At least for a fish.
One might think him a work of art,
Not really.
His body now is what we cart
Away to his grave
He entertained us for his part,
I still think that fish aren't that great.

Junk Yard Van

The Old Gray Ghost had its run,
Bouncing up and down... What fun!
The old Dodge van gave it up
It drank the last of its old cup.

Wasted Weekend

Please oh please, where'd you go?
Oh my weekend, I miss you so!
Can't the Mondays leave me be?
Oh, blessed weekend, come back to me!

Lost Watch

Flush 'er down!
I lost the watch.
I flushed it underneath the ground.

The First Dead Cat

Get the gun, that cat is dead!
We'll bury the thing in the shed.
I'll chase it around,
And when it's found,
The bloody cat'll loose its head.

Stolen Pie

Oh, hell. Where's my pie!
Someone ate it on the fly.
I have a guess who it might be.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Toys

Oh my precious Lego ship
It went in to take a dip.
Got pulled down, while under strain,
And then it went right down the drain.

The Second Dead Cat

After all, and in the end
Mattie was still not a Godsend.
The stupid cat got in a funk,
Than got ran over by a drunk.

School Days

Ah, the days of High School torture
Where morons abound, for sure.
I left High School long ago
And never would I go back.

The Dead Dog

Here lies Peanut, a hound.
In a home far away we found
That he liked nuts (and also paper)
Which was why he was sent to the pound.

The Half Eaten Sandwich

Pickles.
Mustard.
Catchup.
Cheese.
Meat.
Salad.

The perfect sandwich, but now it's all gone...