The Best Friend, a Biography fanfic

Note: This is intentionally vague. If you want it to be a guy and a girl, so be it. If you picture it as two girls, then there you go. The other person's gender is not specified simply because that's the way it came out of my head and that's the way I liked it. So don't try to get offended on me. This is one of my better stories, in my opinion, so any tips for improvement would be greatly appreciated.

It's summer again. We are lying out under the stars, just like we always do. Your head's on my stomach, I'm playing with your hair and singing quietly, and my brain is tearing me apart for all the things running through my train of thought. Mainly thoughts involving you. Okay, all thoughts involving you. Thoughts that should definitely not be happening. But it's not as if you hadn't exactly encouraged them, I thought, reflecting on the hellish events of the previous summer.

"I love you." You were crying, I could feel it over the phone. And also obviously very, very drunk.
"I love you, too..."
"No, you don't get it. I LOVE you. I have fallen in love with my best friend. Look, I won't talk to you anymore. I'll leave you alone. Just thought you should know why."

Click. I was left staring at the flashing screen on my cell phone as the dial tone filled the awkward silence of my room.

Wait, what the...? I sighed, fell back into my bed, and didn't move for almost fourteen hours.

Only then do I realize that this is eating me alive. I stand up and walk around for a minute, pretending to stretch my legs. You begin to look at me strangely when I keep walking after four and a half minutes.

"Everything okay?" you call out.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, everything's fine," I respond distractedly. You get up and walk over to me.

"You sure?" I feel your hand on my arm and instinctively flinch. You pull back sharply. "Babe, what's wrong?"

I don't reply for a minute, just stare up at the stars.

"Okay, what the HECK was up with last night?" As much as I care about you, the fact that you'd been acting like nothing happened after a good forty minutes of empty conversation was starting to wear my nerves thin.
"Um, yeah, about that..." You were quiet for a minute, probably trying to gather your thoughts.
"Well?"
"I was drunk, Hannah. Please disregard anything I said. It was this stupid idea I had to scare you off, I figured you'd be better off without me. I just wanted to protect you. It seems like all I do is hurt people. I'm sorry."
My jaw fell open. "You're SORRY? That's it? That's all you can say?"

Sighing, I bring my gaze back down to meet your eyes, fighting to keep from drowning in them. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

I look at you sadly and gently take your hand in mine, raising the entwined fingers up to eye level.

"This. Whatever this is, whatever's going on, I can't keep doing it."

You're quiet for a moment.

"Hannah, what do you think is going on?"

I emit a short, bitter laugh. "Come on, Jamie..."

As if it's suddenly hit you, you stiffen. "Hannah, does this have anything to do with last summer?"

I don't want to look at you, for fear my eyes will give me away. You gently grab my face and force eye contact with me, and my wounded emotions are bared for the world to see. You step back in shock, and I avert my gaze yet again.

"Oh no. Oh baby, I am so---"

"Sorry?" I give you a withering glare. I don't want to act this way, but if I don't let some of this blackness out of me, I may drown in it.

"Sorry for what? For destroying our friendship? For leading me on? Or for breaking my heart?" My gaze softens, and I can't help but brush my fingers against your cheek. It's almost an addiction, now. I have to touch you every so often so that I can keep functioning.

"Because that's what you do, you know. You break my heart every time I touch you." I take a deep breath. "Every. single. damn. time."

You stand there, uncertainty written all over your face. "You mean...you...you liked me? When I said that..." Realization finally dawns as you realize exactly how much damage you caused.

"Oh God."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought, too."

You start to say something else, but I interrupt.

"So last summer, I thought I would finally get a chance with the person I would secretly die for, only to find that it was the drunken ramblings of someone I thought was my best friend."

Again, you try to stop me, to get a word in edgewise, but I keep going.

"Do you have any idea how that feels? I was too scared to call you back that night, I didn't think you'd remember. I was going to wait until you sobered up and see if you remembered what you'd said. I even managed to get my hopes up, just for a second or two. And in case you've forgotten the exact time-frame, it had been two years and five months since my heart got a word in above my brain enough to allow me to hope, to believe that just maybe, maybe I'd finally fallen for someone who would love me back, finally someone who wasn't interested in my best friend, or who didn't see me as just a friend, and that finally, the endless years of unrequited love, or even unrequited like were over. So I allowed my broken little heart to hope, for however brief a moment it may have been, only to see it be crushed because yet again, I've ended up being just the best friend..." I plop onto the grass, pulling my knees to my chest like a three-year-old. Only now do I realize that my breathing is heavy and my cheeks are already wet. I must be a sad sight.

You drop to your knees beside me.

"Oh, Hannah," you whisper. I feel your fingers brushing the hair out of my face. "Oh, my Hannah...please forgive me one day."

And suddenly I'm caught up in a hug. A hug because that's the only way you know to heal things, and it's sewing me shut and cutting me back open again all at once.

After a long moment, I finally utter the dreaded question. "So where does this put us?"

You sigh and lay back to look up at the stars again. I feel funny sitting up and looming over you, so I lay down too. Things are much better when we're side-by-side. You slowly intertwine our fingers and run your thumb over my knuckles before propping up on one elbow to look at me.

"Can we just start with this?" you ask in a plaintive whisper. "Just see where this goes?"

I smile despite myself. You take the smile as the positive answer I intended it to be and scoot closer, laying your head back on my stomach, never releasing my hand. My free hand runs through your hair of its own accord, and we're back in the same position we were in fifteen minutes ago. Well, except for two things.

We weren't holding hands before.

And I'm pretty sure the stars weren't shining this brightly fifteen minutes ago.

A/N: Man, that was exhausting to write. This is strictly a one-shot, no negotiations. Though the characters may pop up again...let me know what you think.

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