I'm paranoid…I know this…my brain knows this…I wish that my brain would sit down and have a talk with that annoying nagging feeling in my gut…it's too familiar…familiar is not good…this is different…I repeat it again and again in my head…but the feeling won't leave me alone…I know how stupid I'm being…but am I really being that stupid?...it happened before…it can happen again…this crazy happiness can't last too long...but I'm probably being paranoid and childish and stupid...or maybe I just need to learn how to trust people…maybe just once I won't be forgotten…or left behind…maybe this is different…but I want a guarantee…but there's no guarantee…and it's me against the world all over again…accept it and move on…toughen up…pretend you're running…I guess I already am running…running away from the best thing that has ever happened to me…slow down…catch your breath…it will be okay.