Ode to (Him)

Yet another day, and still, I cannot thrust your image out of my mind. It lingers, as ever, wild and free as a thunderstorm. I try to force it out, but no – it stays, and will for as long as it pleases.

So I dwell on it.

My heart longs to see you; aches to hold you, yet is afraid to do so. I whisper your name, softly.

My heart flutters at the sound. Oh, how glorious a sound! It quivers, as a butterfly’s wings, eager to fly and be free. But it cannot fly, though it is better to love – to pour out your innermost soul – and be deeply wounded, than never to have loved at all.

I saw you, passing by in the sea of faces. I chanced – I looked – and caught your eyes. Oh, what a divine light shines from your eyes. My heart cried out to you – but you did not hear.

I spoke a soft greeting – timid it was – and you were swept away by the sea of faces.

Yet not before you smiled at me. Oh, my heart soared! I floated off the ground and shone with golden light, delighted to see you smile at me.

I do not know when I shall see you again. I’ve been thinking of telling you – telling all that I feel – yet I hold back, for I am afraid of rejection. Afraid that you will not love me.

Yet it matters little, for you hold my heart in your hands, without knowing so. Reject me, and it will fall, and shatter against the hard reality of life. You will, without knowing so at all.

I can only wait for what the future brings me, and make the best of what I relieve, it is better still to give than receive, but it takes two. I can only hope for the best. Tomorrow is a new day; hope comes with the rising sun of dawn; and I long for you to come to me, open and loving at last.