THE DAY AFTER

The girl was sitting cross-legged on the dirty floor, her expression blank.

She had beautiful eyes. They were a deep blue, not unlike the early night sky when the first stars shone brightly. The natural serenity in them was calming; yet her sadness was clearly evident.

For a moment, the girl's eyes shone a little too brightly, and tears hung just at her eyelashes, sparkling like diamonds.

Then her expression hardened. The tears disappeared as quickly as they came, and her eyes gleamed slightly with a hint of hate.

Slowly she raised a knife to her left wrist. The knife gleamed in the streams of sunlight pouring through the window, almost as if it hungered for blood.

The girl looked at the knife for a moment, her expression unreadable.

Then the knife flashed as it cut through her skin. She cried out in pain as the blood streamed freely from the deep wound, dripping to the concrete floor. The knife slid out of her grasp and clattered to the ground as she collapsed…

Crestine awoke with a scream trapped in her throat. Her hair clung to her neck and face in tangles. She sat up, her eyes wide with fear.

Eventually the scream disappeared, and she started rocking herself back and forth, her head resting on her knees, blank eyes staring straight ahead.

Somehow, Crestine knew it was still dark. She wasn't able to look out the window, but she could still feel the darkness pressing in on her. She almost choked as it wrapped itself around her, compressing her lungs and filling her with a terrible apprehension.

Crestine fought the night, her arms clutching the bed frame as she slowly pulled herself out of bed. She shuffled forward a little awkwardly, one palm pressed against the wall nearby for guidance.

She sat onto the ground as she neared the door. Her floor was grimy, that she knew, for it had been years since she last cleaned it.

Crestine closed her eyes, trying to relax. But her heart was still pounding furiously against her chest, and the dream kept forcing itself into her thoughts and refusing to leave. It had been so vivid and intense, and… alive, somehow.

For years, she had been dreaming of different people committing suicide or murder. Always it had been full-grown men and women, but in some cases there had been children who looked to still be in primary school. Yet tonight… tonight was different. Tonight she had dreamed of a girl about her own age, a girl between adolescence and adulthood. The girl looked vaguely familiar, like someone Crestine had seen before.

But it was impossible. She could never have seen the girl before. And the reason was simple.

Crestine had been blind since birth. Her whole life was filled with darkness, like a black wall that stood between her and the world. No matter where she turned, the wall always turned with her, determined to block her from seeing the world.

Yet Crestine could see in her dreams. People and places, the sky and the earth – she could see them all in their coloured glory. They were like memories, pictures in her past that flashed through her mind. Almost like she was going back to her past lives, when she could see.

This greatly disturbed Crestine, however. True – she had always longed to see every colour that made up the world, every scene that touched and moved people; that had been her wish, her fantasy. But though the colours were there in her mind's eye, though voices had matching faces and expressions, the scenes she was forced to witness were more than unsettling.

This conflict of emotions always tormented Crestine. She had a certain respect for life, and she abhorred violence. Yet her longing to see the world was great and deep and intense, and Crestine sometimes found herself eagerly anticipating sleep so the dreams would come.

Now Crestine's eyes snapped open, staring without focusing on anything, her face void of any expression. Her heart was in pain, and she tried to calm herself.

I've seen all the emotions,

Heard all the feelings,

And life always pains me,

But I know everything will change.

Everything will change,

The day after life lives its last.

The day after the last light shines.

And everything will be alright.

Her heartbeat began to slow to its normal speed with the poem coursing through her mind. The poem, "The Day After", always stilled her soul. It spoke of finding comfort in life's dark side, and it brought immense tranquility.

Tonight, though, it brought her something else as well.

Crestine slowly reached a hand out, searching for the bedside table near the door. She had been eating fruits before turning in, and she remembered leaving the cutting knife on the table.

She found it, held it in her right hand. Then she moved, sitting in a cross-legged position.

She thought of the dreams, all fourteen years worth of them, and wondered if they were real. Wondered if they had happened before, or would happen soon.

Forget it, a small voice whispered in her head. Do you really want to know?

Right then and there, Crestine's eyes filled with tears; but she forced herself to hold them back. What use was crying if God made it this way?

Bitterness and hate was building inside her, like a slow fire that spread and grew until she was smothered in the flames. Bitterness towards the Lord for making her the way she was; hate for the world she couldn't truly see, for the dreams that taunted her with their vibrancy and cruelty.

Slowly she raised her right hand, the knife pressing heavily in her palm. She was unable to see where to aim; but, somehow, she knew she would get it right.

A single, fluid motion, swift and precise, and the blade tasted blood.

Crestine cried out, not expecting it to be so painful. She had thought it would be a dull pain, maybe even painless.

I've seen all the emotions

Heard all the feelings,

And life always pains me,

But I know everything will change.

Crestine felt the blood gushing out her wrist, heard it dripping onto the floor. She remembered the poem, recited it in her mind, like a prayer, a mantra.

Everything will change,

The day after life lives its last,

The day after the last light shines.

And everything will be alright…

The knife slid out of Crestine's hand and clattered noisily onto the ground. She fell sideways with a feeling of serenity. She was finally going to be happy…

Day had fully broken by the time Crestine was dead. The rays of sunlight streamed through her room, and the birds chirped happily outside. The trees dripped dew onto the grass, and the world moved on.