Look in the mirror and what do you see?

You see whatever you see.

Look in the mirror and what do I see?

I see a girl.

I see a girl.

A teenage girl.

A girl who needs to suffer

And prevents her happiness

With mental self-flagellation.

I do not like this girl.

She is weak

And has no confidence in herself.

She leeches compliments from others

To survive.

She dramatizes everything

And desires others’ pity.

She claims to hate attention

But she craves the wrong kind.

What a hypocrite.

She feels

That if she loves everyone but herself

It will be enough.

She is not a person

Merely a vessel to be used for the happiness of others.

This girl sickens me.

I would try to cut my way out of her,

But that would only release blood.

I can only aid her in her self-hatred

And speed my release.

I might be her conscience,

Or I might be her.

If I am her, I am the side she denies.

I am her tormentor,

Relentless and without mercy.

I am the side

Who drags her to darkness

In frequent moments of insecurity

And holds her there

‘Til she is infected.

She needs to see, with my aid,

How unfit she is to live

When she does no real good

And offers nothing

To mankind.

I plague her daily

With such thoughts of self-hatred

That it is a marvel

She is still alive.

I am winning.

I have convinced her

That her friends hate her

Her family hates her

Strangers hate her

The whole world hates her.

Loaded with such thoughts,

She cannot last long.

I see her eyes linger

On the knife, the aspirin,

And the second-story window.

I must push her gradually

Or someone may intervene

One of the many who care about her.

She must not know this,

Or my power will lessen.

So, slowly, so slowly

She will see her options disappear

Until only one looms strikingly

As she wanders

In her world of darkness.

Consumed by self-hatred,

I will convince her

That the only chance she has to be happy

Lies within

The tempting firearm.

She is stupid

To take me seriously.

But I do not believe

Her death

Will be a loss to anyone.

The only thing that may hinder me

Would be if the self-confidence she lacks

Were to rally itself and knock me out

Out of her mind, her thoughts,

Her life.

This must not happen,

But I fear it will.

If only people weren’t so agreeable,

So friendly.

I need my plan to succeed.