Author’s Note

I know what a lot of you are thinking, and I have to be quite honest with you. I was thinking the same thing. I should have, or Why didn’t I, or maybe even How could such an intelligent person? These are the phrases that so many people said to me when I first started talking about what happened. I do not know why I did not handle this differently and I do not know how I let myself get caught up in this. Part of me really hates myself for not handling this situation the way that I always thought that I would. You know, swat his hand away, create an embarrassing scene or give him some absolutely obvious indication that I had no interest in any of his advances. I guess that this just goes to show that you just don’t know how you are going to react to a certain situation until it happens to you.

Me, I know that I took on the idea that this was somehow my fault, that I did something to instigate this kind of treatment, hence the title, “The Girl How Thought Her Skirt Was Too Short.” I think that it’s a wonderful analogy. (Thanks Katie!) But I really did not. I was just trying to be friendly. When I wanted to do things to change the situation, like when I went home and my mother had me all geared up to tell him never to touch me again, I allowed myself to be talked out of it. I was a coward. None of this really matters now. I cannot change the past. But, I can learn from this. So that is exactly what I am taking this as, a learning experience. I am smarter now; I know better. I will react differently the next time so that I can stop it from ever getting this far again. It’s not going to happen to me again.

Another reason why I was hesitant at reporting “Carlos” was because he appeared to be good friends with the attendings at the hospital. I was afraid that if I did anything, that it would all somehow fall back on me and I would end up being miserable. In retrospect, that did not really matter because I ended up being miserable anyway. I was also afraid of “Carlos.” I still look over my shoulder even though I know that he is nowhere near.

I actually felt bad for the guy in some ways. I don’t know why, but I just did. Maybe because I thought that he was pretty pathetic.

I think that “Carlos” is a pervert. He knew exactly what he was doing. I think that he targeted me and each move he made was a test to see how far I would let him go. “Carlos” sexually harassed my friend, “Janet,” and me. Personally, I think that as soon as “Carlos” gets comfortable again, he will be back up to his old tricks. I just hope that the next thin blonde with wavy hair that he harasses has enough strength to stand up to him and report him so that he gets his just dessert.

You know, there is a bottom line here. I didn’t mean to lead him on in any way, and I do not know if I unintentionally did or not, but that is irrelevant. No one should have to go to work and worry about being touched. Everyone should be able to work without these kinds of distractions. That goes for men and women alike.

Thank you for reading my story. You know this and my poems, He Touched Me and Sexual Harassment, were both very therapeutic writings for me. I was unable to get the counseling that I am certain that I needed. I like to hope though, that this prepares others for this or helps others report the man or woman that has been torturing him or her. No one wants to be the woman who fails to report a rape because she thinks that her skirt is too short.

The End