---

This is my first multi-chaptered story. Constructive criticism is encouraged but if you can't be bothered (understandable) just letting me know what you think or if you're reading is greatly appreciated. This chapter is fairly short, because it's fairly introductory. Other chapters will be longer, but I can't promise 10 pages.

---

Chapter One

---

“Jake, I already told my parents that you’d be there! You have to come.”

I glance up at my roommate to see him rolling his eyes. “Well shouldn’t you have checked if I was available before doing that?”

“I assumed that this would be important to you!” the girl’s voice whined, echoing throughout the flat thanks to the speaker phone.

I chuckle quietly to myself, far more amused than annoyed at their latest argument and slowly allow myself to sink back into my book. As entertaining as their fights are, I secretly pray that they’ll kiss and make-up soon. Despite his ‘couldn’t care less’ exterior, I know that Jake will be shattered if they break-up and honestly, I can’t be bothered to make sure he finds a cab and doesn’t try to drive himself. The drinking part however is inevitable. In any case, Amy’s great for him, definitely not your stereotypical blonde and I can understand his physical attraction, despite not actually having it myself.

A man’s voice cursing outside alerts me to the fact that Andy, our other roommate is home. As fun as he is, I know I wouldn’t put up with half his shit if it wasn’t for his mum’s habit of buying me expensive shoes for Christmas. It must have something to do with her country being shaped like a thigh high boot. I’m just sad that Andy didn’t inherit her excellent culinary skills. You can’t have it all.

“Luke, we really need to get that door hinge oiled or something. It takes about five shoves to open the damn thing!” Andy whines, sounding almost as bad as Amy.

“Someone obviously needs to start heading to the gym more often if you can’t even handle opening a door,” I tease and we both know I’m bullshitting. He’s about two steps away from looking like a bodybuilder.

Flipping me off he says, “I thought that hideous screeching sounded like Amy. Wait, don’t tell me. They’re fighting again.”

A particularly loud screech of ‘But it’s important to me and I’m your girlfriend!’ reaches our ears.

“You say that like they stopped fighting.” I say and look at Jake to see that he’s off the phone.

“My God,” Jake’s pale grey eyes narrow as he heads toward the fridge. “Women.”

Quickly getting up and sprawling myself across the recently vacated couch I proudly announce, “I wouldn’t know.”

Andy scoffs. “Some of your pseudo women are worse than the real kind.”

“‘You did not just laugh at my fabulous pink leather pants you homophobic arsehole!’”

I can’t help but snicker at Jack’s hand on hip pose, he makes a convincing Dylan. You couldn’t call Dylan the most original gay or the most comfortable. Though, he’s definitely better than day time TV.

Still snickering I do my own, “‘Luke, you’re a disgrace! You’re not really gay unless you have AIDS and wear rainbow striped shirts!’”

If there was ever a guy who thoroughly lived the gay stereotype, it was Dylan. I’m sure he and Carson would get on beautifully. Or maybe bitch-slap each other over who looks better in diamantes. He’s so uncomfortable with his sexuality; they can see it from space. Along with the rainbow bracelet that’s permanently strapped to his wrist. Flamboyant, I can handle. People who become flamboyant only after coming out? Not so much.

“He hasn’t been able to get AIDS yet. Real pity,” Andy deadpans.

“It’s probably his lifelong dream. ‘Now I can be a gold member of The Gay Club!’” I sit myself upright on the couch. “Well, despite his complete and utter lack of what many would call personality, I still bet, through no experience of my own, that he gives better head than Amy,” I finish with a smirk.

Andy gives me a ‘Cut!’ and I raise an eyebrow at Jake, who unfortunately, is still looking smug.

Sadly, he doesn’t take the bait. “When Amy’s given you a blowjob, get back to me and we can have this conversation.”

Andy however, wants to keep it alive. “Oh come on mate, everyone knows that gays give the best head.”

“We teach porn stars how to do it,” I say, trying to conceal my grin. “And you can’t deny Dylan’s sexuality. Even the worst gays are better than girls. We know what we want; women just don’t know how to deal with the little guys like men do.”

“I’d rather practice abstinence than have to deal with Dylan when I woke up in the morning,” Jake says, voice dry and seemingly uninterested.

“Well, Dylan is probably the only gay guy that would want to screw you. What with his ‘must make every man switch teams’ scheme,” I say, laughing because apparently he actually had something like that going on back in high school.

“Don’t act like you can talk Luke,” Jake retaliates, no irritation present in his voice. “Your tall, dark and handsome thing didn’t get you a date for tonight. And even Dylan wouldn’t screw you.” Part of which is true. Dylan despises my unwillingness to pin up gay rights posters around campus. I can’t say I’m craving for his sexual attention though, so it’s no loss to me.

“You obviously haven’t met Lawrence yet,” I shoot back at him, my voice triumphant. I get off the couch and head over to him, lowering my voice, “I assure you, he gives better head than Amy. Speaking of which, he should be off from work by now.” Smirking at the sight of his eyes widening, I take a swig of his Crown Lager and walk out the door, the sound of Andy laughing at our antics ringing in my ears.