Away From Here

By,

Rachel Hansen…

this is for the boy that broke my heart and then put it back together, then broke it again…it’s written for a lot of reasons, one of them being so I didn’t cut that night, so though I wrote that I cut, I didn’t, and I haven’t for almost four months now…

Tonight I went away from here

To a place not close to you

I thought of all the pain I feel

Of all the pain you inflicted

By just being there for me

I needed you there

And you were

But why couldn’t you just say

The three words that used to be true

I put myself out on the line for you

Disregarded everything I thought I knew

And lost myself in the words you spoke.

The kisses left on my lips

Are forever in my memory

The words you spoke that rang so true

Forever in my heart

You’re a reason that I was there so long

You’re the thing that kept me living

But I never wanted to care about you this much,

I never wanted to depend on you,

I didn’t want you to make me want to see tomorrow

But you did, and now I’m lost

I’m lost in all the pain you left

The words I never got to speak to you,

Go through my mind every day.

My memories of yesterday,

Flow through my body as easily as blood.

When I learn how to hate you,

I’ll be better.

When I don’t need to think of you,

I can say that I’ll be sane

But for now I’m gonna hide in the dark,

Razorblade in my hand,

To make the scars that were left inside.