Chapter Four - Horror McStory

Ted McTeenboy and Billy McEveryteen stood facing the large, creepy house. Ted spoke, his voice odd with his thick chest but small neck. “Billy, you go around back and I'll take the front, we'll meet up in the middle and go upstairs.”

“Uh... Ted, why are we doing this again?”

“'Cause when we do, we'll be brave, Billy. Chicks dig brave dudes.”

“But chicks don't dig dead dudes.”

“Stop your whining.”

“Okay fine. I'll take the back.”

Ted looked around nervously, and tried the handle to the front door. It was locked. Ted's future with chicks wasn't about to be threatened by a locked door, so he rammed his foot into the old wooden door. With Ted's weight and the age of the door, the door splintered inward and shot open, slamming into an old hat rack next to the door, disrupting the cob webs. Ted's footfalls creaked loudly on the hardwood floors and he creaked his way across the gloomy living room. Ted began hearing creaks behind him that he had not made. He jerked his head, but didn't see anything. He found a door on the far side and crept toward it. It was partially open, and a web had formed on the crack in the doorway. He pushed the door, and it creaked loudly with the movement. Ted stepped forward into the room, and then took two paces before bumping into the bed. He squinted his eyes against the darkness of the room and groped at the walls for a light switch. He flicked one, but the bulb burned out with a fizzle. Ted then heard a haunting sound, the door of the room creaking. Then he heard it shut.

“BILLY!?” He asked, puncturing the stagnant air in the room.

He continued walking, and found another old door. This one creaked marginally less. He slipped it open and stepped inside a long, thin room. He slapped at the wall, and eventually found the light switch. He flipped it up, and the light came on, and didn't burn out. He was in the bathroom. He turned to the door and thought he saw an ethereal blue light outside the doorway, but as soon as his eyes focused on the spot, there was nothing there. As if it faded with a gust of wind. The image was burned in Ted's head, which was further assisted by the haunting laugh he heard from behind the door. “BILLY? I'm gonna get naked and take a shower, what's goin' on man?” Ted discarded his clothes and stepped into the shower, but for which reason he didn't know why. He heard the haunting laughter again, right as the light to the room burnt out. He never heard or saw his own death coming. The roof collapsed on him in the shower.

Billy looked around, having heard his name echoing from the front of the house. Probably Ted, he thought, convincing himself he had no reason to be scared. Sure... Ted. Billy crept into further into the house. He peered at the back door, confused as to the fact that the door itself wasn't there. It was just an open doorway, but he knew there had been a door there. Suddenly, with a groan and a crash, he heard a part of the house collapse.

Billy needed no more excuses. He turned tail and fled from the room, screaming in horror, and for his life. Billy fled around the house and toward the front gate screaming like a child. When he approached the gate, he felt a cold chill down his spine, as if the area suddenly became sealed. Billy understood why when he slammed into a a blue barrier, bouncing him off of the unknown energies and depositing him onto the cold muddy lawn. Billy turned back to the house, staring at the broken door. He felt a voice in his head, urging him into the house. The voice of reason in his mind was gibbering wildly, screaming sentence fragments along the lines of “GET OUT AWAY RUN AWAY” and “RUN WHILE CHANCE HAVE BEFORE TOO LATE,” but the little voice in Billy head continued urging him into the house. So instead of forcing his way out of the field, much to the disappointment of his voice of reason, Billy walked toward the house as if in a trance.

Blue lights seemed to haunt the corners of the house as Billy approached the door, but they seemed to flee whenever humans grew near. Billy stepped inside the house, apprehensive. “TED!?” He shouted, in search of his compatriot. If Ted was there, he made no reply. Billy blinked, unhappy at the turn of events. He peering around the living room as best as possible in the hazy moonlight, but could see little.

Billy decided that exploring the downstairs was a bad idea, mostly because he heard haunts creeping around down in the unknown hallways, making creaks with every haunting step. Billy took the stairs in a nervous rush, continually peering behind him as if a ghost were behind him, stalking his every movement in the house. He arrived at the top of the stairs and turned forward, leaving his hawk-like watch on his back for a sight he wished he hadn't seen. He was greeted with an ethereal blue light less than three inches from his face. His shout grew high-pitched and thready, and he fell over backwards down the stairs. He slammed into the wall before the curve of the stairs and padlocked his gaze toward the ethereal light, glowing and floating hauntingly at the top of the stairs. It floated unmoving from its position. After three seconds of labored breathing and stillness, Billy suddenly felt extremely stupid. He got back up and went to the top of the stairs, parting the blue light. He turned to the curtain over the stairwell and felt extremely foolish for confusing a transparent curtain for a ghost. The curtain did glow with a fair amount of light from the windows on the second floor. Billy turned toward the long hallways and walked slowly, making sure not to stupidly get scared by something harmless again. He turned to a small plaque on the wall. The plaque commemorated the house to an old catholic priest named “Johnathon McHaunted IX”. Apparently, the house's nine generations of ownership stopped with old McHaunted, 'cause there were no more kids to pass it along to. Billy felt a pang of regret for owning a mansion when your last name is “McHaunted,” but it was a fairly nice looking house. Billy turned to the hallway and was greeted immediately by another blue phantom of light. Billy assumed it to be another curtain until this one spoke. “Boo.”

Billy jumped, nearly out of his skin, and turned to run down the stairs toward the front of the house. He made to the front door with a haste previously thought impossible when the old house made a deep groan, and the doorway collapsed.

Billy turned to the banister at the top of the house and yelled, voice high and thready, “WHO ARE YOU!?”

“Why I'm old McGhost, and I'm the last person you'll ever see.”

“Try and stop me!”

Old McGhost didn't have to try to stop Billy, because the house fell on him.