Author: Qzie PM
“I hate you, Holmes... I HATE YOU!” “Yeah... I know... I know... but there's a fine line between hate... and love.” --Edits coming in very, very, very slowly--Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 207,210 - Reviews: 559 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 12-25-09 - Published: 01-19-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2306941
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"What're you waiting for?"
You are invited to the wedding of
Joeri Joseph Anderson
Celia Inez Ambrosio
July 25, 2015
She thought it would be the happiest day of her life. She thought that everything would go completely according to plan. The place looked beautiful, her bouquet was beautiful, the flowers and decorations looked beautiful, her dress and hair were beautiful- pretty much everything was beautiful. And still, she was freaking out. "LEAAAAAAAAAH!" cried Celia, collapsing on her chair.
Leah sighed as she asked, "What?" She had been getting these cries of fear and panic the whole. Bloody. Day.
Celia wailed, "I can't do this! I'm not ready!" She shook her head as she started to cry, completely messing up her makeup.
Leah sighed and muttered, "Oh boy…" Then she barked, "CAOMHE! FIONA! GET OVER HERE!"
Caomhe and Fiona came out from the bathroom where they had been fixing their makeup before they had been rudely interrupted. "What's wrong now?" asked Caomhe dryly.
Leah explained, just as irritated as the other girls, "Apparently, she's not ready to get married."
Celia continued to cry, "I'm not! I look terrible! He's going to take one look at me and go bllerrrgh!" She sobbed loudly.
Fiona tried to console Celia, but her consolation came out rather abruptly. "He is not!"
Keiran peered into the girls' dressing room and asked curiously, "What's going on in here?"
"Keiran, get out!" yelled Caomhe at her boyfriend (nothing short of a miracle), now fully irritated. "We're having a crisis here, and we don't need someone as insensitive as you messing it up even more!"
Keiran raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically, "…Well, THAT didn't hurt at all!"
That's when Garrett looked into the room and asked, "Is everything OK?" He had heard Celia yell and cry all the way down the hall.
"GARRETT!" cheered Fiona in jubilation. "You have tact! Tell Celia she looks beautiful and that she's so ready, she's unready," she ordered.
"THAT'S THE POINT! I'M NOT READY!"
Fiona rolled her eyes and argued, "No, you're so unready that you're ready!"
Garrett blinked. "…What she said." Then he looked at Keiran and snapped, "Keiran, what the heck are you doing? You're supposed to be getting our food!" He groaned and muttered under his breath, "Idiot…"
Keiran glared at Garrett as he snapped, "I heard that! And I just wanted to see if the girls wanted food, too!" He looked at Garrett as though he was being the insensitive one.
"Chocolate. I need chocolate," said Celia in dead monotone, since chocolate was a perfect cure for depression, panic, and the scary time of the month.
Unfortunately, Joeri and Charlie came into the room as well, and Charlie asked, "Hey, Keiran, can we change our orders?"
Leah started to scream, becoming quite panicked herself, "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE! SHUT THE DOOR, SHUT THE DOOR!"
Fiona pushed the boys out of the room and suddenly, the door slammed shut on them. Then they heard a small click as if the door had been locked.
There was a brief moment of stunned silence.
Charlie blinked and, getting back to his and Joeri's original topic, "…So anyways, I want chicken nuggets instead of the burger-"
Joeri interrupted, "And I want to make that medium fry a large fry."
Keiran shrugged and said skeptically, "OK, but it's going to be awful hard to get a large fry through the door!" He grinned at his little joke.
The other guys didn't look amused at all and Garrett was forced to say, "…You're a dork…"
"Do you, Joeri Joseph Anderson, take Celia Inez Ambrosio as your lawfully wedded wife?"
Joeri smiled as he said, "I do."
The minister turned to Celia and asked, "And do you, Celia Inez Ambrosio, take Joeri Joseph Anderson as your lawfully wedded husband?"
Celia smiled faintly, although you couldn't see it very clearly as the veil was covering her face. "I do," she responded.
"Then by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you man and wife." The minister paused, probably for dramatic effect. "You may kiss the bride."
Joeri seemed a little sheepish as he lifted up Celia's veil, and they both felt sheepish as Joeri look Celia's hands and kissed her. It was just like in The Princess Bride, except real.
And they both felt even more sheepish as everybody started applauding and they heard Keiran wolf-whistle.
He might have to be shot later….
February 20, 2077.
She was never supposed to burn out this way. Not after Keiran- her dad- had died just months before, beaten out by Parkinson's. Evie guided her elderly mother into the doctor's office, where Dr. Albright greeted them warmly, "Hello, Caomhe. Evie. How are you today, Caomhe?"
Caomhe smiled and nodded, "Oh, I'm much better." She said that every time they visited.
Evie responded quietly, "She's OK."
Dr. Albright sighed the sigh she used when she was about to do something different. "I'd like to talk about Keiran today."
Evie panicked. Keiran had just died. What if Caomhe did remember? What if she broke down? She couldn't handle that twice! "Uh, don't you think that might be too-"
But Caomhe spoke up before Evie could finish her protests. "Keiran? I remember Keiran." She nodded solemnly. Evie was terrified about what she did remember of him.
Dr. Albright asked gently, "Could you tell us about him, Caomhe?"
Caomhe thought for a very long time before she responded, "He gave me a present in seventh grade…" She paused. "I used to hate him them, except I didn't, I just… didn't want him to know…" She shook her head. "So I never opened it… until…" She began to tear up. Evie started to get scared.
"Are you OK?" she asked.
Caomhe either didn't hear her or chose to ignore her. She smiled, but it was a heartbroken smile. "He remembered everything… isn't that amazing?" It was ironic. "He remembered that my favorite movie was Mulan, and that my favorite color was black because of the fire, and that my favorite ice cream was moose tracks…" This was probably the most that Caomhe had remembered all in one setting- it was incredible. But then she began to tear up again. "And he remembered that I used to like the snow… before…" She trailed off into silence.
"Before what?" prompted Dr. Albright.
"Before he got hit…" answered Caomhe quietly, flashes of red, white, and black going through her mind and she suddenly had a strong need to see a pure, deep green; she turned and looked into her daughter's eyes- Keiran's pure, deep green eyes.
Evie stood up. "I think that we should leave…" she said worriedly.
Caomhe shook her head and grasped her daughter's arm. "I'm fine… I'm OK…" She started to snap, "I told you, Holmes, it was a beautiful gift…" A tear rolled down her face.
Evie looked at her mother in worry. "…I'm not…"
Dr. Albright shook her head. "It's the Alzheimer's." She smiled calmly. "Why don't we pick up tomorrow and we'll see how she's doing then?"
Evie felt a wave of relief wash over her. "OK. Thank you."
"Hahahaha, I wish you were Jewish right now, Mongoose… hahahahahaha, MONGOOSE! Hehehe, my, hehe, my second cousin is Jewish, and we got to do this cool chair dance at his wedding and everyone was saying MAZEL TOV! HAHA, hey! Ha, that's like that one song! A blessing on your head, Mazel tov, Mazel tov, To see a daughter wed…"
Almost everyone seemed to have the same thought: "Shut up, Charlie."
Eloise hugged Charlie tightly. "Oh, Charlie," she sighed. "I love you… but you should never get drunk ever again." She smiled almost condescendingly.
"How many glasses have you had, anyways?" asked Celia in both concern and curiosity.
"Uh… um… one… four… two… THIS MANY!" Charlie held up three fingers and laughed like a maniac (frankly, it was starting to get on the others' nerves).
"Only three? You're a cheap drunk, Clementine," sighed Garrett. He turned to May and reiterated, "He's a cheap drunk and I just dare you to argue that." He couldn't help but be satisfied at the way May smiled and shook her head- a clear sign that she thought he was funny. Garrett's inner seventh-grader whispered, Score.
Charlie grinned sheepishly as he slid his arms around Eloise. "Hehe…" They were probably never going to let him drink again.
"Speaking of which, Caomhe, you haven't been drinking anything that Keiran's given to you, right?" asked Fiona, who had heard a diabolical plot that Keiran had conceived earlier that evening (also when he was just about as drunk as Charlie).
"Of course not," answered Caomhe with a laugh. "How stupid do you take me for?"
"We don't," replied Leah. "We just take Keiran for an evil genius." She grinned.
It was at this time that Keiran came up to the group, giggling and laughing and holding a glass of what appeared to be Pepsi in his hand, and he immediately brightened when he saw Caomhe and his words just seemed to fall all over each other as he said, "CAOMHE! Angel, you want some Pepsi? You look thirsty!"
Caomhe rolled her eyes. "No thank you, Keiran."
"Are you sure?"
Caomhe nodded and without missing a beat, she replied, "Absolutely. I haven't been so sure of anything in my life."
"Aww…" Keiran sighed. "OK."
Joeri rolled his eyes and ordered, "Stop trying to get Caomhe drunk!"
"WHAT? How… how dare you in-sine-you-ate that I would… I would do such a thing!" laughed Keiran.
Benny turned to Fiona, the sparkle in his eye that usually preceded a smart-alecky comment. "You grew up with these people?" It almost sounded like he was going to laugh.
Fiona smiled brightly. "Yep!" she chirped.
Benny laughed. "Well now I know why you're so weird," he teased.
"Hmm… doesn't leave much of an excuse for you…" Fiona shot back playfully.
Eloise looked at Charlie, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "And here I thought only Keiran was insane," she chuckled, taking a sip of her water.
Meanwhile, Celia was muttering under her breath, "I don't want wine, I said. But you have to have it, Chella-Bella, she said! Remember Uncle Alfred, she said! He gives his best speeches with a glass of wine, and don't you want Uncle Alfred to give a good speech? And you only get married once, unless you're Aunt Cleo… Oh why do I listen to my mother…" Her musings and regrets were interrupted by Leah, who cleared her throat loudly, capturing Celia's attention.
"Hey, Chel, just curious…" Leah paused for dramatic effect, "When exactly are you planning on throwing that thing?" She grinned innocently.
The chucking of the flowers had completely escaped Celia's mind, so she was very grateful that her cousin had reminded her.
"You know, I've always thought that ever since sixth or seventh grade that our lives have been very dramatic and extra-funny, so if you ever wanna write a book about us… oh, she's throwing the bucket! I mean her giant thing of flowers!" Keiran pointed out to Fiona, who wasn't really paying attention to him because she was talking with Benny. Of course, Keiran's outburst caught the crowd's attention and Celia was nearly trampled (particularly her Aunt Cleo, who had pushed her way to the front, yelling, "OUTTA MY WAY, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!").
"Aunt Cleo, give someone else a chance!" snapped Celia. "You're always getting married!"
This slightly embarrassing statement had the immediate effect of Celia's aunt shrinking far back into the mob.
Celia looked to be slightly afraid of them, so Leah, Fiona, and Caomhe had to encourage her, "Just throw it!"
She didn't throw it that far, plus it didn't really help that she was closing her eyes, but when she did open them, Celia was a little more than surprised.
She was stunned at the irony, along with several other people.
"Er…" Caomhe stared at the flowers in her hands, looking between Celia, Keiran, her friends, Joeri and Celia's families, and she cleared her throat nervously, laughing forcefully. "Well. This is funny."
Everybody else surrounding them was smirking broadly. Fiona was silently chanting, "Caomhe and Keiran sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"
"Well, uhh…" Keiran cleared his throat loudly as he looked between his friends, Joeri and Celia's families, Caomhe, and the bouquet, "…it looks like you're next!"
Caomhe laughed. "Yeah." Then she did something so surprising that even she was surprised that she did it. She pressed the flowers into Keiran's hands and she asked softly, "Keiran…" He paused. "You know all those times I left you hanging?"
Keiran looked Caomhe in the eye, green locking in on brown, and he nodded silently.
Caomhe smiled, her heart beating at a hundred miles per hour, as was Keiran's. "Well… I won't anymore. I can't anymore." She bit her lip. "Cuz…" She hesitated. "I…" She swallowed hard, and with every bit of courage she had, she finally admitted it. "I love you."
Then the clincher, everybody thought, was what Keiran said next, and that clincher is where our story will end, dear reader, even though it was really just a beginning for them all.
"I knew it! Let's get hitched!"
Oh my word, it's the end.
Thanks to everybody who's been reading, and thank you to Ariel of Wonderland, Fleeting Moment, CaveDwellers, lovefantasyworkreality, LovelyxXxDreams, urjellingcauseimevil, o0felixfelicis0o, and Random Word Artist for the reviews!
Now I'm hearing the credit music again...
Be on the lookout for Duct Tape Fixes Everything!
Today, I have an e-butler to take your orders for whatever food your heart desires. :) Enjoy and thank you so very much for reading. You guys make my day.