Nevermind

It’d been a good year--she couldn’t deny that. Last night was over, so what was in store today? Oh well, let it unfold…

Chapter 1

“Smells Like Teen Spirit”

“Wake up. It’s KZ-420 and it’s now eight o’ clock.” The DJ said as he cleared his throat. “If you’ve found yourself waking up in a self centering pit of your own misery wondering what’s left in your drug induced coma you call life--party! Alright!”

There it was. Those were the exact words Tori needed to hear to just wake up and go. The bowl on her nightstand remained packed and still a little resin covered. She needed a nice burn to get past day one. Her BIC was out, so as soon as the bowl was read, nothing happened.

“You fucker.” She said.

“Well, the traffic is packed like a pipe at a Hippie movement, BOB!” the DJ exclaimed.

“Oh, in foreign news. Nothing happened today. Nope. Today everyone is not doing much.” Bob replied.

“Far out!”

“Lighter… lighter…” Tori fumbled past her paraphernalia and pile of random shit. Nothing…. Nothing… “Ah!”

She found her BIC before smoking the bowl with haste. Stoned, she decided to just head to the basement and see what was up with the traveling old hermit--Snooty Mc Flaven-mooch. Snooty had been up all night with her mirror sliced to the rim with an artistic line of coke that resembled a sun. It looked so Hippie, and she’d spent the past four hours working on it.

“Skimmy ol’ mofo budda layin’ is da bomb.” Snooty exclaimed before snorting the whole thing in one pass. Her head was in a rush as she went down the mirror just smiling and bobbing her head left and right. “Agah, skim ol’ jackin’ me up, tightly…”

“Yo.” Tori said as she hit her carb. It was quite common for her to just walk in on Snooty. She happened to be Emo, and Snooty was just an old burn out that has been following her around since God knows when.

“Banin’ them ol’ goodies. Shckin’ up onja man.”

“Huh?”

“Onja, shackin’ meh up.”

“Oh, I almost lost ya.”

“Chiba-chiba mono me gusta, burrito.”

“Yeah, I know--it sucks.”

“Sham on ja manja me an’ em, eh? Eh?” Snooty said with a laugh.

“Yeah, gay, I know.” Tori said with a little smirk.

“Swiggity swag man, smokeh smokey?”

“Yeah!” blurted Tori. “Last night I got a deal on some acid.”

“Bam anah!” Snooty exclaimed with a high five.

“Yeah!” Tori shouted back with a high five before doing a quick head bang. “Wooo!”

“Yo. We came fo rthe acid.” Tori said as she stood in the cold just trying to warm up.

“Oh yeah.” Herbie snapped as he pulled out a tin.

“Yomo?” Snooty asked.

“Yeah, it’s good acid. One hit will totally blow your world away. I’ve taken 16 since this morning, and I got a job interview in one hour, so here. That’ll be fifty bucks.”

“Wow. Wait, I’m broke.” Tori said with a doped out voice. A tumbleweed blew past as everybody just sat stared at each other.

“Well then you’ll have to pay me somehow.” Herbie said as he looked at the tin.

“Choto mah ero-ero.” Snooty said as she snickered.

“What? Like I’m gonna suck it for some smack!” Tori said. “What can we do?”

When she said that, a car sped around the corner and on instinct Herbie was frightened, and then he threw the tin at Tori along with the mescaline.

“Cops! Inhale that shit now!” Herbie screamed.

Tori forced three sheets of acid into her mouth before chugging the entire bottle down with almost ease. It was some hard shit, but she then shook her head.

“Oh wait, that’s not a cop. False alarm.” Herbie said as the car drove past. “I can’t believe I almost made you eat all that stuff. Thank Buddha!”

“I just took it all.” Tori said as she looked up at him shocked.

“Ohouhouhouhouhouho!”

“What?”

“I gotta go. Good luck!” He sped away while Snooty stared blankly into the distance in udder amazement.

“Am I gonna die?” TOri asked.

“Naw.” Snooty replied as she lit up a cigarette.

“Oh man, I’m fucking dying!” Tori cried as the world around her melted into a puddle.

“Nippirt tsuj ruoy wan.” Snooty snapped back.

“What?”

“Huh?” The two were back at home trying to think. Tori was tripping balls so bad that at this moment she honestly thought she had a pair. Everything changed. She stood up and at that very moment everything kicked in even harder. Little midget people that resembled small Japanese school girls began to walk into the room with their pig tails straightened up on their heads. One began to flap it’s pig tails before flying up to her and smiling.

“I’m freaking out!” Tori gasped in fear.

She immediately took her shirt off and watched as both of her breasts inflated like balloons and separated from her body. Her pants then dropped to the floor as her body became string. Both of her feet turned into small shoe-shaped balloons while her hands puffed up like elastic gloves at a Howie Mendel standup special. The school girl creatures turned away from her as she soared across the room. Still thinking she was a balloon, she rammed her head into a wall, causing her to enter a concussion which soon put her into a drug induced coma. Whatever would happen next was beyond her…