Well, this is an odd idea that came to me in the shower last night and I am well over due for a Christmas special. So enjoy!

On with the Show!

A Hunter’s Christmas

Chapter 1: Oh Holey Night

“T’was two nights before Christmas and all through the house

A creature was stirring, but it definitely wasn’t a mouse…”

It was quiet, too quiet. I know that’s cliché, but it was true. I continued to make my egg salad sandwich, though, not showing I knew something was wrong. That was the first thing Dale had taught us four months ago when we had agreed to be hunters. That and how to recognize what was a threat and what wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to go there. Right now all I had to think about was what wasn’t right. There was no TV going, the radio had been left off, the fridge was quietly humming and the house was making all the usual noises. There was just one thing wrong. There was no soft snoring or panting….

“Buster, you even think about picking that garbage and I will drag you outside and leave you there.”

The Bull Mastiff – whose proper name was Blade – whined irritably as I glanced over at the open lid on the garbage can. There was something in there tempting his canine nose and I really couldn’t imagine what it could be. Kane would have to take that out when he and Dale got back from the ‘boys only’ training they were doing.

Yes, it’s true. They’d actually left me all alone so they could go and hunt something small. Dale said it would help Kane get a feel for being the leader in our little duo. That always made me huff in skepticism. I did the cooking, the cleaning, the research, the caring and Kane did nothing I didn’t tell him to. Kane would be lost without me. Leader my ass…

“Blade!” I yelled and the dog barked back at me

He was definitely Dale’s dog. I sighed and looked back at where he was spying the bag and figured this was going to be a very long day. And I obviously was going to have a hell of a mess on my hands if I waited that long for someone to take the trash out. I glanced down at my half made sandwich and sighed. Well, it looked like there was no rest for the wicked. I put the fixings on a plate and put it in the fridge before opening the back door and shooing Buster out. A minute later I had the bags tied up and ready to be loaded into the bed of the truck. So I shoved my feet into my boots and threw on a heavy coat before grabbing the keys to my truck and venturing into the frozen north. Well, Colorado wasn’t so far north and it wasn’t that cold, but compared to Woodhaven it was freezing right now.

Buster barked and wanted to play as I made my way out of the house and to the truck with the garbage in tow. It was the same story every time that dog was outside instead of in the house. Out here it was like he was an overgrown jackrabbit with a major carrot jones or something from the way he ran around like a bunny on crack…Don’t ask – I haven’t had anyone to talk to in nearly a week. To be able to explain the dog was something of an accomplishment at this point. I was about ready to turn him into Mastiff stew earlier for eating a plate and everything on it, and now it was nice to think that he was just a dog and not an evil imp bent on driving me nuts. Though I had studied up on imps who could pull these tricks I doubted one would ever choose to look like Blade. I shook my head at the icicle drool dangling from his jowls and tossed the garbage bag into the back of the truck. That’s when the puppy dog eyes started and I rolled my eyes. That dog ws going to drive me nuts.

“Come on, then,” I hollered at him and slid across the seat so I could push the door open for him

The dog rocked the truck with his flying leap into the cab and he settled down almost in my lap. I groaned and shoved him over before pulling the doors closed. I was already regretting letting him ride shotgun when his dangling drool started to melt.

I shook my head and kept my eyes forward as we left The Shack, as Dale affectionately called our home, and went on down the road. There was a burning barrel where we burned a lot of things we shouldn’t have, but it beat trying to get the dump trucks to come out or finding a dump to drop off our garbage at every week or so. I had the feeling Blade would be fatter then ever if we left bags of garbage just sitting around until we got brave enough to take it. The whole mountain would reek after a while and Dale would be plenty pissed. So the burning shit we shouldn’t burn was turning out to be a good system.

Blade bounded out after me as I got out and threw the newest pile in the pit with the rest that needed to be burned when Kane got home. Yeah, everything garbage related was Kane’s official duty. I smirked at that, missing my brother. I looked at the dumb mutt and sighed. Yeah, I was long over due for some human companionship.

That was the thought that had me heading the rest of the way down the road and out onto the highway and into “Bumfuck” Colorado, as Kane called it. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, but you know my uncle Dale. He’s a littler paranoid when it comes to the location of this place and the lower the profile we keep, the happier he was. It didn’t bother me so much, but when my friends or even my brothers asked where I was it was hard to just say Colorado or worse – name a completely random town and hope they dropped it. I often thought that there were other ways to track us, but apparently demons weren’t that smart. So we stayed on our mountain, lied to our family and sometimes came down for supplies and the odd drink in…the little town Kane has renamed. I liked it. It was a small place with a lot of character. Dale was smitten with the place and had had his base up on the mountain for years because of it. He was on the outside looking in, you could say. He could never be a full part of it, but he was going to stay close to it anyways. It was his slice of normalcy. Kane didn’t get it. He was getting sick of being up on that mountain and away from ‘real civilization’. I should know, he complained to me enough about it. As for me, I could deal with this for a while. If I had to stay here for the rest of my life I would be sick of it just because of the prospect. Dale promised a year on the mountain. I could deal with that. Kane…well, he was pretty much screwed.

I shook my head at that thought and shoved open the front door of the small bar in town – Jake’s. I had only met Jake himself once. His wife ran the place because he worked on the rigs for ten months of the year. But when he was around he was the liveliest guy you’d want to meet. His wife, Anne, was an alright lady, but she lit up when Jake was in town. Maybe that was why she liked running the bar so much. Most drunks were pretty jovial and the not so jovial ones were expelled by Devon, Anne’s nephew. He was huge. I guess that made him a pretty good bouncer, but not smart enough to figure out how to mix drinks. So when I walked into the bar I didn’t give him a second look and instead headed over to where Anne was wiping up the bar.

“Hey there, honey,” she greeted with a smile “What brings you in from the wild this close to the holidays? And without the boys?”

“The boys ditched me,” I told her “There’s some big deal about elk for Christmas.”

It was really a matter of a local boogey man kidnapping children in South Dakota, but that was most likely to get me cut off before my first drink.

Blade barked by my leg and Anne smiled.

“Well, not all the boys abandoned you,” she pointed out, grabbing a dog biscuit from the other side of the bar and tossing it to Blade

Did I mention Anne also loved Blade to death for some reason? We had to bring the mutt any time any of us went to the bar. I watched a string of drool hit the floor and didn’t see the attraction.

“You here for a pint, little bit?” she asked and I shook my head

“Nah. Could go for some of your home cooking,” I told her and she nodded

“’Got a pot of stew on the stove in the back and some eggnog in the fridge.”

“Sounds great, Anne.” I smiled at her and she went into the room behind the bar

Blade whined at me and I sent him a tired look.

“What are you complaining about? Your bowl will probably be better than mine.”

Blade whined again and I scratched behind his ear for a minute until Anne came back out and set us up at a table near the fire – if you can believe she was brave enough to have one in a bar – but then again, it was winter in Colorado. And as predicted the bowl of stew set down in front of Blade was much bigger than mine. I didn’t mind. The place was starting to become lively and I wanted to be able to make a discreet exit. What could I say? Months on a mountain being trained to spot the supernatural officially made me a bit of a recluse when it came to these things. Too many strange people and I was ready to head for the hills as fast as my legs could take me. As it was, I was prone to leaving before that happened just so I could leave with some dignity. How sad my life was becoming.

It was only when the real weirdo of the night showed up that I bothered to go up to the bar and pay my dues. The stranger was sitting at the end and looked me over with interest. It was the look I often got before getting hit on. Oh, let him try. It was a cruel thought; Kane would rip him a new one before finally killing him. Thus the reason I had only ever had one boy friend and Kane had never once gotten along with Danny unless I gave him the ‘be nice’ talk prior to it. Needless to say, Danny went to Grad with a split lip and a black eye because I was going alone.

But I was talking about this stranger. He was probably just taller than I was and had very intense eyes. He was also wearing a toque inside the bar and it was much too hot for that. He’d find that out in a couple minutes. He wasn’t ashamed for looking, though, and met my eyes when I glanced at him. I had never seen silver eyes before and wondered if he was some form of demon.

“Come on, Slater,” I chided myself in a whisper “A guy gives you a look and he’s automatically a demon? That’s some defensive maneuver you have.”

I shook my head and whistled for Blade, who was trying to gross out a couple guys eating wings in hopes he’d get some. I had to hand it to him – I would have given in by now. I started counting and Blade whined before coming to where I was. Yeah, definitely not my dog.

We exited the bar and I felt the eyes of this stranger on me the whole way to the door. I felt better to step into the parking lot. I decided I’d had enough of people to last me for a while. I figured I’d need it. The boys weren’t due back until after Christmas. I sent a glare at the dog and opened the door to the truck so he could climb in. I still felt watched, though, and spared a glance at the bar. The stranger was standing in the door way, still watching. It was creepy and I suddenly wanted to be back home. So I climbed into the truck, shoved Blade over and started the truck for home.

It wasn’t until I got to the turn off that I actually felt safe. I had this irrational feeling I’d been watched the whole way home and it was driving me nuts. I had finally resorted to blasting Van Halen and getting dirty looks from the dog, but it was still there – an undercurrent to the music. But the moment we hit Slater land I felt it leave me. I knew the whole place was blessed by a Cheyenne medicine man, but maybe it was just that it was home – a safe haven in the world. Or I was officially loosing it. I shrugged and parked the truck. Either was an acceptable answer at this point. Blade bounded out of the truck, nearly knocking me over in his haste to do so and I thought he resembled a bunny on crack more and more by the minute. With a shake of my head I let him run around and headed into the house.

The whole place was cold because the fire had burned out. Great. Sighing, I turned right back out the door again and made my way to the wood barrel. Blade was barking and carrying on and I wondered if I could some time train him to pull the wood on a sled or something. I sighed. Now I was starting to sound like Kane. It was only like 4 feet to the door and I was not going to be lazy. So I carted in a bunch of new wood and set it down by the cold hearth. Blade jogged behind me and pulled himself up onto the couch while I set about making a fire from scratch. Now, I was horrible at this. The fire Dale made before he left just kept getting added to so I wouldn’t have to start one. It was a good thing Kane and I had a pouch of gunpowder hanging around. I got a spark to catch on the kindling finally and poured a bit on to get it to catch the wood. It flared up and Blade barked at me. I glared at him over my shoulder.

“Next time, you light the fire.”

He whined back at me and I rubbed my arms under the heavy jacket a bit. It was going to take forever for it to warm up in here without the space heaters going. So, with a curse at the old rustic place without central heating I got the apace heaters going and finally was able to toss my jacket off fifteen minutes later. The place was at least livable now. Still feeling the cold, I pulled the wool blanket off the back of the couch and cuddled up beside Blade. Damn the mutt for being impervious to the cold. He was always throwing off heat like a hot water bottle. I nestled my feet under him and watched the fire for a bit, wondering what to do with myself.

The pile of sewing glared at me from where I had discarded it earlier and I finally gave in. Picking up the sock I had left off on, I sighed and smirked a little when an amusing thought came to mind.

“Oh holey night,” I quipped and received a yawn from Blade “Well, you don’t have a sense of humor.”

And that was how the night passed. The dog, I and the holey socks sat in peace and quiet and nothing exciting or out of the ordinary happened.

Yeah, right. I wish.

Not ten minutes after I was done with that first sock someone knocked on the door urgently and I jumped. Blade bounded off the house, barking like the gruff guard dog he was too lazy to be. I, well, I grabbed the iron fire poker. Don’t get me wrong, it could be someone who was stranded in the snow or something but I’d been taught to be mistrustful of common occurrences. The boys were gone and they wouldn’t have knocked. Anyone who knew the place would have yelled for me. This was obviously a stranger.

I crept to the door and opened it slowly to reveal the one person I had not expected. Then I swung.

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Well, second chapter is on the way! Not too soon, but I have to go shopping and cook dinner and clean the living room and my bed room and…remind me why I came home for the holidays again? Ah well.

Any comments at all are welcome and Merry Christmas to all!

See ya in the funny papers!!!

Sonah