What’s hollow? What’s hollow? Hollow is being devoid of all feelings and emotions. It’s the uncertainty of wanting what you can’t have. Losing sight of your place in life. Yet aren’t we all hollow then? Don’t we all sit down and pray at night? We pray to know our reason. It wasn’t my fault he left. Just like my father it was outside forces and just like my mother I bawled like a baby. I went trough two boxes of tissues and three tubs of Ben and jerry’s ice cream. It didn’t seem to help my plight that I was watching gone with the wind. I was glued to that couch for three weeks. James came over to help me but his attempts were fruitless. God forbid the one time he cares is the one time I don’t listen to him. I felt like the only thing that could take away this hurt would be the roof collapsing on my head. I sat on that bright leather couch, remote glued to my hand, Ice cream in my lap and tissue box on the side table. Here I was trapped in this cells flambé aunt barrage of colors, slightly resembling the toilet of the Kool-Aid man. My apartment was cramped, yet I didn’t care. I was so oblivious to my surroundings that I never cared. I felt so selfish, but it was warranted. In this world that shuns the type of lifestyle I lead, the type of person I am I finally find someone who carries themselves the way I do, someone else whom the world shuns, and they leave me to rot. I’ve cried over him for too long Kevin. I‘ve wondered why for too long. I’ve sat on that couch and hoped that he would come crawling back to me with open arms. Only to realize that all my hard spent energy was useless. Because nobody herd me Kevin. Nobody herd my cries, nobody was there to respond to the message in my tears, not you Kevin and not your brother. I spent too long wishing for another chance with him only to realize after pissing three weeks of my life away on that couch, that I never cared. I spent three weeks wishing for something that I never wanted again. Three weeks of crying hollow tears