Can I Help It?

I think they enjoy this.

Hearing me cry myself to sleep every night.

Hearing me talk myself to sleep on nights without tears.

Watching me squirm as they tighten their reigns.

Watching the tears roll down my face in silent submission.

Yes, I’ve made some wrong choices in my short life.

However, loving him was not one of them.

He just might be one reason why I am still here.

Where would I be without him? God only knows.

He has talked me out of a lot of stupid stuff.

But he’s been taken away from me.

Who will talk me out of killing myself now?

Just who do they think had that role?

I know they are trying to protect me,

But they don’t know what kind of role he had in my protection.

They don’t know why he’s my best friend.

He’s like a brother to me.

But do they know that? No.

Would they believe me if I told them?

No, of course not. It would be manipulation to get what I want.

And they’re too smart for that, aren’t they?

Yes. Way too smart to let their firstborn daughter save her life.

Too smart to believe the truth among all the painful lies.

Because the truth goes against what they want.

They have disregarded the Bill of Attainder.

They have specifically rejected one person because he is his father’s son.

Just because he showed signs of actually loving me for who I really am.