Dedicated to a boy who has made these past two months worth singing about.

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“It’s okay, you can go to sleep. Your health is more important to me than you staying up so we can talk about nothing,” I said.

“We’re not talking about nothing, we’re talking about everything,” he said. “And I want to talk to you. I’ll fall asleep when I’m good and ready.

“Fine, love, but when you can barely keep your eyes open at work tomorrow, don’t come crying to me,” I said with a laugh.

“Just eight more minutes until midnight, and then I’ll go, okay?” he promised. I could hear fatigue dripping from every word he said, but I could also see that the stubbornness in his personality was nothing I could change and I’d just have to accept it.

“Why midnight?” I asked.

“Because then it will officially be our two-month anniversary, and I can say it to you the second the clock changes.”

I chuckled quietly to myself. “You’re adorable, do you know that?”

There was a long silence before a sigh accompanied by, “I know.”

We were silent for a moment, just feeling each other’s presence on the other end of the line even though we were too far away from each other to touch. Finally, he managed to say, “You know . . . you know what I’d love . . . right now?”

“What would you love right now?” I asked softly.

“I’d love . . . for you to sing to me.”

I blushed. “What do you want me to sing?”

“Anything,” he whispered. “I just love . . . the sound of your . . . singing voice.”

I sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what to sing for him – it had to be something soft, and I had to sing it quietly because the rest of the house was asleep. I chose Self-Conclusion, an incredible acoustic piece by the Spill Canvas, and started singing. It was serene and quiet and beautiful and I could almost see him smiling in front of me as I sang.

When I was done, there was silence on the other line – only breathing. I realized that he had fallen asleep.

“Oh, darling, you were so close,” I said, looking to the clock on the bedside table to my left. “Four more minutes and you would have made it.”

I thought of hanging up. It seemed kind of pointless to lie there in my bed with my phone up to my ear when there was no one on the other end to hear me. But I had some things left to say.

“I don’t know if you’re really asleep or if this is all some cruel trick to hear what I’d say to you if I thought you had gone. Or maybe it’s just your way of trying to get me to fall asleep, since you’re always the one telling me to go to bed. So maybe you can hear me and you’re laughing in your head at every word I’m saying to you. But I don’t really care. I’m going to talk anyway.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Have you ever been on the phone with someone and just closed your eyes, and you could suddenly see them saying what they’re saying, as if he or she is actually there? I’m doing that right now. Except you’re asleep, so you’re not saying anything. And we’re not actually in my room, we’re in the living room, sitting on the couch. The fire is on. And you’re wearing that blue button-up shirt you wore a couple of weeks ago to the Christmas party you went to with your family. I don’t know why we’re there, but we are. I guess that’s how I picture you when I picture you, because you looked so handsome that day. I was so proud that you were mine. All I could do was look at you and think to myself, ‘He’s my boy. He chose me, and I chose him. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.’ You looked so handsome, I can’t even get over it.

“I bet you’re the most beautiful thing when you’re asleep. You’re already beautiful when you’re awake, but when people sleep they look more peaceful and blissful, and that would make you even more beautiful than you already are. You have the most incredible skin, did you know that? It’s just this gorgeous, milk chocolate color. And you’re so soft, too. And not to mention your eyelashes. Oh, dear Lord, your eyelashes make me want to faint sometimes. It sounds stupid because, you know, they’re eyelashes, but they’re just so thick and dark and amazing. When your eyes are closed, your eyelashes rest right over your skin, and it’s basically the most beautiful thing God could have ever created.

“You know, these past two months have been the best months of my life. I can’t remember a time when I’ve been as happy as I have been these two months. Sometimes it seems like it’s been so much more than that when I think of all that’s happened in between – all the kisses we had, all the dances we shared, all the movies we watched, all the hours we spent on the phone – but then I think about how it seems like I only met you yesterday.

“It probably would seem pretty cowardly to anyone outside the situation to know that I’m telling you all this while you’re asleep and you can’t hear me. They probably think that if I really care about you this much I should just tell you to your face. But it’s hard because when you’re standing in front of me, sometimes the words don’t come the same way.”

I sighed again, realizing that I was running out of energy, too. The words were coming slower now. There were more pauses in between my sentences. I wasn’t sure if I was making sense at all because I couldn’t really hear myself. Then again, it didn’t matter if it made sense at all because he was asleep and couldn’t hear me.

“Do you remember the night when we were driving to the after-party following Holiday Ball, and you told me that there were a million times when you wanted to tell me that you loved me, but there’s so much impact in those three little words that it was sometimes hard to say? That was a whole month ago, if you can imagine that. A lot has happened since then.

“And you know what? You were right. There is a lot of impact in those three words. Honestly, think about how many people in the world that you truly love. Like really, honestly, truly love. Not necessarily in a romantic sense, just in general. To say that you loved me . . . that’s saying a hell of a lot, especially for only knowing me for a little more than a month.

“Someone might say that I’m crazy, that I’m one of those stupid teenagers who will tell every boy she dates that she loves him because she doesn’t really know what love is, but I’ve thought about it a lot. I know what love is. Love is that person that keeps you going. Love is the person that keeps you smiling, even when you’re having a shitty day. Love is that person that holds you and lets you cry into his shoulder and stain his perfectly good shirt with mascara when you’re sad. Love is the person you want to fall asleep with. And for me, that’s you.”

His breathing was still heavy. If he was faking, he was doing a good job of it.

“So I guess I might as well just get it over with and say it. Whether or not you’re sleeping, maybe you’ll hear it somewhere in your head and you’ll wake up in the morning and remember me saying it. I dunno. But whatever the circumstances, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve come to realize that I love you.”

I looked over at the clock. It said that it was 12:01.

“Happy anniversary, handsome. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

Click.