OK... this is a part of another story, but it does OK by itself. So... it's mostly dialogue, because I was lazy, and my friends thought it was good that way, but if it bugs you, let me know.

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565 Ways to Say “No”

“Em! Hey, Emerald!”

“I’ll have you know right now, Pyro, that I am not in a good mood today. Several people have been giggling behind my back, I was late for first hour because my alarm didn’t go off, and the vending machine is broken.”

“Al…right… ummm… well… I- I was wondering… if… maybe… you’d like to go out? With me? On a date?”

“…Why?”

“Well… cuz I love you. And we’re gonna be married someday, and have lots of children, I think seven, and live in Cleveland!”

“No you don’t, no we most definitely won’t, and why Cleveland?”

“Just cuz. So will you go out with me and make me the happiest boy this side of the playground?”

“Um… no.”

Pause.

“Emerald… wait…”

“What?”

“It was the delivery wasn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“Let me try again. Em, would you like to go to a movie on Friday with me?”

“No.”

“Ah. OK. Why?”

“I don’t like you, Pyro.”

“OK.” Pause. “But Em?”

“What, Pyro?”

“I’m not going to give up that easily.”

“Oh no…”

-------------------------------

Emerald knew there was trouble when she woke up and saw a sign slapped on her window that read in red bubble letters, “U Complete Me”. She blinked and then scowled. “Pyro…” she growled, throwing her covers off and rushing to get dressed.

She tripped over something on her front doorstep, and found a small bouquet of flowers, carefully arranged. Attached to the flowers was a note that read, “Good morning, Green-eyes! Hope you like the flowers! Love, Pyro.” Emerald regained her posture and kicked the flowers across her yard. “There will be blood this night…” she muttered under her breath.

“PYROOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Dude… what’d you do?” asked Jerry as the boys saw Emerald storming towards them, or more specifically, Pyro.

Pyro grinned. “Nothin’…”

Jerry, Bobert, Hydro, and Copo exchanged looks that blatantly said, “Yeah, right.”

Emerald had only just reached Pyro and opened her mouth to speak, when unexpectedly, Pyro grabbed her around the hips and kissed her. After a brief moment of shock, Emerald kneed Pyro where it counted and stepped back.

“What was THAT?!” she yelled, ignoring the other boys’ cries of “MY EYES!” and “OH MY GOD!” and such.

“One of my bigger, but admittedly more enjoyable mistakes…” whispered Pyro, who was still in pain. “But Em… I gotta ask you something…”

Emerald gave Pyro an icy glare. “What.”

This did not seem to faze Pyro. At all. “Will you go out with me?”

Emerald’s face turned redder with fury. “PYRO! That’s the fifth time you’ve asked me in the past THREE DAYS!”

Pyro rolled his eyes. “I told you I wasn’t gonna give up that easily.”

“How many times do I have to reject you before it gets through your dumb blonde head that I don’t like you?”

“Hundreds or maybe never at all,” said Pyro matter-of-factly.

Jerry, Bobert, and Copo all looked at each other and grinned. “Bet you five dollars he asks her out more than one hundred- wait, no- five hundred times this year!” said Jerry.

Bobert and Copo grinned and shouted simultaneously, “You’re on!”

Hydro sighed and shook his head.

Emerald sighed. “This is gonna take a while…”

-------------------------------

“Go out with me?”

“No.”

“Go out with me?”

“No.”

“Marry me?”

“Definite no.”

“Em, I don’t think you quite understand the seriousity of the situation.”

“…Pyro, ‘seriousity’ is not a word.”

“Will you just hear me out? If you don’t go out with me, then my heart will break. Again. And do you know what will happen if my heart breaks?”

“You’ll die?”

“Yes. I will die, Green-eyes. Do you really want that to happen to me?”

“…Give me a minute.”

“Just go out with me!”

“Nope. Talk to you later, Pyro.”

“…I feel so rejected. Who knew she could reject me a whole fourteen times.”

“…Is that a tally?!”

-------------------------------

The school hallway seemed to be darker to Emerald- “Odd…”- but she still ignored it. She kept walking to the bathroom quietly, when suddenly, a voice from behind stopped her.

“You come here often?”

Emerald rolled her eyes and turned around. “Pyro. No.”

Pyro sighed regretfully. “You know me too well, Green-eyes.”

Emerald smirked and left, waving her hand lazily in the air.

“Forty-nine…”

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School cafeteria, target spotted talking with her friends. Current self-shame level: zero.

“HEY EMERALD! I LOOOOOOVE YOU! GO OUT WITH ME?!”

“NO! GO TO-”

Current self-shame level: one hundred. “Fifty-six…”

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“Hey Pyro.”

“Hi Blondie. What’s up?”

“Not much. Emerald just sent me over to tell you something.”

“Oh really? Then I take it she found my note?”

“Yes. She wants you to know that she’s going to be filing a restraining order out on you after school today. By the way, how did you figure out her locker combination?”

“Ahh… I have my ways. So did she say yes or no?”

“…And I quote, ‘Heck no.’”

“Oh. Darn.”

“I’m sorry, Pyro. You’ll get her someday.”

“Seventy-three…”

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“Hey, Em?”

“What, Pyro?”

“Is it just me, or are we destined to be married?”

“It’s just you.”

Pause. “Way to kill a mood, Green-eyes.”

“It’s what I do.”

“I still love you.”

“I still don’t care.”

“I’ll always love you, Emerald.”

“I’ll always turn you down, Pyro.”

“Emerald?”

“Pyro?”

“Will you go out with me?”

“No. Goodnight, Pyro.” Click.

“Ninety-eight…”

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“Hello. I’m a thief and I’m here to steal your heart.”

“Go away, Pyro. I’m not in the mood for your stupidity today.”

“Well, there’s a very simple way to make me go away.”

“…What?”

“Say yes.”

“There’s another very simple way to make you not only go away, but shut up.”

“Oh really?”

“Shoot you.”

“I take it that’s another ‘no’.”

“Aren’t you a smarty?”

“One hundred and fifteen…”

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Click. “What the…” Click. Emerald opened up her window and saw, in the pouring rain, Pyro standing on her lawn, looking up eagerly.

“HIII GREEN-EYES!” he yelled, and then he proceeded to sing, “OHHH I LOVE YOU EMMY

AND WE’RE GONNA BE MARRIED

AND WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME

PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEEEAAASE!”

“PYRO, THAT SUCKED! GO HOME!”

“I LOVE YOU!”

“I DON’T!!!” With that, Emerald slammed her window shut.

“One hundred thirty-six…”

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“Cue Q and Radar in 3… 2… 1…”

“Emerald. I am your- hehehe- conscience.”

“And I am your subconscious.”

“Go out with Pyro. He’s a lonely boy.”

“And a desperate one.”

“And I only have eeyyyeeeesss for yooouu, deeaaar!”

THUD.

“Ooooooh…”

“That gotta hurt…”

“I never want to hear your singing ever again, Pyro…”

“Go… out… with-”

“NEVER.”

“OK… one hundred thirty-seven…”

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“I don’t feel so good, Green-eyes.”

“You don’t look so good. Though that’s not saying much.”

“Oh hardy-har.”

“I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”

“I feel all lightheaded and my stomach feels all funny… Em… I think I’m lovesick!”

“Oh Lord.”

“There’s only one cure for me, Emerald… go out on a date with me, please?”

“No. I hope you die.”

“One hundred and eighty…”

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Valentine’s Day. Target walking into the school. She looks really annoyed. Rose: check. Breath: check. Pants: check.

“Hello, my beautiful lady. I just wanted to show this rose how cute you are. Be my valentine?”

“Oh just take the stupid rose and shove it up your-”

“Two hundred and nine…”

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“Hey Em, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“No.”

“…Wow. You’re good.”

“I know I am.”

“But that’s not what I wanted to ask you… yet. Do you have a quarter?”

“No.”

“Oh. Darn. My mom told me to call when I found the girl of my dreams.”

“You’ve been asking me out all year, and I’m just now ‘the girl of your dreams’?”

“Uhmmm… go out with me?”

“No.”

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“Two hundred forty-seven…”

“Why won’t you go out with me?”

“Cuz I don’t like you like that.”

“Or do you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Do you think I’m cute?”

“Nooooooo…”

“This other girl does.”

“Oh really?”

“Holly Edwards.”

“So why don’t you ask her out?”

“Cuz I don’t love her.”

“You’re sad.”

“I know. Go out with me?”

“No. Goodnight, Pyro.” Click.

-------------------------------

“Two hundred ninety-three…”

“I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.”

“Pyro. Most people consider further south to be a very, very baaad place to be.”

“…Uh… then I guess I’m not lost!”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“But I’m an idiot in love.”

“You’re not in love!”

“Emerald! Why would you say such hurtful things?”

“Because you’re not!”

“Oh yeah? Well, Emerald Hope Ramaker, then how come I know so much about you?”

“Because you’re a stalker.”

“…Go out with me?”

“No.”

“Three hundred and twelve.”

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“Go out with me?”

“No.”

“Three hundred sixty-six.”

Pause.

“Emerald, are you OK?”

“I’m fine!”

“No you’re not. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why won’t you look me in the eye?”

“Because I want you to go away.”

“I think you know as well as I do that I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Gah, why?”

“You know perfectly well why. So are you gonna tell me or not?”

“…You wouldn’t understand…”

“Em… Green-eyes, don’t cry… what wouldn’t I understand?”

“No, you don’t… it’s this guy…”

Deadly silence.

“What did he do.”

“He said that I was creepy… that I didn’t act right…”

“Mh. Idiot.”

“He said I was ugly…”

“What?! Is he blind? You’re gorgeous, Em, both inside and out. Any guy who merely stands in your presence is lucky to be there. I’d love to be the guy who gets to hold your hand…” Pyro stood closer to Emerald and entwined her cold fingers in his warm ones. “To hug you…” He sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. “To kiss you…” he whispered gently, getting closer to Emerald, whose green eyes were round and bright. And suddenly, just before there was no more space between them, Pyro pulled away and smiled. “I bet you thought I was gonna kiss you for a moment there, huh?”

Emerald blushed and looked down.

“Yeah… me too,” admitted Pyro quietly. He looked back at Emerald. “You wouldn’t have let me, though, right?”

Emerald smiled. “You know me too well, Pyro.”

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“Annn’ this is Pyro. Say ‘hi’, Pyro!”

“Hi, Q’s camera! Think I have a chance with Em this time?”

“I don’t know. You can try though!”

“Alright then. HEY EMERALD!”

“WHAT?”

“HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU HOW STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?”

“YES, YOU!”

“SO WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!”

“IN YOUR DREAMS, PYRO!”

“Well, that’s a step up from what she usually tells you…”

“Four hundred and three…”

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“Is the coast clear?”

“Yep. It’s all set. Good luck, lover-boy.”

“Aw, shucks. You’re making me blush.”

“…Yeah, don’t ever say that again.”

Emerald sat down on the bench at the playground, holding the flowers she had received from an anonymous sender- she thought it might be Pyro’s doing again, but then, she thought, if it were Pyro, he wouldn’t have signed it anonymously. And so here she was now, at the schoolyard playground after hours, waiting.

Then she heard a sound from behind her, and she turned around.

It was a squirrel.

She rolled her eyes and turned back around, looking at her flowers, and then she heard footsteps coming across the sand, and music. She looked up and saw…

“Pyro?” she said in confusion, setting the flowers on the bench.

Pyro smiled, running a hand through his messy blonde hair, and he said, “Hey Green-eyes.”

Emerald frowned in incomprehension and asked, “What… what’s going on?”

“Well…” said Pyro gently, looking at the ground, “I just thought I might do something nice for you. And all.” He smiled at her again.

Emerald half-smiled. “Um… why?” she asked.

Pyro sighed. “I…” He stopped himself. “You know why, Emerald.” He stepped towards her. “So… d’you like the flowers?” He looked kind of worried.

Emerald nodded. “They’re beautiful.”

“I woulda given you roses, but…” Pyro stopped and laughed to himself.

“What’s so funny?” asked Emerald.

“Um… I just thought of this stupid line…” said Pyro quietly. “If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.” He smiled and shrugged.

Emerald grinned, and then they heard above the music, “Will you ask her already?”

Pyro started to turn red. “Uhhh… sorry…” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “But… uhh… would you… like to do this sort of thing more often?” he asked. “With me?”

Emerald sighed. “Umm…” She paused, and then shrugged. “I think you know my answer already.”

Pyro looked desperate for a moment. “What if I gave you roses?”

“No…”

“Dang. Forty hundred fifty-five…”

“…You still have a tally?!”

-------------------------------

“Pyro, I got your letter.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And… it was beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Which is going to make it even harder for me to tell you…”

“Wait, let me guess- ‘no’.”

“…You’re right.”

“Yeah, I figured. But I made you happy, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. I was kind of having a bad day that day and read all that… well… it was really nice.”

“Mission accomplished, then.”

“You’re sweet, Pyro.”

“Em, what are you…”

“…”

“…WAHOO! LUCKY NUMBER 497!”

“Pyro, it was just on the cheek.”

“To be honest, I don’t care! YOU LIKE ME!”

“…Uh… no I don’t.”

“…Bummer.”

-------------------------------

“A squared plus 9 squared equals 125.”

“Me plus you equals-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Pyro.”

“Sorry.”

“You know how to do this?”

“No idea. You?”

“No.”

“Looks like we have something in common, so maybe we should see if-”

“No.”

“Five hundred and two.”

-------------------------------

“Hey… Emerald?”

“What?”

“Do you believe me when I tell you I love you?”

“No, not really.”

“Why not?!”

“You say it too easily.”

“But it’s true.”

“How do I know?”

“Well… I could do this…”

“…”

“…”

“…Pyro…”

“Yeah?”

“You just… kissed… me…”

“Do you believe me yet?”

“…I might…”

“Will you go out with me?”

“…No…”

“Five hundred thirty-eight.”

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Seventh grade, second-to-last day, on the bus to school, and the target is spotted- Emerald Hope Ramaker, someday to be Emerald Hope Rigby. Pyro smirked as he strutted up to his not-so-secret crush, looked her over- man, she hadn’t changed a bit- and proceeded to squeak out, “Hi Green-Eyes.”

Emerald rolled the eyes for which Pyro had nicknamed her and said, “Getting into the helium there, Pyro?”

Pyro smiled weakly and cleared his throat. “Well… actually… I was wondering…”

Emerald knew exactly what he was going to ask and shot out venomously, “No.”

And yet, the words began to tumble out of his mouth anyways. “Will-”

“No.”

“You-”

“No.”

“Go-”

“No.”

“Out-”

“No.”

“With-”

“No.”

“Me?”

“NO!” Emerald glared at the blonde-haired, hazel-eyed boy that looked at her so pleadingly. “Pyro, I don’t like you. Don’t you get it by now after…” She thought for a moment.

“Five hundred and sixty-three,” said Pyro.

“Yes, thank you. Don’t you get it by now after five hundred and sixty-three rejections?”

Pyro smiled that annoyingly lopsided smile of his. “Someday you might say yes.”

Emerald glared at Pyro icily. “Never.”

Pyro shrugged. “I don’t know, Em…” He grinned impishly. “Go out with me?”

“No. Five hundred and sixty-four, Pyro. You’re reaaaallly starting to get on my nerves.”

“Only starting to after five hundred and sixty-four? Awww, I’m growing on you!”

Emerald sighed and rolled her eyes. “That’s because you’re supposed to be my friend. And friends don’t let friends HIT ON each other. Hint. Hint.”

Pyro looked at her blankly. “Sorry, not getting that hint.”

Emerald groaned loudly, and just as she did so, “K” and Q, her friends, got on the bus.

“Hi, Pyro!” chirped Q, her red hair in pigtails and under a baseball cap and her light blue eyes magnified by her large blue glasses. She was one of the few girls who approved of Pyro’s “infatuation” with Emerald.

“Hello, Rigby,” said “K”, a brown-eyed blonde, a bit coldly. She did not approve, needless to say. “Still didn’t get that oh-so-needed haircut like I prescribed?”

Pyro grinned, running a hand through his hair. “Nope. Sorry to disappoint.”

“K” rolled her eyes and whispered something inaudibly to Q, who frowned and replied, “That’s mean, ‘K’.”

“PYRO! PYRO, why are you hanging out with a bunch of girls?” cried Jerry as he, Bobert, and Hydro got on the bus.

Pyro looked upwards and smiled uncomfortably. “Mayday, mayday, going down…” “Hey, guys…”

Emerald smirked. “Looks like the circus is coming to town.”

Jerry paled. “Circus? WHERE? DON’T LET THE CLOWN GET ME!” he cried, holding tightly to Bobert, who began to turn blue.

“K” looked upon this scene with a wary eye. “You guys are weird.”

Pyro sighed. “But they’re my best friends,” he said, walking off with the other guys. He looked back at Emerald. “Hey beautiful!”

“NO!”

That wasn’t about to stop Pyro. “Want to go out?”

Emerald snapped- apparently, 565 was her limit. “PYRO! Why can’t you get it through your big, stupid, blonde head that I DON’T LIKE YOU and have NEVER liked you and never WILL like you as more than a friend! So why don’t you just GIVE UP, STOP FLIRTING AT ME, and MOVE ON ALREADY because I DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY FEEL ABOUT ME.”

There was silence. Emerald had made it clear before that she didn’t like Pyro, but she had never been so brutal and mean to him before.

A few more moments passed, with Emerald shooting daggers at Pyro and Pyro giving Emerald an extremely hurt look, and then others went on with what they were previously doing.

“Emerald…” said Pyro.

“I THOUGHT I told you NO,” repeated Emerald, her voice thick with impatience.

But Pyro went on. “Is that what you want from me? Do you… do you really want me to stop? Forever?”

“Oh NOW it sinks in!” laughed Emerald hollowly. “YES, Pyro. That is what I want you to do. Find yourself a nice girlfriend- NOT ME- and propose marriage to HER. OK? OK.”

Pyro sighed and was silent for a few moments as he felt his heart break. “…Alright, Gree-” He stopped himself. He only called her that because he loved her, because he knew… he just KNEW that somehow… that they were going to be married someday. “…Emerald…”

“OK, Copo. That’s over 500. Pay up.”

“Aww maaan!”

End

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