Summary: Slash - I’m not crazy. Just because I’m stuck in a tree with no memory of how I got there; hang around with crazy …things… that sing and dance and grant wishes; faint regularly; and have voices in my head, doesn’t make me insane. Not really... And while traveling with a strange, blue monkey; a small fairy that grants wishes; a talking parrot; a flirtatious Nymph; a young boy; and three singing Musimon’s, I can easily just sit back, relax, and watch the chaos unfold. That is, until the chaos transforms itself into a full out war zone…

Warnings: Course Language, slash/yaoi/malexmale stuff. Etc…

AN/ New Story. If you don’t like it, get out. No, no. Jokin’. :P

I’ve had trouble with this summary. I’ve had two choices for summaries, and the decision was difficult, but I made the choice anyway. So I’ve fused the two summaries together. :)

Please enjoy.

Stuck With You

Chapter 1
Hysterically We Meet

Okay, I’m not the kind of guy who carefully sets out a map down on his desk, takes out his pencils and thoroughly scribbles every little detail of his planned-out life - down to the date of his retirement. Obviously that kind of painstaking organization is way beyond my reach. I can’t even make a shopping list for my mum, let alone the direction I think my life will take. How the fucks can anyone expect me to know exactly what I want my life to be like?

Exactly.

You can’t mess with logic. Only I can.

…

…this is probably why logic never agrees with me.

…

Anyway, this leads me to my point. I’m not an organized kind of guy, but somewhere along the way, I definitely couldn’t foresee this. I am, in some miraculous way, stuck in a tree. Not just any tree, mind you. A purple tree. Yes, you heard me right: a purple tree.

Now, aside from this tree being purple, unstable, and really, really, really BIG, there are also these monkey’s living in here too. I’m currently sitting on the largest branch of Mr. Purple, eight strikingly blue monkey’s watching me curiously from above, bellow, and six different other directions, and I’m steadily getting more disturbed as the time passes.

I mean sure, as much as I love being stuck in tall purple trees, being poked and watched by blue monkey’s and inspecting the spiders crawl up my arm, I’d much rather be…

…

Oh fuck

…

SPIDERS!!!

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” I shriek suddenly, flailing my arm around furiously to rid it of its arachnid friend - though the relationship between my arm and this huge, hairy spider must be deeper and more complex than I had originally thought, considering this spider seems to be clinging to my arm like its life depended on it.

Jerking away from the spider once it had decided to transfer itself to a much quieter, much more stable, much saner object; I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with it by trying to squish the stupid thing with my backpack, and when that idea failed miserably, I merely resumed stepping further away from it, slowly and carefully; I didn’t want to fall to my death just yet, okay, so I was backing away from it at a crawl. Not to mention the branch is only getting thinner.

Holy shit I’m gonna fall! And I’ve still got years of my life to screw up.

And gods dammit, get this fucking spider away from me!

The worst part about being backed onto the thinnest branch on a purple tree by a hairy spider - that’s scariness was the equivalent to a nine point three on the Scary Scale - is watching three monkey’s come to the rescue by jumping the arachnid and ripping it into shreds, then devouring it with shinny white teeth and speedy red tongues. Watching them mush the black spider into a green, bloody paste and then licking it off their fingers made me cringe in complete disgust.

…I think I’m going to be sick.

I wanted to speak my thoughts out loud - just to make sure I hadn’t swallowed my tongue in utter disgust – when something silver and shinny caught my eye.

Now, I’ve never been the kind of person to turn up the opportunity to touch something shinny and pretty, with the added bonus of fleeing from the evil monkey’s, so why would I change the kind of person I am now?

Exactly.

Cautiously I crawl towards the shinny thing anxiously and warily; I have more of a chance of falling to my death than actually reaching the shinny thing…

Hm… I don’t like those odds.

Apparently my luck does, because my luck has decided to screw me over once again. My hand slips from beneath the branch a yard before I reach the shinny thing. My weight easily collaborates with gravity so efficiently that I find myself unable to hold back the scream as my feet follow the rest of me down the tree.

My arm burns with pain as it connects with another branch, followed by my stomach. I groan in complete agony as my mid section collapses on another branch. Miraculously, I’m still in the tree. I hadn’t fallen far, but it’s enough to ensure many bruises when I reach the ground.

“Owie…” I whimper – pathetically, I might add – and stagger slowly and carefully into a perching position on the branch. My uninjured arm can’t decide whether it should nurse my sore arm or nurse my bruising stomach. It decides for both, holding tenderly to my injured arm, which is held to my stomach.

Brilliant.

I’m going to be so sore in the morning.

I glance up slowly. Now is probably a good time to check everything out. I’m still in Mr. Purple (both to my dismay and utter relief), though now the shinny thing is hidden from my view. Dammit!

Okay. For this job: logic and rationality is essential. Hm... I should find myself a better job. Never mind. I’ll try. First off:

Who.

Who am I? I’m Aaron, duh. That’s not too difficult.

Next:

What.

What am I doing here? Big question. How the fuck should I know?! Great. That wasn’t any help.

Where.

Uh…where am I? I don’t know. I’m in a purple tree - that much I’ve gathered.

My eyes flicker to my surroundings. Bellow I can see soft grass, a few little bushing and a path not too far away. I’m aware that I’m on a hill, and I have a good view of the scenery. There’s a huge tree sticking out from somewhere many miles away. There also appears to be a river running through the forest, and then the mountains. Unfortunately, I can’t see past the mountains. This leads me back to square one. I still have no idea where the fuck I am.

When. When what? Is there a question for when? When…did I get here? No idea. I’m still as I remember me. I’m still in my baggy black pants, black shirt and hoodie. Hm… this…leads me no where.

Why.

Why am I here? Well, I don’t believe in destiny, so this question is pointless.

How.

How did I get here? This, I suppose, is another one of the big questions. I couldn’t have just… fallen from the sky, into the tree… could I? No. I didn’t think so. Then how?

Fuck this.

Grudgingly I move my feet around the branch. My arms slowly lower me down into the branch bellow with great difficulty. My pants got caught on a twig, and so did my hair, my arm is stinging like crazy, and my stomach is finding this kind of intense movement to be way too much to handle. My feet eventually touch the branch bellow, which I’m hoping is sturdy enough to hold my weight, and I slowly let go of the branch above and lower myself down. I wobble a little, but I’m relatively unharmed – sore, yes – but unharmed.

I chance a look down. I don’t seem too far away from the bottom. I repeat the procedure with less difficulty, and find myself hovering only a few feet from the ground.

It’s probably not safe to jump… I don’t want to injure any more of me.

Unfortunately, I never got a chance to lower myself down, because it was at that precise moment that one of the blue monkeys decided to jump me.

To put it bluntly: I went down screaming.

My legs hit the ground first, followed by my midsection, and then my head. I don’t think anything is broken, thankfully, though I’m quite sure I’ve doubled the amount of bruises and the amount of soreness I’m going to be seeing and feeling tomorrow morning.

Bummer.

“Owie?”

I glance up sharply.

“What the fu-”

“-Owie!”

I can only stair up in slight horror - and confusion - at the hyper, retarded, strange blue monkey (the one that jumped me) grinning at me.

“Owie!” it repeats happily, it’s voice childish and not quite of this world. That’s right, owie. It caused an owie…

It jumped down beside me, reaching a height of one foot, and waves it’s hands around excitedly, yelling, “owie!” more and more.

My left eyebrow twitches annoyingly. “Shut up,” I grumble irritably. Stupid fucking blue monkey…

“Shut up?” it mimics comically, head tilted slightly to one side.

“Yes, shut up,” I repeat to it slowly, grinding each word out, using my hands to indicate what I was saying. It stared at me strangely, like a child who was anxious to learn, and that’s when I realized it.

“What else can you say?” I asked after it told me to shut up twice. It looked at me strangely, and at my lips as they spoke. She (I’m assuming. Anyone this annoying must be female.) attempted moving her mouth the same as me, trying to repeat what I was saying.

“wha ese c’n you shay…? Wha else c’n you shay? What else c’n you shay,” she kept repeating the words, trying to feel if it sounded right on her tongue. After a few tries she jumps up with glee, arms waving about excitedly.

“What else c’n you say!” she squeals happily, her voice so odd and difficult to describe. This is odd. Hm…

“My name is Aaron. What’s your name?” I ask her slowly, watching anxiously as she followed my lips move. I point at me, and then at the question I pointed at her.

“’y name is Aar’n,” she mumbled, more to herself than to me, pointing at herself. “What your name?” she points at me then.

I laugh lightly. Not exactly right, but she’s learning.

I shake me head. “No, no.” I point at myself, “me Aaron.” Then I point at her. “What’s your name?”

Her head tilts slightly, somewhat confused, and then her crimson eyes brighten in realization. She pointed at me, “Me Aaron.”

I clap, which made her jump in delight.

I point at myself again. “Aaron.”

She points at me. “Aaron,” she mimics. I nod, and she shouts out my name some more. That’s one smart monkey.

“You need a name!” I shout out suddenly. She looked at me curiously, bouncing up and down. I’ve become aware that loud noises encourage her, so I should keep the loudness to a minimum.

Remember Aaron: only shout and clap when she does well.

Hm… all this…happiness… I sicken myself sometimes. Ugh.

“I know!” I was jumping to my feet in no time, oddly excited. For some reason, making a name and friendship with a hyper blue monkey seemed greatly valuable and somewhat significant to me. Odd, that. “I’m gonna call you Ona!”

“Ona!” it shrieked happily, bouncing up and down with the energy of a small child. I suppose, in a certain way, Ona was very much like a child – though dumber …and more willing to learn.

Whatever.

-----

Ona and I have been wondering around aimlessly for quite sometime now. After a bit of that, we thought it best to stick to the path and let it lead us to wherever the hell it wanted to. So that’s where we are now currently; treading down the path slowly, Ona perched merrily on my shoulder (she doesn’t weigh a damn thing. Lucky bitch) laughing hysterically.

On our way Ona had offered me these purplish berries to eat, which then lead to some real stomach pains and a very long toilet stop. My stomach still isn’t very pleased with her. We’d also come across this… blue and silver…rock…? Stone…? Well…you get the point. It was some sort of hard thing. This then lead to Ona wanting to take it with us, which lead to a lot of arguing and childish name calling on my part (as well as some nonsense dribble, which sounded quite offensive on her behalf) - and then it lead to the argument about whether the chicken or the egg came first. I, of course, said the egg. I’m pretty sure Ona was saying the chicken…or she could have just been very hungry. Either way, the argument ended and the question was solved when Ona stuffed the rock in my back pack and continued down the path.

…I’ll never understand females.

TBC…

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AN/ Please Review. I hoped you enjoyed it.

--Kyle’s Precious Little Girl