Closet Case

My closet/wardrobe/bureau-drawer is an ancient thing,
Smelling of Chinese rosewood and tradition,
Of custom and culture.
It’s placed proudly in the center of my room, picturesque and perfect, for everyone to see and admire.
Everyone loves how it appears,
But few bother to look inside.

Inside my closet/wardrobe/bureau-drawer, right inside the door of the closet,
There’s a spot where my mirror used to be,
But someone’s removed it;
It’s as if they couldn’t bear seeing themselves in the mirror each morning.

Inside my closet/wardrobe/bureau-drawer, my straight-laced suits and my grey uniforms form a wall
Of formality,
Of stiff propriety.
A wall of should-be’s and ought-to-be’s, and most importantly of must-be’s.
And sometimes, if you’re lucky,
A flash of color darts out between the small narrow
Spaces between the suits,
Like some colorful fish in a dark pond.

Further inside my closet/wardrobe/bureau drawer is a small space of warm solitude.
Quiet.
Comfortable.
Safe.
Shielded from the world, a full grown man could fit in this small space,
And no one would know he was in there.
No one can judge nor mock someone hiding in that tiny corner of the closet,
And he wouldn’t have to come out and tell them.
A man could hole up in that spot forever,
And no one would even know;
All they would see is the exquisite exterior, or at most the dark sea of suits and uniforms.

But would he be alive?

Would he be any different than some sightless creature in some cave under the ground, just surviving from day to day?

But somewhere inside my closet/wardrobe/bureau drawer,
Somewhere inside the man that hides there in darkness,
Someone is screaming.

Someone is screaming, yelling, preparing to fling that door wide open,
To throw away the suits and the grey uniforms
To revel in the dazzling rainbow of colors underneath,
To escape that small space in the closet forever,
To shout farewell to the sedative scent of mothballs and pull away from the closed embrace of darkness.
And only then,
Once he’s finished his victory lap,
To finally find that mirror and put it back,
To look at his reflection in it,
Smile,
And be at peace.