Papa

The sky is a cold grey

As I stand and reminisce

Cold rain falls

To accompany my warm tears

It can’t be helped

Every thought of you

Causes silent tears

The pain of loss

A wound still fresh

I wish you weren’t gone

I wish you had stayed

Just a little longer

Now I sit with the guilt

Of a promise unkept

Is the rain

A sign from you?

I never saw you cry

But is the rain your tears?

Crying for the one

Who still can’t move on?

There were so many things

Left unsaid

In the end

Did I make you proud?

Or were you still disappointed

That had yet to make peace with my grandmother?

The night you started to die

I planned to myself that I’d come visit

I heard our conversation

Was that our souls meeting?

The ominous imagined conversation

Talk of you being at my wedding

I heard you comment that you’d be gone before it

At the time I had shrugged it off

I had just let my imagination

Wander on its own

But now I feel

That my dreamed up conversation

Meant so much more

It came true

Two weeks have passed

Since the day I dreamed that conversation

A week has passed since

You were laid to rest

You died too soon,

Too young

I’ll never see you again

Never get to introduce a boyfriend to you

Never discuss movies

Or country music with you

Never make good on the

Last promise I made you

But I can live in relative peace

For I know as I stood

By your hospital bed and cried

That you heard the last words

I spoke to you

That you left knowing

I love you, Papa