My friends won’t let me be depressed so I have to vent in this story… Sorry if it upsets you.

To Aeslehk: Yes, I know it was a short chapter last time and I apologize, but this story sort of has short chapters… Thank you for being such a good supporter of my stories! Your stories are awesome, by the way!

To Lalaru: You’ve read mostly all my stories, haven’t you? Well, for that I’m am extremely grateful, but I still don’t feel comfortable with sending you a lock of my hair…

Hatred

He had always thought that hate was a strong word and should be used lightly, but Genji was sure that he hated his life. His father refused to look at him and his mother barely spoke to him. When the poor woman ever got the courage to, she sounded as if she was talking to someone she barely knew. Rokuno… Rokuno was a different case entirely. He wouldn’t look at – or speak to – him. In fact, whenever Genji walked into a room, his younger brother fled.

Genji rarely left his room now. He sat in it practically all day watching television on his small TV set. He read the few books in his room a thousand times but still would not venture out of his closed domain in search of other reading materials. He barely spoke at all lately and retreated to his room to sob every time he saw his younger brother run away from him.

He knew that every time he walked into the kitchen for some food and his parents stopped speaking abruptly that they were talking about him. He hated it and couldn’t handle facing the neglect his life harbored each day.

Rokuno knew that his father wasn’t extremely religious and that that was why they rarely ever attended church, but when he heard his mother say that what his brother did to him was going against God he knew it must be bad. His mother was religious but hadn’t ever before brought religion into their life because of her husband’s views – to go that far for her was almost shocking.

His father wouldn’t look at his oldest son ad that frightened Roku, knowing how much his father cherished his first born. He himself was more of a Mama’s boy. His mother babied him and he knew it. Occasionally, his parents would argue a bit over that fact but not very much so when they both acted the same towards Genji it was surprising and Roku was lost in what to think.

If his mother and his father didn’t speak to Genji, should he still do it? They didn’t look at him, either. Should he stop doing both? Confused, Roku went with his gut and followed his parents’ example. Now, he wouldn’t even stay in the same room as his brother.

That didn’t mean he didn’t care, though. So, when one day Genji didn’t leave his room at all, he began to worry. Then, the next day, Genji didn’t make any sound at all, even in the early morning when Rokuno knew his brother visited the restroom.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?” she asked as she sat down at the table to eat lunch.

“Genji hasn’t come out of his room.”

She was silent for a long moment and her husband answered for her.

“You know your brother, Roku. He’s probably just studying or something. He’s a good student.”

Was his father complimenting the son he wouldn’t look at?

“Dad… He didn’t come out of his room yesterday, either,” Roku pointed out.

“What?”

“He didn’t come out of his room yesterday, either,” he repeated.

His father glanced at his wife, and after a moment he rose and picked up his plate, walking out of the room. Rokuno followed him, wanting to make sure his brother was all right, and his mother trailed after him.

His father opened Genji’s bedroom door and dropped the plate of food he held as he stared at the sight of his dead son.

Genji’s body was sprawled out on the bed, blood pooled around his neck where he had slit his own throat. His eyes were wide open and his tortured stare rested on the ceiling. His mother began to scream as her husband ran from the room to find a phone and Rokuno continued to stare at the bloody sight.

Slowly, with tears slowly dripping down his cheeks, he approached the body and reached out to touch Genji’s cheek, pulling his hand back at the feel of his cold, clammy skin. Next to his brother’s body lay two envelopes. One addressed to their parents and one to him. Roku grabbed the letter addressed to him and shoved it in his back pocket.

“ROKUNO! Get away from him!” his mother began to scream. “GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

It sounded as if she was telling him to stop picking on his brother but he obeyed and returned to his mother’s side as she clasped onto her baby boy and held him close. His father came over to them and reported that the police and an ambulance was on its way and his wife began to scream again.

“AMBULANCE? THAT WON’T HELP HIM! THAT WON’T HELP MY POOR BABY! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

Its both your fault, Rokuno thought. Its my fault, too. His father was pulling his mother to him and hugging her tightly as he walked her downstairs to wait for the police. He closed his brother’s door and slumped against the wall, sitting down and pulling out the letter his brother had written him.

Roku,

Hey baby brother. I’m so sorry it had to end like this. I loved you so much but I ended up hurting you. I couldn’t handle the rejection afterwards, though. Please don’t think of your big brother as a coward for doing this. It was my only choice. I couldn’t live like this anymore.

I’ve felt so horrible since the night I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, you know. I’m in love with you, Rokuno. Even after death, I’ll always love you. That’s why our relationship would’ve been so great. We wouldn’t have to get married and vow ‘till death do we part’ like every other couple. We could’ve make our own vows and love each other even after death!

When I touched you like that, it wasn’t to bully you – it was because I wanted you so much. It was a horrible thing for me to do by forcing you, but I couldn’t hold myself. I love you so much.

I love you, Rokuno.

I really do.

I always will.

Genji

Rokuno sobbed in the hallway as he finished the letter. He loved his brother, too. He had been so horrible to him, though, and drove him to this.

He sat I the hallway sobbing until the authorities came and someone forced him up and led him to his room when his mother pointed out his room.

I’ll never see you again, will I, Big Brother? He thought as he curled into a ball on the bed and clutched the letter against his chest.