Disclaimer: I wrote this story back in 2003. And it’s archived on my DeadJournal. No stealing!

Warning: Adult content. Why do I even say that…it’s like bait to people who should never read it! Blah! But I tried. L

Wanting & Fear

By MachaBadb

I feel so...

So tired...

I ache...

In places I never knew I had...

I feel...abandoned and unwanted...

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." Their lips met tentatively at first, and then they came together more ardently, wrapping their arms around each other, clinging tightly to each other, as if their very lives depended on it.

Sometimes...it feels too much to bear..

I feel dirty...

Unclean...

Abandoned and unwanted...

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to be gentle."

"You don't need to."

"I don't want to hurt yo--"

"You won't."

My head hurts...

Tears have begun to fill my eyes...

Abandoned and unwanted...

There was a jerking of limbs, a gasp and tears streamed from dark eyes.

I often find my mind wandering...

Wishing...

Hoping...

Praying for things that will never come...

Unwanted...

"I'm..." the dark eyes blinked. "I'm gonna...gonna..."

A heavy moan was smothered by another kiss.

And when I close my eyes...

I see things...

Pulling...

Pressing at my consciousness...

Wanted...

Two arms wrapped around the neck, holding on tightly, almost as if needing support. The dark eyes slide closed, beginning to pant heavily into the ear.

Telling me things...

Things to come...

Things I want...

Needed...

The back arched, teeth sinking into the shoulder, the body beginning to shake.

Things that I fear...

How will I get them...

How long is the wait...

Loved...

The grip around the neck tightened and pressure built inside the chest, almost as if constricting air.

Will I like what I get...

Will it be fun...

Desired...

When it could no longer be contained, the head was flung back, muscles taut, a groaning cry erupting from the wide open mouth.

I don't know...

And waiting makes me anxious...

Always has...

But I have learned that good things...

Infact DO come to those who wait...

Uncontained...

The grip of the arms loosened, the muscles feeling like jello.

So I'll wait...

Satisfaction...

"I love you." the dark eyes glistened.

"I love you more."