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This is based on a true story to a point. If you are portrayed in this story then well, you said I could do it! If you are portrayed in this story and you didn’t say I could do it, then it’s not really you I’m talking about, sry. If your name is Marcy and you are reading this story and you gave your im name to some rodent then please don’t read this story. In fact don’t even read this next line: XD my podler has a boyfriend and he’s cute in that seme way !woot! I don’t own didly squat basically.
Warnings: nerdiness to the x-treme, Basher bashing and perhaps dieing (so if you’re a basher don’t read this), big explosions, implied het, implied old people sex (aka your grandparents). Ooh, and if you’re the government simply don’t read this, xoxo. Nothing stated anywhere in this story should be done, use safety when dealing with explosives and people you don’t know on the internet chil’ens especially those who speak in leet. I research a lot, the only thing fake is the actions and people to some degree. The main characters are pretty real just with less fluffy tails etc.
/ is for translation
“ “ is for dialogue
‘ ‘ is for thought
۞ is for a change of format
Chapter 1
U W3R3 94WN36!! you lost some (superficial) battle and I’m rubbing it in your face
Princess of Death
nice. At least I’m not a nerd.
5QU1RR31
Y35 Y0U 4R3 yes you are
Princess of Death
what? oh…
…
… how?
5QU1RR31
h0w m4ny ch1ck50r65 0u7 7h3r3 p14y w0w? how many chicksords out there play World of Warcraft
Princess of Death
I don’t know… not many, and I bet all of them are nerds.
5QU1RR31
9r3c1531y. 50 ur 1. precisely. So you are one
Princess of Death
Hell no man! I’m friggin gorgeous. Besides there’s no such thing as a female nerd, just female geeks.
5QU1RR31
wh47’5 7h3 61ff3r3nc3? what’s the difference
Princess of Death
something to do with this whale. The point is you’ll never find a girl like me. Hot, sexy, and a gamer.
5QU1RR31
1 kn0w. C4n 1 h4v3 ur AIMY I know. Can I Have your aol instant messaging id
۞
The “Princess of Death” raised his feet to crash almost elegantly onto his monitor, regardless of the catlike ball of fur already resting there. He let out an innocent little giggle, “bwahahahahha bwahahahaha bwa bwahahbwaha!!”
۞
Princess of Death
Sure! It’s MarcI
5QU1RR31
7h4nk5/thanks/
Princess of Death
No problem! Hey, wanna play another game?
5QU1RR31
K!
“Really? How?” says the yaoi fangirl.
Fan girls and real girls can be totally different things if they have found the spawn for their fixation. This particular fan girl had clung to Squirrel at the first available opportunity. You see, Squirrel is very durable, as most rodents are and she desperately needed something durable right now since a lot of her guy friends have been loosing important bits and pieces (it was an accident!) or taking the easy way out and committing suicide. But dearest Squirrel is very flexible and hardly notices what’s even happening to him. The only thing more important than his durability is his adorability. He runs away from dangerous situations in the cutest ways.
“Internet.”
There is an awkward moment in which the entire group of people in Squirrel’s general vicinity stare at him. Friend and foe all have something to say right now, struck by disbelief.
“You met her on the internet?”
“Yeah man, she seemed pretty hot.”
“But how?”
“Dude, I can tell.”
“I think she’s a man.”
“Lalalalalalalala!” Squirrel covered his ears in an obnoxious, yet not necessarily obtrusive way. This conversation cannot possibly end here because a squirrel says it should. It’s too entertaining. Besides, what else do this youths have to do? Schoolwork? psh!
“It’s most likely an old man.”
“Someone with a hairy beer-belly, or a serial killer. In fact, I’ll bet you ten dollars it’s a serial killer.”
“Naw, it’s probably a male version of myself. Just having fun and laughing his ass of because some nerd believes that this chick likes him. God knows I find it entertaining!”
“Noooo! She’s a girl. I swear!... I don’t want her to be a guy!”
“Mkay snicker”
“The point is if sometime during this year Squirrel disappears then you all owe me some cash. At least…”
The class eventually went back to typing on their laptops. Many public high schools have improved in Texas over the past few years. Their district had just made new schools because of the boom in the population, unlike the rest of the state. School’s were going up left and right, all of them of wonderful quality. This particular High School in the suburbs boasted a coffee shop, bank, yoga room and even a garage shop. It was actually more of a vocational school than anything else since it didn’t require it’s students to exercise or even pretend they’re trying. It was a nerd’s paradise.
The little yaoi fan girl skipped off once the software class ended. That class contained only one girl, the fan girl, and after two hours she was thoroughly disturbed from listening to guys talk. She barely escaped with her sanity each day. At first she thought that she’s finally get away from all those female bitches and hos that you find in the normal classes, but being around these certain type of men folk can be truly disturbing. They all think she or Squirrel is flirting whenever they talk to one guy or another, but there really is almost no one else to talk to and half the time the fangirl is simply trying to set any random guy up with Squirrel anyways. The fangirl had serious problems not ranting for no apparent reason since she hadn’t seen that much boob anywhere else in her life thanks to the nerdy portal that is a wireless internet connection. It’s not even anyone’s fault, it’s almost as if someone’s purposely putting this so called “pr0n” in ads for all the hacking sites. All men are perverted, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Squirrel, on the other hand stayed behind a bit and discussed things with computers and other topics you don’t need to know to understand this story.
“Hey guess what? I met this girl on the internet.”
“Ha, right? I bet it’s some fat dude! Someone hairy with something hairy. Do you really want that?”
Jealousy’s tough on everybody. At this point the Squirrel is seriously thinking that he should stop flirting with every living being that crosses his path. On the other hand, maybe not. He wants your soul.
Somehow the fan girl came out of nowhere to glomp Squirrel and kiss the top of his forehead. He kind of just rolled with it, although he looked slightly more ruffled that before.
“But isn’t this thing with the dude online so hilarious? Oh, and I finished my script. Sent it in even!”
“That’s nice Brandy.”
“You have no clue. Squirrel, you believe it’s important, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I so fucking kicked your Ass!! Pay up bitch!” Marc teased his gaming friends.
None of these guys were much of gamers, but Marc was once the worst of them. He received a hundred dollars in cash and put the beautiful green into his pocket where it belonged.
“How’d you get so good?”
“I played some online earlier this week. Got some tips.”
“No one gives tips online.”
“I have my ways.”
‘because I am The Princess of Death, the sexiest nerdy chick in the world’
The losers sat dejected in one of the Trigun’s, one of the failures, room. They were the saddest bunch to ever stare at a 20 inch plasma screen. They were a very competitive however incompetent group so none all of the jocks were sorely disgruntled from loosing. They had just lived through their worst fear by being defeated in a game by Marc since nothing’s worse than loosing to a male cheerleader. They’d never live this down if word got out. Maybe if they kill him now…
“And Tessa McDale’s been looking fiiiiiiine. The girl has technique too. She swivels!”
Tessa’s brother, Trigun, looked thoroughly affronted. If he didn’t know for a fact that Marc simply liked to push buttons, and the best way to do that was to imply that he was doing naughty things with the head cheerleader, then he would’ve at least tried to shank(1) him a little bit. Not that he would’ve gotten far. Marc had played every non school sponsored sport known in New York. He a third degree black belt in Judo and a brown belt in karate. He played on the city’s ice hockey team too. Of course, the logical step to take after this is cheerleading and hat’s exactly what he did once he started high school. He was in the “in crowd” by default alone since he spends time with girls on his squad and he gets laid quite often by them to. He’s the number one rebound at St. Marguerite’s and proud of it.
“Just kidding man, I’m going out with Lisa Vincent this weekend. I know you’re sister’s very chaste and innocent. She’s the type that would join the convent. Just one of those good wholesome catholic girls.”
“We’re not catholic,” mumbles Trigun.
“Oh, but she’s an angel all the same.” Marc butters his bread so that he may grow up big and strong.
“You’re on her side, aren’t you?” Trigun growls.
“Her sparkling aura pulls me in more than yours does.”
‘and she swivels so wellllll! I would never piss off such a popular, swiveling girl!’
Other than that one affronted brother and Marc everyone was quite icy. Everyone knew that Tessa McDale is the least likely person to join the nunnery that has and most likely will ever pass through a St. Marguerite’s Catholic School door. Even the male rabbi who occasionally does lectures at their school is more likely to dress like one of the ruler wielding penguins and steel panties. No fool sitting there in Trigun’s room would voice this jealousy. They all just let Trigun believe that his younger sister is god’s gift to spread happiness and joy to all the baby animals.
‘she’ll be so impressed’
Summary: the slash story of a nerd and the sum of older nerds. It’s all about the cruel cycle.
(1)Shank means poke really hard with something sharp and metallic.