The Speed Dating Experience

Michelle sat at the café table nursing her wine glass and swirling the red liquid within. She stared at the man across from her with a half-lidded gaze. His hair was scraggly blonde and came down past his shoulders. His green eyes seemed to be perpetually glossed over, as if he had smoked something illegal before arriving.

“Hi, I’m Chuck! What’s up!” He started.

Michelle just raised an eyebrow at him before glancing at the timer. I can’t do this… She stood to leave but was kept in place by a hand on her shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Krystin, her housemate and one of her three best friends, questioned.

“Um…home?” Michelle answered hopefully.

“Fat chance, sit down and be nice to Chuck.”

Michelle sighed, “Fine, fine…” She took a sip of her wine and watched Krystin go back to the corner where both Melissa and Stephanie sat chatting together and simultaneously keeping an eye on her. Melissa caught her watching and flashed a victory sign before returning to her conversation.

She turned back to Chuck and forced a smile, “Hi, I’m Michelle. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in any sort of contact with you. The only reason I’m still sitting here is because my friends won’t let me leave.”

Chuck nodded slowly as if digesting this information. Then he smiled and spoke again, “So, do you surf?”

“You do realize the only reason I haven’t jumped this table to harm you is because my friends are watching, right?”

Chuck looked shocked at this news, “Your friends are watching?”

“That’s it, this timer better ring before I’m forced to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt me?”

Ding

He is so lucky that bell rang, Michelle said to herself. She looked at her next date as he moved to sit down. He had short brown hair and coke bottle glasses. Freckles adorned his face and his outfit was somewhat disheartening. He wore suspenders attached to his gray pants and a long sleeved red shirt. He smiled shyly at her and waved meekly, “Hi…I’m Steve.”

Michelle sat silently for a moment, “…Would your last name happen to be Urckle?”

Steve blinked, “Uh…no…why?”

She shook her head, “No, no reason.”

Steve nodded slowly, “So…do you come here often?”

“No, I have a life. But my friends say I need a boyfriend to mellow out.”

“Mellow out?”

“Apparently I work too much. Or, as Krystin likes to say, you’re like a baby on crack. Not the most effective description, but it works.”

Steve paused, “I…uh, guess so.” Another pause, “So are you-“

“No, I’m not on crack you –“

Ding

Michelle glared at Steven and he scurried away as she tried to burn holes into the back of his head. Her glaring was interrupted as Krystin sat down across from her and folded her hands in front of her face to hide the ever-so-obvious smile she wore.

“So, how’d it go? Find anyone you like yet?”

Michelle blinked, “Where’s my next date? And what’re you doing on the guys’ side of the table?”

“He had to leave and that’s not important. Now, did you find anyone you’re even remotely interested in?”

Michelle sipped her wine in contemplation, idly spinning the peach slice in her glass, “Hmm, well, I was remotely interested in…harming Steve,” She paused, “What really happened to my next date?”

Krystin sighed and leaned back in her chair, waving her hand around as she spoke, “I accidentally slammed the guy’s hand in a door. He was sent to the hospital. There was much blood involved.”

Michelle gained an almost giddy look about her and clapped her hands, “Open wounds are fun,” The smile she wore could be described as nothing less than malicious.

Krystin raised an eyebrow, finally noticing the slight tint of red on her friend’s cheeks, “Yes, they are…you’ve been drinking haven’t you?”

Michelle picked her peach slice from her glass and ate it as she contemplated her answer, “Perhaps,” She answered slowly.

Krystin sighed and looked like she was going to say more but that ever annoying Ding interrupted any hopes of a conversion with her slightly buzzed housemate.

Michelle smiled dazedly as she watched her next date walk up to her table. He was handsome with short black hair and blue eyes that danced with hidden mischief. He sat down before her and offered his hand.

“Name’s Evan.”

“Michelle,” She answered, shaking his hand.

“What brings you here?” He asked.

“Friends who say I need to get laid,” She jerked her thumb towards her friends who sat there content to watch her dates. Stephanie raised a sign that said, “You go, girl!”

Michelle sighed in resignation; “I’m going to need to hurt her later…” She turned back to Evan, “What about you?”

“Same,” He pointed towards a small huddle of guys, each with a beer in hand, giving him a thumbs up, “They say I need to loosen up and a girlfriend would be the perfect thing.”

Michelle nodded, “I hear that…all the time.”

“So, since we’re sitting here, obviously against our will, we might as well act the part.”

Michelle nodded again and leaned forward after downing the rest of her wine. She smiled widely, “So what’s your favorite color? Hobbies? And please tell me you have a job.”

Evan smiled in response, “Blue. Computers, writing, and drawing. And yes, I have a job. I’m an architect.”

Michelle gasped and, if possible, her smile became wider, “Will you marry me?”

“I don’t marry until the 5th date.”

“You…you…” She sighed happily and leaned back in her seat, “Wow, just when I thought all the good guys were gay…”

Evan chuckled, “I’ll take that as a compliment,” He glanced at both of their groups of friends and leaned forward on their table, “What do you say we leave and go have some fun elsewhere?”

“Like…?”

“I don’t know. How’s the boardwalk sound?”

“Sounds like a date,” Michelle smiled and stood from the table, taking Evan’s proffered arm. They walked out chatting amicably and their friends cheered. The cheers were something along the lines of:

“Woot! Go Michelle!”

“You get her, man!”

“It’s about damned time!”

And the ever famous, “I need another beer.”

At the end of the night Michelle had unintentionally found herself a boyfriend and was escorted home.

Michelle approached the front door warily, knowing full well what lie behind it and, more than likely, the ears that lay pressed against it. She smiled at her date, “Tonight was great, Evan. I didn’t know you could have so much fun at the boardwalk.”

Evan returned her smile, “It’s all about your choice of company. I think I did good in choosing mine, what about you?”

“I think you chose well, too.”

He leaned forward for a kiss but Michelle’s finger on his lips stopped him.

“You don’t marry until the 5th date. And I don’t lip lock until the 3rd.”

“Really now?”

She paused, “Kind of,” Evan raised an eyebrow, “A lot of my previous dates barely made it through the first date, let alone the second.”

Evan chuckled, “Well, how about me? Did I make it through the first date all right?”

“You did better than all right but we’ll just have to see what happens on our second date, huh?” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek, “I better get going. If I leave those three leaning against the door any longer I’ll have to get it replaced.”

Evan laughed and nodded, “I understand. How soon do you want to do this again?”

“How’s tomorrow work?”

“I’ll pick you up at 8,” Michelle smiled in response and Evan kissed her forehead, “Sleep well.”

Michelle watched Evan walk away, admiring the view, before she opened the door and was subjected to a multitude of questions courtesy her housemates.

The questioning followed her into the kitchen where she picked a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. When it was clear that they were going to get no answers, and that Michelle was going to pass out from having one too many glasses of wine, they decided to escort her up the two sets of stairs to her room where she promptly passed out on her bed with a content smile on her face.

Her friends let her sleep with the promise of more prying in the morning…after she got her morning coffee and was coherent of course.

-----

-TheEcho-of-Violet Rose