Chapter1-

February 14… Valentines Day… September didn’t know what he was going to do. It was morning and he was preparing for school.

“Sept, baby how are you this morning?” His mother said, peaking through his bedroom door.

“Fine ma, just getting ready”

“Ok Hun you want anything special for breakfast?”

“No thanks” he answered, buttoning up his nicely curved jeans. It was supposed to be a cold day. But September couldn’t feel any colder in his heart.

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The tune that blared out of the Ipod speakers was mellow and acoustic. It made September cry (when he was overly emotional and alone in his room) September made a habit of never showing weak emotions in front of anyone… because weak emotions gave someone the upper hand to take advantage of you. The ride to school was bland, the weather was just… eh, and as that tune began the saddest part of the song September felt a tear roll onto his arm.

“September baby!” Janice’ high pitched voice rang out, as he stepped from his car “Happy V-Day Boo bear…”

September hugged her, and smiled when she wiped a tear off of his face.

“I know its hard today hunny, but your gonna get through it… you never know what you will find on this special day…”

September sighed,” Jan, hun… I will not find anything ever again… I feel so lonely right now”

“Baby… I am here with you…”

September looked at her, a new wave of silent tears dripping down his face

“Your not him…”

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All through school September smiled at people that smiled at him. They all knew that his partner had been dead and that today was hard for him (even the bullies didn’t bother him) September believed that all in all people were (generally) kind…

“Happy Valentines Day Everyone!” The Principles voice boomed over the intercom, as the last bell of the day rang “We have no messages for today, only to wish you all a safe night and to be careful.”

Everyone in September’s class laughed, except September. He wasn’t doing anything tonight… nothing but sitting alone and crying… (and thinking about it the tears already began to well up)

September never considered him self ‘emotional’, never considered himself ‘pansy’, but he felt those right at this moment. As he got into his car at school, the usual people said goodbye (but no one wished him fun on Valentines Day) September just didn’t know what to do.

It was nights like this one, when it was clear out and the moon was bright, that made September want to barf his guts out. He had never had someone to be amazingly romantic to him (not that his only partner wasn’t amazing, but September longed for the stories like the ones in his romance novels)
But September knew that knights in shining armor were non-existent and if they were only beautiful damsels got to have their fealty.

When September got home, he decided to have a good cry in his room (and he decided to take his ex lovers razor and try and find some answers to his hollowness)

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The razor was steal,

cold,

and inviting,

and September’s skin was soft,

warm and longing.

So they meshed perfectly.

September had never honestly cut himself deep (although he did enjoy cutting at his thighs from time to time…)

But this time, well… he was going to go all the way.

Because he was tired of living in his bullshit town, with a population of the size of a real high school, and was tired of being alone.

The blood came first,

the pain second,

the nausea and dizziness came third,

and the darkness, that slowly crept over September’s vision, came last…