Chapter nine: Nine is a funny word. Think about it.

It was morning at the studio, and there was a mad scramble for the shower. Anna physically removed Samantha from the bathroom, who had arrived there first, and told her to do the plan and call thing, because they didn’t have much time before brunchtime, which was generally anytime from eleven to eleven-thirty.

Samantha grumbled, but did as the giant bid her, and Sophy camped outside the bathroom door, hoping Anna would finish before Samantha did. She did.

“Ow!” The door swung open and hit her.

“Um, word to the wise— “Anna began.

“Shut up and get out!” Sophy exclaimed, running into the bathroom and slamming and locking the door.

“Hey!” Samantha ran to the bathroom, still on the phone, and shouted “I was next! Get out of the bathroom!”

“Too late! I’m naked!” Sophy laughed triumphantly, washing her hair.

“Sorry about that Zach. Yeah, at eleven thirty…” The voice trailed off as she got farther away. Sophy took a record-breaking shower and walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She walked down the hall, stuck her head and shoulders into the living room and told Samantha she was out.

“Whoa!” Jake said.

“Augh! What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick you up. Why don’t you get dressed?”

Sophy ran back to her room and went through her clothes hastily with trembling fingers. She found a black bra and clean underwear, and threw on her favorite pair of ratty jeans with authentic holes in the knees. She pulled on a black, plain men’s undershirt and blow-dried her bangs. The rest of her hair she scrunched with a little mousse, because she did not have time to straighten it. She put some make up on and her high top charcoal grey and navy blue pinstriped converse and grabbed a grey purse that she transferred her wallet, which was her dead grandmother’s silver cigarette case, and her keys and lip gloss into from last night’s clutch.

She ran out the door, ran back in and grabbed a dark navy blue sweater and spritzed herself liberally with her perfume and ran out again.

She found Jake on the couch with his cat in her lap.

“Isn’t she precious Sofia?” he asked.

“I think so,” Sophy answered. “Why so early?”

“It’s not so very early. It’s eleven-ten.”

“Yikes! Hey,” she bellowed. “See you there!”

Anna called something back, faintly, and Samantha was in the shower, so they shrugged and left, Sophy grabbing a green apple and a peach from the fruit bowl.

“Still obsessed with peaches, huh?” he asked, his mouth full of apple.

She didn’t answer, because she was too busy wiping her chin and trying to eat at the same time.

When they arrived they sat in the parking lot in silence, finishing their fruit. Then Jake opened her door and grabbed her hand, pulling her out once again.

“You look very nice,” he complimented.

“You do too,” she answered, looking him over. He was wearing fitted brown pants and white converse with a white tee shirt.

He met her lips briefly before slipping an arm about her waist and walking to the restaurant. Samantha had made reservations, but they were slightly early anyway, so they sat and waited.

Jake found himself replaying last night after they left the girls’ studio.

Clark got his girl talk.

“So, what happened with Sophy?” he asked, as soon as he was in Jake’s apartment.

“Oh, you know. We’re going to get married.”

“WHAT?”

Jake peered at him anxiously. He hadn’t even reacted like that when Clark said he was marrying Candice, and circumstances were slightly better.

“That’s great! I didn’t think that would ever happen!”

“You think you know me…” Jake sighed.

“Well, you weren’t going to try and get back with her, what changed your mind?”

“Zach changed my mind, actually. Not to mention that it would be really cruel to just step out of her life a second time.”

“Zach?” Clark asked. “When did you talk to Zach?”

“You were probably off with Candice,” Jake said, lightly. “He’s applying for the post of bachelor best friend.”

“Ha, ha. That’s not fair. Zach doesn’t even like Candice.”

Jake kept his mouth shut for a full minute, wondering if he should say anything. Oh, he just had to! “Have you generally found Zach to be a good judge of character?” he asked, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

“Yes, always.”

‘He’s not making a connection, is he?’ wondered Jake.

“Except for Candice,” Clark amended.

Jake sighed. “Ok, goodnight, Clark.”

“Goodnight.”

“Oh, hey, I’m taking Sophy to brunch tomorrow, so I’ll be leaving around eleven or so, and then I’m gonna ‘meet the parents’ so I won’t be back until late.”

“Ok, I think I’m gonna sleep until one or two. If you wanna leave a key, I’ll lock up when I leave.”

Jake reached into a cupboard and tossed him the spare. “’Night.”

“Yup,” Clark yawned.

Jake was jolted out of his reverie by methodical tugging on the hair at the back of his neck.

“You’re falling aslee-eep,” warned Sophy.

“If you don’t stop that I am going to fall asleep,” he said drowsily. The fingers stopped. He cracked an eye open. “That doesn’t mean stop.”

Grinning, she resumed pulling his hair until the James’ arrived with Josh.

“Good morning,” Mr. James greeted them.

“Hello dears,” said his wife.

Josh nodded, sleepily.

“You look so happy, Jake!” Marie told him.

“Sophy n’ me ‘r getting married,” he told them.

“Don’t you sound enthused?” David joked.

“Congratulations!” Marie squealed, hugging them both.

The James’ were definitely morning people.

Josh also congratulated them.

“Why are you so tired, didn’t you guys go to bed early?” Sophy asked Josh.

“No, they didn’t,” answered Marie. “They stayed up until about four this morning playing Clark’s old Xbox.”

“How many Xboxes does Clark have?” Sophy asked, frowning.

“Well, he left his Xbox home when he went to college because he took his Xbox 360,” Josh roused himself enough to speak.

“Ohhhhh,” Sophy replied.

That explained why the rest of the guys were late, and all came in groggily. You could tell, by looking at the various levels of hair wetness, the order in which they showered because they hadn’t bothered to dry their hair at all.

Samantha and Anna arrived shortly after, looking very put together compared to the rest of them.

‘It only took them forever,’ Sophy thought, rolling her eyes.

“Okay,” Samantha said after they had their food. “Anybody know where Clark is so we don’t have a nightmarish repeat of dinner?”

“Sleeping at my place. Said he’d be there ‘til one or two,” Jake volunteered, shoveling pancakes into his mouth.

“Great. I wanted to go around the table and state our thoughts and various opinions about the best way to go about this so we can form a united front. I’ll start.”

Samantha thought Candice was the weak link here, due to the strength of Clark’s misplaced loyalty. She thought it was a better idea to try to make Candice think life would be miserable being married to Clark than try to make Clark realize it would be miserable to be married to Candice.

“Because, honestly, if he doesn’t know, he never will figure it out until it’s too late.”

Sophy wrote on her napkin: “1. Samantha: make Candice cry off.”

Christian, on her right, agreed with Samantha, and looked at Damien, on his right.

Damien swallowed the food in his mouth and also sleepily agreed with Christian and Samantha.

Sophy wrote “2. Chris: see above. 3. Damien: see above.”

Mrs. Clark looked thoughtful before speaking. “You know, as much as I was worried about Candice and my son, and I appreciate you all doing this, I have motherly faith in my son’s intellect, and I think Clark will snap out of it, even if it’s right at the altar. So I don’t really have any suggestions aside from making sure the things we plan don’t make Clark get defensive and try to protect her from us.”

They all looked thoughtful, and kind of guilty. No one else had that much faith in Clark’s intellect.

Samantha wrote: “4. Mrs. J.: faith that Clark will snap out of it on his own. No suggestions but for subtlety.”

Mr. James was next, and he illustrated that he did not, in fact, share his wife’s loyalty. He favored subtly encouraging Clark to think badly of Candice, be it by contrasting Candice with his mother, other comfortable wifely figures, etc.

Samantha wrote: “5. Mr. J.: make Clark think badly of Candice by contrasting her with the perfect wife figure.”

Jake took a drink of water and said that he thought Clark could be brought around by continuing to allow Candice to look bad. She didn’t really need any encouragement, but by acting surprised and mildly miffed, as they had done last night at the movies, they could really make an impression on Clark.

Samantha wrote: “6. Jake: steal Anna’s idea of allowing Candy to look bad by acting martyred and miffed about it.”

Jake was reading her notes and said: “Hey!”

Sophy looked up and found all eyes on her. It was her turn.

“Um…I suggest splitting into groups of specific concentration, albeit a ‘make Clark look bad to Candice group’ of one or two, a…ok, I don’t really have an idea.”

Jake grabbed the pen from her and wrote “7. Sofia: failed attempt to steal everyone’s ideas because she has none of her own.” After admiring his long piano/guitar playing fingers, she read the napkin, grabbed the pen back and cuffed him on the shoulder.

“No, I think that’s a good sub-idea,” Anna said thoughtfully. “It would be best to have people with goals and certain expertise in certain areas. Like I’m sure Mrs. James has the best embarrassing Clark stories, and would fit under the make Candice cry off group.”

Sophy wrote: “8. Anna: steal Sophy’s fabulous idea because Jake stole hers.”

“I’ll take notes from now on,” Jake said, taking the napkin and pen from her. She grinned at him cheekily.

AN: yeah, that was a laughable place to end, but this chapter’s fatiguing me mentally, and it was getting too long anyhow.