Guardian Murderer

My chemical imbalances threaten

to throw me to the damned.

People say I’m crazy

because I march to my own drum.

There is a shadow that helps me (kills me)

with his blind suggestions and influences.

I stumble and fall to the depths of desolation

but I don’t stay there for long.

…

For the sake of my fantasies

I try not to come to terms with reality.

I keep her at arms length and only give her

half of my time.

…

Maybe if she were kinder to me

or gave me what I want

I’d be inclined to return the favour

and give her more of me,

but as it stands

reality is a bitch

and I feel much safer

with my murdering lover;

delusion…wraps himself around me

and calms my essence

with his charcoal wings

and smoky aura.

…

Like a guardian murderer

he stands behind me,

aiding me by being,

watching for me to fall

so he can laugh at my despair

and stab me with my subconscious.

…

He hates me, but won’t let reality in.

His razor sharp wings cut me (protect me)

with adoration.

He loves me, but won’t let me go.

My delusion, my love.

His blurred face

burns my imperfections.

With his hellfire he remains mine.

My guardian murderer.