Never Sit Down In Front of a Vietnamese Noble

By Edith Lightfoot

Grab, Rinse, Scrub, Dry. Grab, Rinse, Scrub, Dry. Monotonous tasks allows the mind to wander, allows it to tell a story.

Who would guess that two weeks ago, I’d never left Australia and now I’ve left and returned. Who would guess that two weeks ago I’d never seen real poverty and now I have. Who would guess that all this can change in an extraordinary two weeks.

“Can we please not stay at the air port for six hours? If we’re already in Kuala Lumpur why can’t we actually see it? How can we be in a country and not actually be in it, anyway?”

“Edith, 5:30 AM here we’ve been up for what, 25 hours straight, and you want to be an international traveller right now?”

“Yes.” I reply blatantly to my sister.

“Girls, stop niggling at each other, we’re all tired just sit down and wait for Lesley and Wayne.” Nadia, Alix and I roll our eyes at Nanna just so she can’t see and sit down. Dad returns looking tired and annoyed,

“Edith, take the video camera and go have a look at the toilets.” Nadia and I looked at each other quizzically then head off in the direction of the toilets, while thinking it’s sort of sad to be running to the toilets for excitement. Lights, camera, action this squat toilet became an instant star.

6 hours later, we were walking down the stairs and onto the plane that would take us through our last leg in our journey to Hanoi, Vietnam. After an amazing trip through Kuala Lumpur with a very patriotic Indian-Malaysian guide.

Finally we’d made it to Hanoi after 36 hours of constant travelling, but right then lack of sleep was the least of our worries, We didn’t know how much English anyone knew and we definitely didn’t know any Vietnamese (we had guide but pronunciation was very near impossible), we couldn’t see any westerners. The Asian – Western ratio was about a million to one. Wayne as a seasoned traveller decided to brave translation and succeeded easily, turns out the airport security guard lived in Melbourne for two years.

Our first day in Vietnam happened to also be the first day of Tet, the New Year’s holiday, which also meant that all of the shops and most restaurants were closed, which for tourist isn’t that helpful. We quickly decided that our first day was perfect for tourism. We woke up and headed for the Old Quarter by Taxi. We learnt quickly that Taxi drivers generally knew what you were talking about if you waved your arms, pointed at a map and spoke loudly.

The Old Quarter was amazing. It was also the place were dad was conned into buying the first of many packs of postcards. It was on the edge of a lake and each street had only one thing in it and you knew it because the street was named it. 5,000 Dong sounds like a lot of money then take a look at the exchange rate and you’ve got yourself 50 cents Australian. The entry to most temples to was 5,000 Dong and there is no exception for the Jade temple.

The Jade Temple was filled with people worshiping, incense, people giving luck money, incense, statues of gods incense and a very large tortoise. The Jade temple wasn’t really a temple it was pagoda. Temples are for worshiping heroes and scholars, a pagoda is for worshiping gods. To see a tortoise on the first day of Tet is said to bring good luck, and there is good luck coming my way, while at the Jade pagoda we saw a living tortoise, it was small but it was a tortoise.

Ho Chi Minh was an old Vietnamese president, he is a hero to everyone in Vietnam and he’s dead. His body has been stuffed by a Russian taxidermist and is now preserved in a glass box guarded day and night. All Vietnamese people are suppose to pilgrimage to see Ho Chi Minh in their Lives.

We didn’t get to see Ho Chi Minh but we did have an enlightening experience. When we arrived at the mausoleum no one told us that Ho Chi Minh was in Russia at the time, being re-stuffed. While we waited for the mausoleum to open, Nadia and I sat down and almost instantly a whistle was blown at us. We got up quickly, and stood and waited. 5 minutes later another couple sat down, the whistle was blown but they didn’t notice, the whistle was blown again but this time the guards gun was raised the couple got up and left quickly. Lesson Learnt: Never sit down in front of a Vietnamese noble.

That night we planned to go out for dinner, we realised that we hadn’t crossed a road on foot yet and this was going to be the first of many crossings. The roads in Vietnam were intimidating, 10 lanes of bikes and a few cars that will take up 4 lanes coming from both directions with the only road rule being HONK, is intimidating. After 10 minutes of standing on a roadside we realised that there wasn’t going to be a gap and that we just had to go. One of the frequent one person pulled wagons of bamboo polls began to cross the road we followed in its wake and all 6 of us made it across the road, without incident. After we had crossed a few more hectic roads we found a little Japanese restaurant. We had an interesting meal involving sushi, rice and raw fish. It was the best food of the entire trip and it was also the most variety of the trip. Ordering a drink was always complicated if you had anything other than beer or canned soft drink there was always something to remember. For tea and coffee, Hot or Cold, Milk, Sugar, Fresh milk or condensed milk, Normal tea or strawberry tea! For Juice Hot or Cold, Sugar or no Sugar.

And then, after all that just to top of the meal you had to deal with the exchange rate.