Circles Inside Myself

A thousand what-ifs,
running to and fro
inside my head

Where do I go from here?

Do I make it seem as if
nothing has changed, even though
I know nothing will ever
be the same?

Do I keep on going with
this mindless charade
of avertying my eyes
at all costs, and
not saying a word
when there is so much
to be spoken of?

I want to run up to him,
to look him straight in the eyes
and tell him everything,
but I'd love even moreso to
retain my dignity at the same time

What the Hell am I to do
when my heart,
my circle, is
on the line?

Written 1/11/07. An explanation of the circumstances revolving around this poem: I told the guy I like that I like him, and now I become a babbling pile of mush whenever I'm around him. I want to talk to him, I really do, but I'm still afraid.