How the Sloth Came To Be
By: Tim Blake
Long ago in the city of Athens lived a man named Darius, son of Jakob the Blacksmith. Now Darius wasn't a very lively person: He lived life with out risk, nor with care, he also was a fat slob of a man, but we won't go there, now will we? Anyway, Darius worked as an assistant to his father, at the Blacksmith's shop, welding blades together (or was supposed to, anyway). Once his father, Jakob was out of sight, Darius would leave his work be, and play with his jacks.
Now, from far below the Earth, in the land of Tartarus, the Land of the Damned, Darius was being watched, watched by Hades's own Blacksmith, Arkanius. Arkanius was very displeased with Darius's lazy self and decided to do something.
"Ah, yes..." he said to himself, his forked tongue slithering out of his mouth. "I shall punish that boy dearly...make him humiliated and despised by his peers and family...bwaa..." he cackled fiercely. And with that, Arkanius burst out of Tartarus in his golden chariot, with blazed horses pulling it from the front.
In the mean time, Jakob was yelling at Darius to do his work. "You are nothing but a slug! A thick-headed slug who despises his work! Get out of my shop at once, and I never want to see your fatigue face again!" With that, Darius scoffed at his father. "You will call for me back, old man...wait and you'll see." and he left.
Darius trailed five days, and five nights, looking for a new job to do. He turned, hearing a swift crack of a leather whip, and neighing behind him. The golden chariot of Arkanius flew over head of Darius, narrowly missing his unbrushed hair.
"Who are you?" Darius asked as the gold chariot had landed. "I am Arkanius, Blacksmith of Hades, himself." Arkanius had answered coldly. "I have been watching you, and you disappoint me, dear child." Darius backed up a few steps. "You shall feel what it truly is like to be as lazy and fat as yourself!" Declared Arkanius. And with that, Arkanius snapped his fingers, and before Darius could scream for help, he was transformed into a great big tree sloth.
"Now," Arkanius started. "This is what you get for being lazy...and you shall stay like this, forever in eternity!! Bwaaaa!!" With that, Arkanius left Darius the Sloth, to travel his doom, forever.
And so, the sloth, scared of the ground, incase that Arkanius would take them away stays high up in the trees, and sleep...just like Darius would do.