Her...

"Hey look! Is that one of the twelve apostles?"

"Nahh I thinks it's just a random rock!"

I mumbled without paying any attention to what my cousin was pointing at.

The truth was I didn't care whether it was an apostle or not! Seeing those stupid rocks six times was enough for me! I didn't need to see them for the lucky seventh time; as a matter of fact I didn't ever want to see them again.

One thing that's bad about living in Victoria is the lack of places to take your visiting relatives.

It was either,

The Great ocean road – A real exercise for the driver's hands!

Twelve apostles – Random rocks in the middle of the ocean

Warrnambool – Whales and such!

The Grampians – mountains and a pathetic waterfall…

Philip Island - to see some tiny penguins

Or Lakes entrance – to go to some fucking caves!

There's simply no where else to go. And because we have many relatives visiting the "lucky country" We are stuck taking them to all of these places, one after the other!

Honestly I personally think that due to the lack of landmarks and tourists attractions in Victoria, the Government finds anything vaguely decent looking; sticks a board up and demands money from unsuspecting tourists!

Currently we were acting as tour guides to my cousins from Sri Lanka. What a bore it turned out to be. I mean seriously they couldn't even speak English properly! Not that it was a huge problem seeing as I could still fluently speak Sinhala. But every time I spoke to them in Sinhala I sounded mentally retarded! I had developed an accent during the nine years of residing here. It wasn't my fault. Maybe it was because I used English more frequently, I am forever speaking in it at school for 7 hours or more everyday!

"Akki! Akki! Look! That has to be one of the Apostles"

"Hmmm"

"Hey look a dead cat, ewwww it's all squished and everywhere"

I took a deep breath, Snapped closed "One for the Money", Turned to face the cliff side of the Road and closed my eyes.

"Oh my God just eat something! Or you'll faint in the middle of the day"

I grabbed a piece of bread and darted out the door.

I was late. I had promised my father that I would be there on time. I saw my mother running out of the house holding my briefcase. I gave her a quick kiss as I grabbed the case, and jumped into the car.

"Straight to the factory Simon"

"Yes sir"

I wound the window right down and looked out. I was greeted by a cool ocean breeze. Fishermen were getting ready to go on their daily trips into the vast ocean, to make a living and put food on their children's plates. There were fewer fishermen now than there was before the tsunami hit. The angry seas had scared many of them away.

The smell of rotting fish hit my nose which prompted me to close the window immediately. Closing my eyes I realized I had a huge day ahead of me.

After a few minutes I opened my eyes again. I was still looking at the same fisherman, but now some other guys were helping him push his boat into the water. I realized we weren't moving.

"Simon what's the delay?"

"We seem to be stuck in some traffic sir"

"Can't you take another route, I'm extremely late, and you know how grumpy daddy gets when people are late"

"Sorry sir, it's too late to make another turn, we're almost there, just 5 more minutes, damn hurry up!" Simon honked the horn twice

I sat, my head against the chair, enjoying the cool Air-conditioning. Someone tapped on my window. It was an early morning beggar.

"Dear Sir, please spare me a few rupees to feed my children"

"Hmmm"

"Please sir! I lost my arm and damaged an eye in an accident"

Oh my god! Who do these people think I am? A charity case? Swearing loudly at the beggar I turned the other way to face the buildings towering over me.

I decided to start something new. I based "her" on some of my characteristics and opinions and him...well i dont know what exactly made me write about someone like him...So i hope you enjoy this introduction to the story of "him" and "her"...keeping in mind i am totatally gramatically retarded!