Guardian Murderer

…

Chemical imbalances

threaten my sanity.

Apparently I’m crazy.

I march to my own drum.

My shadow helps me (kills me)

with his blind influences.

I fall

to him.

For the sake of my fantasies,

I refuse reality.

I keep her at arms length

and only give her

half of me.

If she were kinder

or gave me what I want

I might give her more of me,

But as it stands,

reality is bitter,

and I feel safer

with my murdering lover

delusion.

Like a guardian murderer

he stands behind me,

aiding my being,

waiting for me to fall

so he can laugh at my despair

and stab me with my subconscious.

His razor sharp wings cut me (protect me)

with adoration.

He won’t let me go.

My delusion, my love.

His blurred face

burns my imperfections.

With his hellfire he remains mine.

My guardian murderer.