When you ask one of the Parkers out, you ask both of them. Can Laurell handle being girlfriend to both Dante and Edmund parker- Hottest twins to ever step in Medeiros High? Uh. Duh.

Dating the Parkers

ONE.

I was going to do it today. I swear to God I am going to do this today. Stepping in front of the mirror, I gave a quick over look at my reflection. 5’2”, one hundred pounds, a little poochy on the cheeks but hey, guys like a little right?

Uh, no.

I moaned and crawled to my bed. A frilly white dress and jeans just won’t cut it! Looking over at my reflections- my back half turned towards the bed and my brushed neatly- I looked like a freaking junior high kid.

“No, no, no!” I smashed my bed sheets, “I’m supposed to look like a sexy diva!”

“OOHHHHHH!!”

I jerked my head up to my older brother Alex and Rollo- our beloved Pomeranian puppy- cuddled in his arms.

He slowly grinned, “Laurell said the “S” word! Our angel has become a corrupted demon!”

“Alex!” I screamed. Alex laughed and dropped Rollo in my arms before darting down the steps.

“Oh mom, wait until you hear what Laurell is up to now!” I heard him scream.

I gasped and dropped Rollo to my bed before dashing down the stairs after my evil (I swear his not blood related) dim witted brother.

How could things have gotten this weird? Only in my family I suppose. In my family if you say the word “stupid” you are plastered as the spawn of Satan and thrown out of the house. That’s how Oliver got kicked out, Alex once told me before mom smacked him on the head.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. We’re not Jesus crazy (No offense), we simply had… an odd way of doing things.

When I was twelve I told my mom I wanted to have sex with my technically first boyfriend Steve (He told me he liked me so I assumed that meant we were going out- obviously not the case he was kissing Jennifer Lou the following week). My mom cracked up and told me to use protection. Then later that year I called Alex a “butthead” because he took my camera to a party last night without my permission. The momster screamed for three hours on and off- coming into my room now and then to scream something inaudible to me.

“Mom, he’s lying!!” I screamed.

I turned the corner and found Alex standing behind my mom, hugging her shoulders in an adoring way, “Mooooom, Laurell said something naughty.”

My mom hushed off Alex, “We don’t use those words and you know that Alexander.”

Alex fake pouted, the way he usually did to win her over, and lightly stomped his feet.

“But she did!”

“Oh shut it!” I hissed.

Big mistake. Instantly my mom whirled on me, a gooey batter coated spatula in her hand.

Hell knows no wrath than my moms’.

“Laurell Edwards do not speak to your older brother in that tone,” My mom barked.

I winced, feeling Alex’s sympathetic gaze on my head. I’m sure he never meant for me to get a “Proper Talking” lecture so early in the morning. But hell, he sure was going to get some tongue lashing from yours truly after this.

“Mornin’ family,” Someone whispered and I felt my hope rise as my savior walked in the room.

“Mornin’ Dad!” I cheered and I jumped to his shoulders, hugging them the way my brother did earlier. I swooped a kiss on his cheek.

Now my dad was mellow- way mellow. Alex, Oliver, and I got away with so much because of him. One time Alex and Oliver broke the vase playing soccer in the house, cliché but it happened, my dad only shrugged and mumbled something about hiding it under the sofa so Gloria (My mom) wouldn’t be upset.

By the time my mom found the broken pieces it was years later and Oliver had already left for Collage.

“Sweetie,” My mom said in a serious tone, “I think we should talk to our children about their language.”

“What?” Alex asked.

I grinned. When one goes down the other has to fall right?

But if the both of us were going to get the tongue lashing, I realized, the speech will just be twice as long. Sad because somehow the speech always goes from watching your talk to how we don’t clean our rooms enough.

Huh.

To Alex and my delight however, my dad (Savior to all) spoke up, “It’s early, Glori” –My mom coughed- “I mean, dear. But where’s Rollo?”

My brother looked straight at me and I returned with an angelic shrug.

Then we heard a loud squeak and down the steps clumsily came Rollo. He whined as he hit the last step, one of my socks hooked over his ear.

I hate wearing socks. Alas, I found myself wearing them around the house more because of Rollo’s accidents. Psh. I remember when I only wore then to…

“School!!” I suddenly remembered.

“Rollo!!” My mom screamed. She darted to the stairs as Rollo began to scamper across the living room.

I glanced at Alex and he nodded at my thoughts. Instantly I reached over my dad and grabbed my purse as Alex ducked under the table to drag his pack.

“Laurell! Haul your butt out of here!” Alex screamed.

My mom’s voice sprang, “We do not use those words Alexander! And Laurell why is Rollo-“

But I had shut the door by then, laughing as I got in the passenger seat. My brother looked back and reared out of the driveway, taking into a cruise to the place I know as a second home.

Medeiros High School.

My brother sighed, “Dodged that bullet.”

I stuck my tongue, “It was all your fault anyways.”

Alex grinned and ruffled my hair.

“Damn freshmen are always making trouble.”

I frowned, hating it when Alex pointed out my social rank.

“Well seniors are egotistical jerks.”

Alex smirked and turned right, “As well we have every right to be, sister.”

It was the last thing he said as the school came into view. High trees lined the way to the white and cream colored building. I remember someone telling me our school used to be a mental hospital. Looking at the prison like building, it wasn’t hard to believe.

Ah, I loved school all the same.

The car slowly came to a stop. Now before you go off saying this is where I explain who my friends are- stop. I have no friends as far as I’m concerned. People hang around me because my brother is Senior of the Year, Valid Victorian, and currently president of ASB. Enough said. I talk to them, but it’s not like I’m going to invite them over anytime soon.

“You look pretty,” Alex grinned and he hopped out of the car.

Confused, I looked at him. Realization hit me and I realized I was wearing one of my prized knee length dresses.

Wait. Why was I wearing a dress-

OH. DAYUM.

I squeaked and leaped out of the car after Alex, who casually hit the lock button after me.

Sorry, I lied. There are only three people I find relatively interesting at this school.

But first let me get something straight- I only like school because I learn. I don’t understand why people find it so boring. I am in love love love with Biology, Geometry, English, and I am taking Japanese as my language choice. Why? Because it’s challenging. Urusai yo.

However those aren’t the only reasons why I am in love with Medeiros High. One, I love Alex. It’s fun to see him cuss when mom isn’t around. Truth be told he looks like a five year old trying to sound cool.

The second was Mr. Muller. My Lord if there was a teacher I would have illegal relationships it would be him. Except for the fact he was Seventy-five (And pushing!) he was the coolest teacher God has ever blessed me with.

Last and most definitely not least- Dante Parker, this junior boy was most possibly the closest thing I had to a crush- love! I can’t help if I fall for the dyed black hair, blonde roots poking out boy with the backwards Mohawk. His long bang covered half his doll face, which was an excuse for a pin cushion.

He wore tight, black jeans which clung to his gaunt legs and studded jackets with leather and oh! I can’t giggle or else Alex will yell at me.

“You got it bad,” Alex acknowledged.

I giggled and linked hands with my brother, swinging it back and forth as I did when I was little.

“Today is the day,” I announced, “I’m going to do it, I swear!”

“Does he even know you?” My brother dryly asked while nodding a hello to some guy.

“We only talk every sixth period!” I gasped.

My brother cocked his head, forming an “o” with his mouth, “Laurell, you talk during class? Shame. Shame. Mother will have to give you a tongue lashing when we get home.”

I gasped, “Not if you don’t tell her!”

But Alex had freed his hand from mine and began to skip down the hall as the bell rang, “Laurell is getting trouble! Laurell is getting in trouble!”

“Alex!!” I screamed, but in vain.

Wouldn’t matter, I decided, he was just a big five year old anyways. What mattered now, however…

I strolled elegantly to my first period class with Mrs. Sony for AP English. What a haul.

Upon entering the room I held my breath for a brief moment. In the far left hand of the room was a long haired boy with golden locks. His hair was framed to his head by a blue bandana around his fore head.

This boy, with the Nirvana Tee and jeans two sizes too small was Edmund.

This boy was Satan’s spawn I swear my life on it.

I groaned and took my seat in front of him.

Mrs. Sony happily burst into the classroom. She grinned cheekily at us and set rolls of paper and books on her desk. Can you not see why I also love this teacher? She’s so peachy and happy in the morning. I love her.

Edmund groaned, “What a hyper bitch.”

See? How rude. Negative too. My Dante would’ve just smiled passively and watch back to his work.

“Good Morning class!” Mrs. Sony exclaimed.

Edmund mimicked her voice, clipping the edges to sound like some Asian wannabe. People around us chuckled and trust me- if looks could kill I would be ready to murder Edmund in a snap.

As usual though, Mrs. Sony ignored it and went straight to on of her parchments. She unrolled it carefully, before taping it to the whiteboard.

“Okay class,” She chirped, “As I said last Friday we’ll be choosing study partners today!”

On the large, white paper taped over the white board were bold black letters.

ROMEO AND JULIET

Words cannot express what chaos had erupted in the room. There were guys hooting and girls squealing. There were the latter group moaning and the rest, including me remaining silence.

And woe and behold, what was Edmund doing?

To my surprise, Edmund was doing absolutely nothing. I had to sneak a glance over my shoulder to make sure he was alive. Yup, still is.

His face was thoughtful. Eyes were diverted to his desk and his hand was barely touching the tips of his hair. For a moment I thought he was taking this seriously.

…Only for a moment that is.

“Sounds gay,” Edmund asked and a series of people joined in on his joke.

More like an insult to me.

Mrs. Sony shook her head and smiled- a mature way to act of course.

“You will get into groups of two and three. After that I will assign you a role in the play depending on who you’re with and how many people,” She replied.

Immediately everyone scattered into their groups. I didn’t care much. Group projects irked me. I was always the one ending up doing the work while the other people chit chatted.

A cheeky lookin’ girl worked her way up to me.

“You’re Alex’s sister right?” She asked.

Ugh.

“Yes,” I responded politely. Mother would be proud.

Her face brightened, “Oh hey! Would you like to be partners with me?”

And what was I to say to that? Like I had anyone else.

“Sure,” I said and immediately her face brightened. A few minutes later she had pulled a chair next to mine.

“What’s your name?” She asked. The girl had ginger hair, I realized. Dang it, it would be so much harder to hate her not.

I loved ginger red hair. It beat the dull color in mine any day. It was so exciting and vibrant- almost like a flame. If I hadn’t known red hair would look horrible on me I would’ve died it red like Ron from Harry Potter years ago.

“My name is Laurell,” I answered. My voice ickened with so much sweet it was sickening.

The girl didn’t seem to notice, instead answering, “Oh cool, my name is Tani.”

I smiled politely again, “Pleased to meet you.”

God shoot me.

Half way through the period Mrs. Sony started to pass out the assignments and I sat restlessly on my stool. As I gathered, Tani was pretty nice, but useless none the less. She asked ridiculous questions about my brother and seemed to know nothing about Romeo and Juliet at all.

“Were they cousins?” She asked me.

You see this? How could you live and not know who Romeo and Juliet were!?

Another sugar coated smile.

“No, they were lovers.”

“Oh. So did you go to Alex’s soccer game last week?”

This went on for God knows how long until Mrs. Sony came to our two desks. She looked at us from side to side and heavily sighed.

“Oh no, this will not do,” She said and looked down on her clipboard, “No. No. No. This scene cannot involve two girls.”

“Give us another scene then,” Tani snapped.

Mrs. Sony shook her head while I glared at Tani who sat oblivious.

“No, no,” Mrs. Sony replied, “There are only two scenes left and the other is when The Montageu and Capulet families meet to see Tybalt’s corpse… hmmm. I suppose I could switch you, Tani. That group over there needed another girl anyways…”

I followed her gaze to a group of guys holding out their iPods.

“Edmund!” Mrs. Sony yelled.

Edmund looked up and I felt the heat drain from my face.

Oh please no.

“Will you be so kind as to trade places with Tani here?” Mrs. Sony asked.

Edmund’s eyes wandered to our seats, he locked eyes with Tani first and then moved to me. I could feel his eyes boring into mine until he finally shrugged and grabbed his bag.

His group started to piss and moan but I didn’t care. Edmund. Me. Working together. That just did not fit.

Tani groaned loudly and began to pack her stuff.

“W-wait!” I screamed and before I stopped myself I yanked Tani down to her rump. Annoying or not I did not want to be stuck with Edmund of all people as my partner.

“Ms. Edwards?” Mrs. Sony looked down at me with curiosity.

By now Edmund had reached our table. He gave the same look Mrs. Sony did, looking from Tani to Mrs. Sony and then to me.

I blushed and jerked my head towards Mrs. Sony.

“I think whichever scene there is Tani and I can work out,” I said definitely.

Mrs. Sony looked puzzled, “Why, Ms. Edwards it’s the Balcony scene.”

Oh gosh no. Not the scene where Romeo and Juliet pronounce their undying love to each other. Heck. No.

Tani blanched, “On second thought I better switch.”

She started to leave but I yanked her down again.

“I’d rather do it with you than him!”

I groaned loudly and slammed my locker.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

All through the day I had been sulking, blushing, and fusing with embarrassment. And on top of that, everyone in the class heard. People probably think I’m a lesbian now. Whoop-dee doo.

What’s worse was Edmund’s reaction. He started cracking up to hard he could have been a record player on repeat. Not soon after wards however, the class joined, Tani was beat red and worse; Mrs. Sony had gave me a long lecture after class.

Wait. Oh this is the good part- I’m still paired up with Edmund.

Yay.

But you know what? I don’t care.

Sixth period was next and I had Dante. Dante. Dante in my class! I got to spend nearly an hour next to a God.

I practically cracked up with laughter on my way to Japanese.

Weird to think a punker like him would take Japanese. But hey, takes all kinds right?

I didn’t mind.

Opening the door, striding across the room, and striking a hundred watt smile, I faced Dante.

Once more, he was perfectly… just there. No words can expect how seeing him can fill me up with so much glee.

My heart sank however, when he met my gaze and asked a question which cut me into a thousand pieces.

“You a lesbian, Edwards?”

“Sssshh,” Alex cooed. He rubbed my back in little circles, “It’s not so bad.”

I choked on a sob and bawled into Alex’s red Coca Cola T-shirt.

“H-He Thu-Thinks I’m a-a-a-“ I sobbed. My snot was running across his shirt.

I felt Alex cough back a chuckle to I slapped him. He fell over and grinned sheepishly at me. When he met my face however, his turned into a sympathetic one.

“Ah, Lorrie,” I winced at the nickname, “Maybe he was disappointed.”

“No!” I screamed, “He laughed at me, Alex! He took me for a joke!”

Alex rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Look Laurell, mom wants us home soon so I can’t just sit here on the friggin’ steps with you.”

I paused, “You said the “F” word.”

“Look Laurell,” And by this Alex looked at me with the most intense look I just had to listen, “Dante Parker is the hottest guy to walk this school.”

Pause.

Screaming I back slapped Alex until he was cracking up so hard, he had to hold me for composure.

“Honestly!” I screamed, “I ask my older brother for help and he gives- gives me this crap!”

“Sshh,” Alex hushed and he laughed, also smothering me with his hands, “We don’t use that word remember?”

We wrestled like that for a while, unaware of the curious glances our way. Finally Alexi let me go holding me within shoulder length and once more looking at me with a serious face.

“Seriously, Laurell.”

“I know. You and I are rivals for Dante’s love.”

This earned me another tickle attack from Alex.

We were rolling down the steps when he attempted to be serious with me again when a jock called Alex from the school’s doors.

Alex, annoyed, yelled something back and stood up, grunting about something inaudible. When he caught me looking he explained, “ASB stuff. I have to go real quick, do you mind waiting?”

I waved my hands signaling I had no problem.

Alex grinned and began to dash away. However, before reaching he door his hand froze and he looked back at me.

“Dante is a good looking guy,” Alex called, “Don’t you find it weird no girl has ever asked him out before?”

Silence waved over me and Alex entered the school.

Well, Dante was God looking, I confirmed. This made me pause. Why hadn’t a girl asked Dante out? Come to think, I haven’t seen him with a single girlfriend. I may be a freshman, but my brother was king of the school- I caught on to this kind of stuff.

I remembered hearing girls talk about him in the bathrooms. There were girls in the hallways who often stared after Dante as he walked down the halls. He had plenty of friends, I knew that. Girls and guys alike were really cool with Dante.

Why hadn’t Dante had a girlfriend before?

Was he saving himself for someone?

“Don’t you find it weird no girl has ever asked him out before?”

But the way Alex phrased the question. It seemed like Dante didn’t mind dating, it was that girls minded dating him.

Nonsense.

They were probably scared. I wouldn’t be surprised. I found Dante to be intimidating until I actually greeted him. Then I found out he was the angel in disguise.

And to prove this point! I was going to find Dante himself.

Which was easy because I knew where he went after schools on what days and with who, what time, and why.

It was Monday, but the second Monday of the month so he was with Emily, Edmund (UGH), Alexi, and Thane to go to Lizzy’s Burgers to eat. Yum. Yum. They often met out by the back near the old, rusty blue lunch tables.

I’m not a stalker, really.

I turned the corner, memorizing every step I took. Finally after walking for two minutes twenty three seconds I reached the willow tree. Sitting myself behind the large trunk, I peeked over to where the blue lunch tables were.

Bingo.

Dante, in all his glory, was sitting back on one of the tables. He was taking an inhale on his cigarette, which I was sure he would quit after we were married, while Thane was talking excitedly to him.

Thane was in three of my periods. He wasn’t really my friend, but we talked. He had a nest of black hair and besides the studs, piercing, and metal music he was everything a punk shouldn’t be. Thane detested drugs. He once made a big deal in Bio when we had to use alcohol in one of our experiments. He cried when we watched Pearl Harbor in History and helped protested anti war.

He was such a poser.

Emily was perched on top of the blue table. Her silky, blonde hair piled on the top of her hair. She had beautiful cats eyes and dark, soft eye liner. I loved Emily for her classic beauty, high cheek bones and natural rosy lips.

I sighed, such a love-hate relationship.

Next across from Emily was Alexi. Not much to be said about him, really. He can’t put two and two together- literally. He used to be real smart, I heard some kid say to me once, but he fell into the ‘o life of sex and drugs.

I was honestly to this point too into my inner narration to myself I didn’t hear Edmund creep up behind me.

“Taser!” He yelled and he jammed both his index fingers in my rib cage.

I feel directly to my knees and screamed. Edmund started cracking up and stepped over me.

“Oh, Edwards. Where far art thou Edwards?” Edmund sighed, “You dare leave me for fair Tani?”

Before he could get anywhere I grabbed hold oh his ankles, causing him to fall face flat on the dirt. This time I crawled over him and lifted myself up.

“I’d rather kiss her than your ugly face,” I retorted.

“I turned a girl lesbo,” Edmund said into the dirt, when he lifted his head up there were crusts of dirt around his face, “Must be my lucky day.”

I stuck out my tongue in discuss which only made him laugh harder.

Edmund dusted himself off and strolled towards me. He was two heads taller than me but I still met his eye.

“And what have I ever done to anger my beloved Juliet?” He questioned.

I rolled my eyes.

“You look like you have a beard with that dirt.”

A laugh escaped from behind me and I froze. Forgetting about Edmund, I turned around to see my beloved, and… those other three, staring directly at us. Thane and Emily looked like they were trying to hold their giggles while Alexi was flat out laughing.

As for Dante, he had a look I couldn’t well read. He looked bemused, yet frightened. Almost, and I could’ve sworn I saw this, nervous.

I walked up uneasily towards them, for some reason, Edmund quickly traveled behind me. I turned and shot him a glare and he smiled smugly at me.

Before I knew it I was in front of Dante himself. I gulped. Never had I ever talked to him outside of class. He seemed so different for some reason. I couldn’t quite place it. Where was the carefree boy I sat next to in Japanese? A nervous, dazed boy replaced him that’s who.

But instantly it was gone and old Dante smiled warmly at me.

“Konnichiwa Edwards san,” Came his greeting.

I laughed and bowed like we had to do in the beginning for every class, Dante only bowed slightly since he was sitting. By now everyone had their gaze on us and suddenly I felt claustrophobic.

“What are you doing here?” Thane suddenly asked, spooning in more tension.

What was I doing here? I looked down at the dress I wore and remembered.

I was asking Dante Parker to be my boyfriend.

Second thoughts were flooding in my head. Wasn’t it the guy’s job to ask the girl out? Why was I here? Oh God I probably looked so lame right about-

“Edwards?” Dante scooted closer.

-now. I should get going what if Alex is looking for me? What will he do when he finds me here? I felt dizzy. Something was wrong.

Edmund tasered me again.

I fell to my knees and repeated the process fully by screaming.

“Hey, I found her spaz button,” Edmund commented.

More laughter.

“You’re asking for it!” I screamed and was almost about to jump at Edmund when Dante paused me.

“Why are you here Edwards?” Dante didn’t act hostile when he said this. He looked more curious then ever now.

I gulped.

It was now or never.

“I…Can I talk you alone Dante?” I whispered. My face already was heating up.

Emily glowered her eyes, “What’s so important you can’t talk in front of all of us, prep?”

‘Prep’? Where the hell did that come from?

I wanted to glare back, I really did. But Dante caught me by placing his hand on my shoulder. I looked down at him. So many rings encircled around his bony fingers. There were metal ones with engravings and some with blue and red gems. One ring caught my eye- a plain gold ring stood out of all the silver, winking at me.

“Sorry, Edwards but you gotta listen to Emi here,” Dante softly replied, “We don’t keep any secrets from each other in this gang.”

ARGH DON’T YOU GUYS KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A LOVE CONFESSION!?

I smiled politely and fidgeted my toes.

“Oh, it’s kind of personal though.”

“No offense Edwards, but we only see each other in Japanese class.”

“Oh! Well…”

I then wished for Alex to rescue me, to come coincidently around the corner and be like, “Oh Lorrie! We have to go!”

I would’ve darted if Edmund wasn’t behind me.

“Well?” Emily pushed. I was beginning to hate her now.

I gulped.

What’s the worse that could happen? He could be awkward and avoid me. But then Dante didn’t seem like the type to do that. But what of Edmund? He wouldn’t live this down… and those other three… they didn’t seem to like me too much.

I grinned.

“It’s nothing, nevermind.”

“Don’t make me taser you again, Edwards,” Edmund dryly replied.

I cocked my head. Something about him and Dante saying my name was familiar. And when I looked at it now… those two seemed a little bit… identical?

“Are you two twins?” I asked before I could think.

Silence and then Alexi broke it by cracking up. Emily shook her head in a sense of relief and Thane just smiled.

Edmund chuckled, “That’s it? Okay well yes ma’m we’re twins.”

“Oh,” I replied, “I couldn’t tell without you standing next to each other.”

“Well duh,” Thane interjected and started laughing.

I blushed harder if possible but Dante still kept his hand on my shoulder. I looked to his face shadowed and shoulders shaking. Obviously he found this funny as well.

“It’s not your fault,” He laughed, “Ever since Edmund and I got haircuts and different attire somehow it caused a slight illusion of us looking slightly different. No harm done.”

I felt…relieved then shocked. Immediately I jerked my head towards Edmund. This… jerk was related to the angelic Dante?! Impossible!!

Edmund seemed to read my mind because he began to scowl, “What Edwards?”

I murmured, “Nothing.” And smiled.

“Well that was fun. But I do think we should get going now,” Thane added.

“About time,” Emily said and she hopped off the table.

Dante smiled and shook his head at me, his hand still rested on my shoulder.

Edmund groaned loudly. My lord was we annoying. I shot him a glare over my shoulder.

“What?”

“I thought,” Edmund said, “Your personal question would be juicier, you know?”

I smiled. He had no idea I came with intention to ask his twin out…

“Too bad. So sad.”

…And I intended to keep it that way…

“OH LORRRIIIEEE!!”

…if faith hadn’t been so cruel.

Everyone- everyone including Emily, Thane, Alexi, Edmund and Dante turned curiously at Alex. I paused.

He wouldn’t.

I watched Alex’s eyes wander to my shoulder- where Dante’s hand still rested.

And I saw him smile.

He would.

“Finally had the guts to ask him out did you?” Alex asked.

I felt every one of their eyes pin into my back like needles.

“I have to admit,” Alex said, “I was a little worried when she said she was going to ask you out today, Parker. But I see everything was in good order. Take care of my little girl now, you hear?”

Silence…is virtue.

Two things happened- Dante immediately removed his hand and Edmund yelled, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Mother would be disappointed at his choice of words.

Chapter One: Meeting the Parkers

December 27, 2006

I do not own Harry Potter, Romeo and Juliet, and anything else I forgot to mention that you know for a fact isn’t mine.

Except for the story, characters, and plot. Those are mine.