"I love you, Honor." Cole whispered into my ear. "Huh?" I muttered. "I love you." He said again. I felt my face turn a rosy red as my jaw slightly dropped. "Cole I..." I barely let slip through the cracks of my lips. He stared at me with deep intensity. He had a light blue eyes aganist his tan itallian skin and slightly shaggy blonde hair made him so geourgous. It had been eight monthes since my world was turned upside down. It was april of my junior year and cole and I had been going strong for two monthes. He was my first civil meeting with anyone since brendon had left. Until Cole came around my life was a living hell. That's after my repuatuon spread around. Soon everyone seemed to know about what happened between brendon and I. Of course I was the one who went through all the harrasmeant and idiotic behavior dor monthes now him. He was in europe and as far as I know still was. "I love you." He insisted again. I closed my eyes quickly. "I love you too." I said softly trying to smile. He smiled bright showing his big white teeth. It was the first time he had said that to me but somthing just didn't seem right. I had a nagging pain tugging at my heart that was too familiar for comfort but I just coulnt place the feekling. Ever since Ricky had been senteniced my life didn't get any better it just changed. Drake had never said that I had changed but he never told me before. But people can't stay the same forever and that's a fact. Now I knew why I feared change. Now that this new feeling had come over me it reminded me when the chnaged ran around me in the air. "Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked quietly I nodded. He grabbed my hand as lead me out of his house. We walked down the street embracing each other softly. "Sorry." I said. Lately I have been apologizing for things that don't need to be apologized for. "For before. I just wasn't..." I began. Cole nodded. "I know." He said sympathitxally. I hated the fact that he knew eveything I did and didn't do. I glared at him. He squeezed my hands. "We have school in the morning." I said he nodded as we walked into the driveway. "Ill give you a ride home then." I nodded in agreemeant as we enterted the car. "Honor are you okay?" he asked as we pulled into my own driveway “its just lately your acting different”. I shrugged I didn't want to here from some guy who hardly knew me. No one knew me. Not the way that brendon did. But then again would anyone ever know me that way again? "I have just been working really hard." He nodded and leaned in to kiss me. His lips met mine softly. He smiled. "I love you." I slammed the car door. "I love you too." I said with a quiver in my voice. I walked into the house quietly as I saw someone sitting on the couch. "Hello?" I questioned. The man whipped his head around in suprise and began walking towards me. "I'm Dan, your mothers friend." I nodded. Since when did she have a new boyfriend? "Honor." I said shaking his hand polietly. "She didn't tell you anything about me?" he said. I didn't say anything. "Didn't think so after I talked to your brother." "You talked to Drake." I said excitedly. He nodded. "When?" I said walking to the phone. "He was here." I gave a questioning look. "Drake was here?" I muttered to myself. I ran up the stairs and bursting open hsi door. I hadn't seen drake since thanksgiving. He didn't come home for christmas becauce of the snow storm. He looked at me with astonishmeant as if I had somthing wrong with me. "What?" he asked stainf up from his chair. "You didn't tell me you were coming home." I said hugging him tightly. He smiled as I pulled away. "I missed you." I said he just smiled. "How long are you staying?" I asked. "Just a week." I smiled weakly. "So what's with moms new friend?" Drake asked. I shrugged. "Just met him." I replied. "Mom never said a word about him before." I flopped onto his bed. "How's Hazel?" I asked trying to sound the least sarcastic. "Fine." He said shaking his head. "How are you holding up?" he asked. I tried to smile but iit didn't turn out right. "I met somone." I said. "His name is Cole." He nodded in aprrovemeant. "I'm happy for you." I bit my lip. "I missed dinner didn't I?" he nodded. I rolled my eyes. I hadn't been eating a lot lately but my stomach never seemed to mind. "I went into my room and shut the door behind me." My room was oddly clean. "Was mom cleaning?" I yelled across the hall to Drake. "Yup" he yelled back. I looked over at my bed and a box was laying on top if it. I sat down beside it and poured its conents out. "O god." I muttered under my breath. I dug through the odd items. It was my brendon box. It was filled with anything that he ever gave me, like or wrote me. I scrambled past the love notes and stuffed animals and tee shirts. A book was sitting at the bottom of the box. I pulled it open and lifted the cover up and over. I pursed my lips as pictures of us filled the book. I didn't mean to cry nr did I want to but an uncontrolable pain ran through me and tear droped began to fall. I was sick of crying. I didn't want to anymore. I promised myself that I was over him and over last year and I intend on keeping that promise to myself. That was the only promise I could control. I threw everything back into the box and angeryly brought it to the trash can and threw it in. I took a deep breath as I ran through the darkness back into the house. No body was around. I walked back into my room and gathered the blankets around me. As blakcness fell deeper around me I felt my mind loose its trace of thought. I awoke to a bright light shinning through my window and in a deep cold sweat. I whipped my hand across my forehead. My dream couldn't have been more real. And worst of all it wasn't even fake it had happened and the fream made it ten times clearer. It was the night I broke up with Brendon. It replayed in my head like a movie. I hit the pillow with my fist and buried my face into it. I needed coffee and quick. I rushed to get dressed and put my makeup on. I ran down the stairs to see Cole standing in the living room talking to Drake. "Hi." I said questioning. “ready?” he asked kissing my cheek. “hold on.” I said running into the kitchen pouring a rather large cup of coffee and gulping it down as I walked back into the living room. I smiled softly as Cole leaned in and kiss me. “I love you.” My face turned red. “I love you too.” I muttered. “lets go.” I said ignoring Drake and pulling Cole out of the house. “sorry I was late.” I said as we sat in the car. “I forgot you we driving me today.”

“that’s okay sweetie.” He said pulling into the school. I rubbed my eye. I was still so tried. He smiled as he grabbed my hand as we walked into the school. “what do you have?” Cole asked just as the bell rang. “study hall.” He nodded. “then I will see you in english.” I nodded. He moved in to kiss me and we kissed until we were late. When I pulled away I saw a flash of deep green come before my eyes but left just as instantly. I smiled as he kissed my cheek. “love you.” He said. “love you too.”

My heart thumped as I said that. Part of me felt weird saying that, just in general but to Cole of all people. Cole the person who made me eat glue in kindgarten who harrased me in seventh grade and suddenly junior year he is just some different guy? I mean he is, but did I love him?

When I walked into the libarary there was a large circle of the people in the middle of the room. When I walked into the room a few people began to turn around point to me. “what the hell.” I said. “whats going on?” I asked a random student standing on the edge. “I don’t know, someone is back?” the questioned the own words. People began to whisper around me. When I got to the middle of the pack no one was even there. “whats going on?” I asked someone else. They just ignored me. I rolled my eyes as I walked through the rest of the libarary. “is it true you got her pregnant?” I heard. “ummm.” Someone else said. “okay then why did you leave?” I whipped my head around and a dirty hair blond haired boy raced out of the room.

“what the hell is everyone talking about?” I questioned walking to the girls room. When I came out I bumped into the Cole. “hey babe.” He said kissing me. “hi.” I said. “I got to go study.” I said dodging around him. “okay.” He said kissing me again. “I love you Honor.” He said deeply. “I love you too.” I said looking up from the ground. I looked behind him and my eyes widened. “I will see you later then.” He said I nodded as I abruptly turned around.

I scratched my head. “Honor.” He said coming closer to me as I attempted to walk faster. “Honor.” He pulled on my hand as I turned around. I bit my lip as I looked up into his deep green eyes. “Brendon.” I muttered. He dropped my hand. It had been so long since I saw his georgous face and his fascinating eyes. He scratched his head nervously. “when did you get back?” I asked quietly. “about a week ago.”

Tears swelled in my eyes. “so whats your status?” I shrugged. “you can just say it.” He said slightly more annoyed. “I didn’t expect to sit around.” I angrily rolled my eyes and walked into the library. It wasn’t what he said that was so bad. But I did stick around for six monthes tyring to ignore the fact that I love him and I still am. Add that with the combination of seeing him again just sent an alaram through my body.

“hey Honor.” He said following me. “what?” I asked turing around. “whats the matter.” I shook my head I contunied walking. “I am not doing this again.” I throwing my books onto a table. “what are you talking about?” He cried. “you broke up with me.” I rolled my eyes. “you said you would always love me.” I said. “what happened to that.” I said leaning forward. “im not the one who has a a girlfriend.” I grunted. “I waited six long monthes Brendon.” I cried. “I NEVER HEARD A WORD FROM YOU.”

“I had no one to talk to.” I said tears building up again. “everyone here was ridiculing me and talking about me and you and what happened until I had Cole. I had NOONE.” I shook my head. “but you wouldn’t know what that feels like since you just ran away.” I felt the whole room staring at us. “I didn’t run away.” He said weekly. “okay then why didn’t you contact me?” I questioned. He didn’t say anything. “how come not even a week ago when you go home.” He did answer. “then like I said I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.”

He pulled on my hand as I tried to walk about. “do you love me?” he asked deeply. “Cole is my boyfriend not you.” I said. “do you love me.” I shrugged him off of me and walked out of the room. I heard chatter spread through out the school. By lunch time I felt like people were always starring. A year ago I was just the quiet weird girl with her lovely boyfriend. Now suddenly everyone knows my name and I am the scandal of the school. That’s how much goes on at my school and people always say it blows over, well I don’t see it going any where!

I sat an empty table in the back of the room as chatter filled the room. “hey.” Cole said quietly sitting across from me. “hi.” I said picking at my sandwhich. “so…” he muttered. “your ex-boyfriend is back?” I nodded. “does this change anything?” there was a silence as I looked up at him. “no.” I said biteing my lip. “I guess you heard about our fight?” I asked. “bits and pieces.”

I took a bite of my sandwhich. “you don’t have to deal with him if you don’t want to.” I raised one eyebrow. “I know.” “so do you want to?” he asked. “want to what?” he tapped the table. “get involved with him again.” I rolled my eyes. “you’re my boyfriend.” I said. “not him.” He nodded and was looking up and behind me.

“what?” I muttered looking in back of me. “can we talk?” Brendon asked. “go ahead.” He shook his head. “in private.” I grunted. “everyone already knows what happened last year.” I smirked. “o but you wouldn’t know that.” He rolled his eyes and sat down. He contunied to stare at me until the bell rang. “umm, I have class.” Cole said as he got up. “you don’t have to go.” He shook his head. “ill see you later Honor.” He kissed my cheek and walked out of the room with the rest of the school. “well we can’t sit in here.” I said getting up and walking into the library.

“what do you want.” I asked sitting on a couch. “I want to talk to you.” I flaied my arms sarcastically. “no the real you.” I shook my head. “this is the real me, Brendon.” I bit my lip. “but you wouldn’t know that since you haven’t been around.” He went to open his mouth. “people to have the authority to change.” He looked at me. “maybe I am not the girl you fell in love with.” He shook his head. “or maybe your just afraid to be that girl”