Actions speak louder than words

Actions speak louder than words... he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but she could feel his love for her. At least, she thought she could, because then, all at once, it all ended. Ending before even beginning.

Sarah couldn’t believe it when she met Keith. He was really good looking and he could dance like no one she had even seen before. She had gone clubbing for one hour because she had a friend’s birthday party before and she met him there on the dance floor. She just couldn’t believe her luck. When he kissed her it was like something she had never experienced before (though she wasn’t new to the kissing scene) and the way he held her made her heart melt right there and then. All too soon she had to go because her friend’s parents had come for them. They exchanged numbers and she left in a dreamlike state. Of course, had she known before that that night he had exchanged numbers with six other girls she wouldn’t have given him a second thought, but she didn’t know this until it was too late.

The day after, her mobile beeped and she received a message from him requesting her msn. She added him and they began chatting. She learned that he had been learning break-dance sometime in the past and that explained his dancing.

They started dating and soon Sarah was head over heels in love. But Keith didn’t want her to say those three words to him, those three words that to her meant how much she felt for him. He never wanted her to mention her feelings…his heart was as cold as ice inside… He said he was still heartbroken over his previous relationship, saying he was blinded by love, and when his previous girlfriend had left him for another, he was left all alone. Sarah never knew she would feel like this herself. Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t leave her for another girl… but he still ended the relationship…and all that she had thought once about the two of them together, became only a dream… a happy ending which was never to be realised.

Sarah thought that with time his heart could heal, and so she waited. It turned out only to be a waste of time. She should have known that everytime he looked into the distance it wasn’t because he was thinking of her, but because he was thinking of his now ex-girlfriend. He would always have that faraway look in his big, hazel eyes, those eyes which never showed love for her, but only hurt and fear, yes fear of another heartbreaking.

Is that why he ended it? So as not to be on the receiving end again? Sarah thought that at least he cared for her enough not to leave her all alone. Yes, she had her friends,… but they were still new to the dating scene and never knew what it felt like to be heart broken. Emptiness was all she could feel now. Whenever she was with her friends, she put a mask over her sorrow and smiled and joked, so as not to worry them… I mean, for how long can you stay depressed and hurt? One day they would get tired of her moping about and tell her to get over it. It was now more than two weeks since he ended it and she still felt empty… like she could never feel happy any more.

It was a fortunate thing that sometimes she could express her feelings with a pen and paper… somehow it felt better writing poems and stories than talking to people about her feelings. Was that a normal thing she wondered? She started writing a poem entitled ‘Emptiness’ and that’s exactly how she felt at the time… that’s how I felt. Yes, actions speak louder than words.

A/N: The poem ‘Emptiness’ can be found among these stories but I copied it below for convenience… enjoy! Btw that’s a true story…

Emptiness

Why this emptiness...

When I’m surrounded by friends?

Why this desperate need that I feel?

For love...?

For what?

I don’t even know!

I want

to cry...

to scream...

to die...

but will that change anything?

Will that make any difference?

Why am I living...

when I feel that

it would be better

to be dead...

To be unfeeling?

Is this what life is for?

To get hurt?

To get heartbroken?

Is life worth living

if everytime

I climb out of a hole

I fall into another one...

freshly dug

by my enemies...

by people in general...

unfeeling

animals?

And is life worth living

when that self-esteem

and confidence

that I had

so carefully

built around myself…

to protect me

is shattered in one blow

with only a couple of words

maybe even a look?

A couple of words?

“Is that enough?” you ask?

Yes, I tell you.

A couple of words

from someone I loved

who I foolishly thought

loved me back…

Yes, my dear…

a couple of words

are enough!

People may say I’ve changed…

I guess…

I have,

in a way…

But don’t worry,

my sweeties…

I think…

I will learn to love again…

A/N: Dedicated to my friends who have supported and still are supporting me though this difficult time. Thanks sweeties!