My dog stayed crunchy even in milk…I know that as fact, and as well should all of you, but in order to properly establish why, we must venture back in time.

Spot was my dog, a mixed bread with a major lack of intelligence, poor fellow really. He was nice, annoying at times but nice generally, and such as we did everyday I took him for a walk.

It was the beginning of Spring, the fresh flowers' scent was everywhere, and the cherry blossoms were beautiful, each and every pedal its own little world, pure beauty. With the given scenery time passed by rather quickly and before I knew what had happened we were almost back within our home. It was during this time, as so luck would have it, just as we walked down the home stretch of sidewalk that a car flew by clipping a puddle. The misfortunate, and most likely intentional action got spot rather wet. Mother didn't like when Spot was wet.

So, before we could enter the house again I had to go get the blow drier and dry off my baby, my Spot. Spot was a good doggie yes he was. As I was drying him he let out a yelp, I don't like when my baby lets out a cry. It was mother's fault.

He was dry now, so we entered the house, and I spoke to mother, in regards to the dinner for the evening, this was how it worked every night. I would walk the dog, she would prepare our meal. For the last twenty years, she prepared my meals, for the last twenty years I walked my doggy. First, it was Bob, he lived 14 years, I got him when I was 5, and then I got James, he only lived a day, mother said the farm wanted him. I knew mother made me eat him…she doesn't think I know but I do…we couldn't afford veal.

Then I got Spot, I won't let her hurt my Spot. But she made him cry… she hurt him…but its mother, its okay. I forgive her, she feeds me and takes care of me. Dinner was good like always, mother never made a bad meal.

After dinner, I went into my room with Spot to watch television. I like always turned on the TV Guide channel, to see the listing. They were gone. There was now television on the TV Guide. That was it, mother had gone too far, she took my Bob from me and wants to take Spot, and she took away my TV guide. Tonight mother dies.

That is what I decided. And the plan was beautiful. She did not have the chance to scream, and mother always screamed. I wish I could take all the credit, but it was Spot who gave me his leash, it helped keep the garbage bag sealed tight. I always knew he was smarter than everyone thought. Just had to find his talent. And I did, he was a good accomplice to murder, yes he was.

She made a good stew.

Once she was all used up, the bones were easy to get rid of. That was another one of Spot's talents. Digging. But once she was gone I had nothing to eat, I starved for days, two weeks went by and I could live with the hunger no longer. That's when I learned my dog stayed crunchy even in milk.