All hail
the king of self-deprecation.
Godly as he is,
immortality would
just be too cliche
for him.

All hail
the king of ironic statements.
His mouth is a dictionary
of misinterpretation;
No, honey, he didn't mean it that way.

All hail me!
Queen of the liars,
Crown of thorns and all that jazz.
I sit on my pewter chair
And I whine; I bitch; I complain,
I chew on posies and sunflowers.
I am a weed in a garden of decadence.

All hail us!
Long live the wedded bliss
Of sinners and saviors!
Long live the procrastinators!
Long live the hypocrites!
Long live the king and queen!