“There he is. Hey, are you following me?”

I turned in the bustling and overcrowded hallway to a classmate from last period. He was standing beside a classroom door along my usual way. I laughed before fake-scowling at him.

“But weren’t you the one outside my window last night?”

“Yeah baby!” he made a few crude gestures as I walked passed and we both laughed. Metal working was the class we had together, but really it was a jewelry class. I, of course, happened to sit at the most despised table with three of the loudest, crudest, and most surprisingly skilled boys in there. We always had a ball in that class, and always were being yelled at by the teacher. My mind drifted past the moment to what classes I still had left to go: fifth period, lunch and sixth period. Ugh. I sighed loudly before straightening up suddenly.

Wait, its fifth period! That means its time to walk with Lonnie to class! I grinned as I recalled a mental image of her smiling face and adjusted my blouse, tugging at my bra strap to make it fall in place. Yes i said bra, don’t let my friends pronoun usage confuse you, I’m very female. I’m not boyish much at all really except for the fact my hair is short, but I’m the token female interested in females in the group so what can i say. Strangely that’s something not many people knew about me. I wasn’t in the closet, don’t get me wrong. No one asked, so i didn’t say anything. My sexuality isn’t something i need to announce to the world. It don’t expect my hetero friends to stand up and say “Hey! I’m straight!”

Lonnie Anderson, what a doll. I’ll admit I have a bit of a crush on her. I met her in gym freshman year. She was always so quiet and sat by herself, so my friends and I adopted her. She was average height, olive skin, brown hair and eyes, wore rounded glasses. She didn’t bother to style her hair often, usually leaving it hanging in loose waves down her back. I suppose to most people she wasn’t too special, but to me she was the most gorgeous person alive. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Always kind and relatively cheerful. She gave the cutest little homemade things for Christmas, and baked her friends cookies on their birthday. Everyday she would smile and say good morning to me before we went in to change. Even if she was crying...she would always try to hide her tears, smile and ask me how I was...

I grinned as I caught sight of her over the heads of people, on her way to our usual meeting spot. I snuck behind her, suppressing a giggle as I reached out to startle her. Then I noticed, she was hiding her eyes behind a vale of hair, her head bowed low. Even after changing my mind I suppose I did startle her because she cried out a little as I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder, bringing her to a stop. She quickly raised her head to look at me before turning it to the side so that her bangs fell in front of her eyes. She smiled, “Hey Rachel, how are you?”

She might as well have stabbed me in the heart for the pain those actions brought me.

“Are you alright?”

She awkwardly nodded her head, smile still remaining. “Of course,” she said quietly. “I’m fine.”

“Lonnie...,” I whispered as I reached out fingers to brush the hair from her eyes and reveling her tears. She started and glanced at me with frightened eyes before looking away again. “What’s wrong?” Someone bumped into my backpack as they pushed by. She only shook her head, biting her bottom lip. Half pushed together by the mob of students I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, pressing my face into her down-turned head. Her hair was surprisingly soft...

“It‘ll be alright...” I breathed into her hair. Its not right. People like Lonnie, shouldn’t ever be sad. My passive-aggressive self was a little frightened when I realized that if someone had put these tears into her eyes, whoever made my beautiful angel cry, ...I wanted to hurt them. I wanted them to feel her pain and the pain my heart endured every time she smiled at me through those tears. I died inside a little, every time she internalized her own pain to be happy for everyone else. I want to know what it was that made her cry. I want to hold her and make her sorrow disappear. I want to see her genuinely smile.

I felt the sea of students pressing against my back, cussing us for stopping in the middle of the hall, but I didn’t care. I kept them back and parted them for Lonnie, so she wouldn’t have to put up with those bastards when she was already so upset. And I want to do it always. I want to keep back anything unhappy in her life, and hold her safe in my arms forever.

“Don’t cry,” I gently kissed her forehead. She sobbed just once, clinging lightly to my blouse. “You’re breaking my heart Lonnie so please, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry...” she said tearfully.

“Don’t apologize!” I squeezed her shoulders tightly. “Jesus Lonnie don’t...”

I pulled away from her, glancing through the hall.

“Come one, we should get to class.” She nodded.

Leaving my arm around her I started guiding her down the near-deserted hallway. She turned her face into my shoulder as we walked. I could feel the blush burning on my cheeks. Even so, I pressed my forehead against hers for a minute. Maybe...

She sniffed hard and one fat tear ran down her damp, round cheek.

God what I wouldn’t give...to know what it was that makes Lonnie Anderson cry. Maybe then...I could finally find a way to make the tears stop...