Burning

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Burning inside,
overflowing.

Not wanting to speak,
not wanting to keep quiet.
I need to talk,
I need to let go,
I need to speak.

I want someone to understand me,
I need someone to listen,
I want someone to hear,
to feel,
to hug.

There's pain,
there's darkness.
I don't want to leave,
I want to stay comfy
where I know each crack
and
crevice.

The darkness is my friend,
it knows me better
than
I know myself

The darkness is my friend,
the anger my home.
Happiness is tolerated,
welcomed at times when anger is bust,
But in the end
anger returns,
and the darkness
comforts.

I want to be happy
but it's so hard.

The darkness beckons
with tendrils
of sweet repose.

Will I ever get there?

Where 'there' is
I'm not quite sure.
I want to be there so bad it hurts
I want to be happy
enclosed in my bubble of darkness.

When will I get there?

I know it exists.
When will I get there?
When will I find it?...