Story for three

A petite girl sat on top of a garage roof in lament. Being involved in an unrequited love with her psychiatrist was taking a terrible toll on her sanity. In a few hours she would be seeing him again; the anticipation exhausted her.

For a long time her devotion to her psychiatrist had been painless to handle. Ever since that day that he told her nine painful words she started cutting.

If you were my age I would date you.

If you were my age I would date you.

‘Why?’ she screamed inside her mind, ‘why can’t he love me. I am as mature as any twenty six year old! Why can’t he be with me?’ slowly she slid her diamond encrusted razor blade against her skin. Blood appeared with delayed reaction then slid like molasses down her arm. She watched the blood slide to the cement driveway in front of the garage. She lifted the razor blade then gawked at it. The blade used to be apart of her mothers precious razor. Her mother was dead now; it didn’t matter how she was putting the blade to use.

When the girl looked up at the ancient sky she noticed a glimpse of sunlight. With her feeble bloody arm she reached for her piece of sunshine. Her arm faltered from lack of blood.

Sitting in the diminutive room with him; speaking to him; it was all enough to drive her mad. She loved staring at his hand movements; the way he sat, the way he smiled, the way he did everything! He was her obsession.

“Daniel,” her voice said dripping of cyanide.

“Yes?” Daniel asked attentively.

“Are you aware of what you make me feel?”

Daniel shifted in his chair.

‘You are my compulsion,’ she said to herself standing from her chair. Her frail body shook as she stood. “I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real to you. But I am real, and what I feel for you is real.”

“Please sit down,” Daniel said quickly.

The girl took a few steps towards him, “I love you. I need you.” She was now at arms length away from him. The pale mauve of the room melted away and it was simply Daniel and the girl face to face. She studied his body. Daniels pupils dilated, the only sign of fear she could see. She hesitated slightly. Her eyes darted around his face searching for something. “Why are you afraid of me?”

“Please sit down,” he repeated.

“WHY?”

“Please sit down,”

“But I don’t want to.” She started tearing the sleeves of her shirt off frantically with her teeth. When she completely tore the sleeve she showed him her cut marks. “This is how much I love you!”

Daniel was on pins and needles; she had never been a problem for him until today. She was always quiet and somewhat sad. He desperately wanted to help her, “please sit down,” he tried once again.

The girls head tilted and her eyes appeared to be filling with tears, “you told me if you were my age I would date you. What if I told you,” she didn’t finish the sentence quickly. She contorted her body in an unusual form and raised an eyebrow, “I would kill myself unless you promised to love me?”

Daniels mouth formed a frown; “I will not say anything more to you until you sit down.”

The girls body was shaking with unease, had she really given him an ultimatum? She knew she couldn’t live on lusting after him; it was her only choice. She took a few steps back and sat down in her chair.

Daniel grabbed a pen and a pad of paper then started scribbling something down. He tore the paper off the pad effortlessly then handed it to the girl, “I’m sorry but I can no longer help you. Please take this, it’s a referral to another psychiatrist.”

She stared blankly at the paper. Had he really pushed her away? Her hand shook as she reached towards the paper but then she stopped herself. “I am not taking it.” she grabbed the paper and ripped it in half. “Don’t you understand? I love you!”

“You’re fourteen years old.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” She stared at him; he was her glimpse of sunlight in the clouds. The piece of light and hope that was always out of reach. As she reached for him with her scarred arm waned.

“Don’t you think I know that?” she asked him faintly. Her eyes watched Daniel in defeat. She stood up and attempted to leave the room then stopped. Within an instance she dashed half way around the room and grabbed a pair of scissors.

“Don’t you think I know that?” she said near a whisper.

Daniel watched her intently but didn’t make a move to stop her. He knew what she was about to do, and I think you do too.

By Sheena Grant

P.S. she made origami.