CHAPTER ONE: LETTERS OF LOVING BETRAYAL

--Two Years Earlier--

I walk into my room and turn on the light overhead. My fan turns on and a breeze sweeps across my face as I walk across the burgundy carpet to my window. I can feel the humidity of Florida weather, even though it's winter. Just two more days until New Years Eve, and then we would go to my Grandmother Betty's, where my father would be waiting. He went away on business yesterday, to the city a few miles away from where Grandma lives. He promised he'd meet us there. Karie, my fifteen year-old sister, walks in to look at the full moon through my window with me. I always let her, because my room has the best view outside. I can see our backyard and the big oak tree with our tire swing still sitting on the branches. I can remember how much fun we had when we were little, just sitting and swinging.

I don't say a word to Karie; she doesn't say a word to me. Binx, our brown cat, leaps up onto her lap and she pets him. The only noise in the room is the sound of his purring. This is how we usually spend our nights of the full moon. Sitting here on the little blue beanie bag chairs, bathing in the silver moonlight. I think life is perfect. Sure, Karie can sometimes be a pain in my butt, being two and a half years older then me, but that's just life. I wonder if all sisters act this way. To me, I don't think that it matters. We're sisters; this is the way we act, so I deal with it.

Before long, I feel my eyelids starting to close. I'm half awake by now. I see everything through a haze. It feels like Karie is picking me up and taking me to my bed. I can feel the blanket covering me only up to my chin. I think she says "good night" and kisses my forehead. I don't know if she stays to look at the moon or not. Maybe she leaves. But as I lay here looking through a mist, I fall asleep.

I dream of flying. I'm flying and my family is with me. We are having such a good time. It's a full moon out and I'm once again basking in its glow. We are all smiling and laughing, we're all so happy just by being together. The wind is whipping against our faces, but it feels so good. Suddenly, clouds cover up the moon. Darkness falls, but the city lights from below are enough to guide us home. Father stops smiling. Why does he stop smiling? He looks so angry right now. Father pushes Mother, Karie, and I. We begin to fall, and the fall seems to last forever. I hope we can fly again. Father is flying away, laughing and ignoring us in our dreadful descent. The three of us keep falling, and I wake up.

The fan is still on, but I am sweating through my pajamas and the light blanket. I desperately need water, so I get up to get some. Through my window I can see that the sun is rising, piercing the darkness and bringing everything into its colored, shining light. I get my water and sit down on a beanie bag, being careful not to spill. The sunrise is so pretty. I don't know how early I have woken up, but I don't feel very tired anymore. I feel like I am rising with the sun. No longer falling, no longer terrified and asking why he pushed us. I soon find myself deep in thought, and I don't notice Karie coming into my room. She brings a book on psychology. I want to ask her why she is reading school stuff now, but I don't want to get on her nerves this early in the day. She looks like she is half-asleep now. I offer her some coke or coffee, but she refuses.

"Karie," I ask her, "can I trust you with something important?"

She answers yes, so I begin to tell her about my dream. She is studying psychology, so she might be able to figure something out, right? I finish with when I wake up. She looks like she doesn't know where to start.

"Father would never do that, that he would never betray us. He would keep us flying, not falling, wouldn't he?" Karie says with a smile. "After all, he is the daddy."

She seems so mad that I would believe that something would go wrong just because of a silly dream. We finish watching the sunrise in an eerie silence. Karie glares at me, takes her book, and leaves the room.

"You should start packing for our trip to Houston tomorrow. You might not have time later on today," Karie tells me before her exit. So I begin.

We are planning to stay there for three days; New Year's Eve, New Years Day, and the following day, which was Granny's birthday. We were going to give her a great big strawberry cake, her favorite. Just like every year, we were going to have a blast and while our parents drank champagne, Karie and I would go down to the basement and tell funny stories back and forth until our sides hurt from laughing so hard. Maybe Karie would tell me about high school and I could tell her about the middle school summer band camp we had this year. Maybe she would ignore the stories because she never really cared about us band nerds. She thought us the lowest of the low, which is what normal people believed. We all know that we're cool, though.

I finish packing my suitcase and I sneak a glance at the clock. It's almost eight, and I hear mom begin to wake up. She needs to leave the house for work in an hour. I can hear her walk by my room to get her morning coffee. She starts the machine and shuffles back to her bedroom to get dressed. I dash out and start to make her favorite morning meal; scrambled eggs with bacon. It reminds her of the very first breakfast she had as a wife with daddy. Especially when we make it a big smiley face, for she always laughs and hugs us and tells us about the first morning as a married woman. We pretend to listen, pretend to be interested. We've heard the story so many times that we could tell it ourselves as though we were Mother!

The smell of the food rises to my nose and I take a whiff. Apparently, Mother knows what I am up to because she runs into the kitchen and brings me into her arms with laughter that sounds like the jingling of bells. She seems so happy that I decided to wake up early enough to make her favorite breakfast food. She sits down and I serve it to her styled like a smiley face. She has me sit down and starts to tell her story once again. She beams when she mentions how Father made the breakfast and how he swept her into his arms, eyes sparkling with joy. Before we know it, it's eight forty-five and Mother needs to put shoes on so that she can leave for work.

"Will you and Karie put all my things into my suitcase?" she asks as Karie walks in to get some Pop-tarts. "All of my clothes are folded on the bed," she tells us as she kisses us goodbye. I can hear her car driving away as Karie and I finish our breakfast and stroll into her room.

There on the bed we see piles upon piles of clothing. I don't think that Mother enjoys travelling so lightly, even if only for a few days. Karie and I joke about it as we stuff all Mother's things into her suitcase. The phone rings and Karie picks it up. It's dad, so I go pick up another phone and we all take turns telling stories to each other. Dad sounds like he is having a good time at work, but he seems mad that his clients are too dumb to fix their own computer. Karie seems interested in sharing news about none other than her boyfriend, and Father asks me how Jack is doing.

Jack and I have been going out since last year, and all the boys tease him about it. I guess you could say that I'm the school heart throb, but most of the other girls can't see why. Jack is so sweet but looks a bit like a fish. He has big eyes but I think he looks cute. No one seems to want to agree with me, but I could care less. I love him for who he is, and he seems to disregard their snide remarks as well. I was planning on spending New Years with him when we get old enough. He doesn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he seems very happy about it.

I tell father that Jack is doing just fine and that I need to go finish Mother's packing. Karie continues to talk on the phone as I stuff the last of mother's items into her small bag. We think she'll be able to pack the make-up herself, so I go to my room and take out my flute. I recently learned how to actually make sound come out, although I have had the flute for almost a year. I really love band and it's also the place where Jack and I met. He's a trumpet player. He's my only friend. I don't have many friends. I hope that changes when I start high school. People there won't know me and will probably want to meet me if they don't know me that well. At least that's what I hope.

I play a song called "Morning", and then I play "A song for friends". They are both very pretty songs. One day, I hope that I can play prettier than birds soaring over the trees. In the meantime, though, I need to learn all the notes. Karie walks in and starts to hum the tune that I am playing. She has such a pretty voice. I always ask her why she isn't in chorus, but she just gives me a sad smile and walks away. She looks so distant during those moments, but for I now, I enjoy her voice mixing with my flute. When we're done, she tells me that it is already lunch time and that I should come out and eat what she prepared.

We complete our meal quicker than we expected, so Karie and I decide that we should go for a walk in the park. The grass is so green and lush and trees look so pretty with their flowers as they sway in the gentle breeze. We lay down and watch the clouds for awhile. We tell each other what each one looks like, and before we know it, the sun begins to set it's golden rays. Soon, we are home and find mother happily cooking dinner. She is humming a little tune to herself as she thanks us for her packing and tells us to set the table. Karie takes care of silverware as I get the plates and the cups. We briskly set the table and Mother tells us that dinner is served. We are all so excited to see Father and Granny tomorrow; Mother seems to be vibrating with joy.

The meal is over and it is late, so I go to bed. Before I know it, I am out like a light. It feels like I have been asleep for only a few minutes when Karie shakes me and tells me to get dressed, for it is time to go to Houston. Mom puts Binx into his crate and he goes in, amazingly calm. The plane looks nice from the inside and the outside, but we don't like the airport. We wait only fifteen minutes and then we take off. Binx is on my lap, silence as a mouse eating cheese. I fall asleep again, this time to the gentle rocking of the flying machine. Mother starts to tickle me and tells me that we have landed. I am so ecstatic to see Granny and Father that I hop up and down until it is our turn to go.

We get off the plane and find Granny waiting for us outside. All three of us run into her arms, careful not to hit her with Binx and his crate, and Mother seems happy to see her mom after another long but peaceful year. Granny says that Dad is at her house, checking his e-mail on the computer. We get into Granny's shiny blue car and it isn't much longer until Granny's phone rings. It's Dad.

Granny tells us that he is on call and needs to go back to work, so we won't see him until much later today. We are frowning a little bit, but we are too happy to see Granny that it overcomes our short spurt of sadness. In less then an hour, we arrive at Granny's house and Uncle Tom and Little Julie come out to meet us. Uncle Tom is Granny's big, old, and faithful doggy companion. Little Julie is her four year old, beautiful white tabby cat. I run up to greet Little Julie and I hear Binx meowing, wanting to say hi too. Karie says a quick hello to Uncle Tom and takes Binx inside the house. She says that she isn't sure he would stay if we let him outside or not. I think we should be careful with Binxy Boo.

We walk in to the old country styled house and put down our bags in our own separate guest rooms. Mom will share hers with Dad, and Granny stays in her own large room. We all remember how Grandpa died a few years ago, just days after New Year's. It was heartbreaking. This is our first time back to this house since. Usually, Granny spends this time of year at our place, but this year we decided to come back because we thought we were ready.

I pick up the teddy bear that Grandpa hand-made for me and I hug it close. Karie comes in and says that we should go see how Mom is holding up. We walk in the room and notice that Dad left his e-mail open. I think it must have been a pretty important call to leave without turning off his e-mail. Father never lets anyone read his e-mail; not even Mother. Mom tells us she is doing just fine as she sits down to the computer and reads his e-mails.

"Is this an invasion of privacy?" I ask mom.

"Kanna sweeite, when you're married, the only thing that should remain private is if you are cheating on your spouse," Mother says. "And besides, your Father would NEVER do something like that."

She continues to read his e-mails and tells us, "Almost all of them are from someone named Tania. Hmm. Must be someone he works with a lot."

We think that it is a client of Dad's, and Mom keeps on reading e-mails. Her face slowly turns into a grimace, and then a frown. She reads the final e-mail, the one that Dad left open. Mom just leans back and tears are soon pouring out of her eyes, smearing her un-needed make-up. Karie and I rush to look at the e-mail that could possibly hurt Mother so much.

It's a love letter. One loving one from Tania, and one loving reply from Dad. He says he'll rush out to meet her soon; he can't wait to see her. And in it, he says he'd do anything for her. He says he is madly in love all over again. He says that he loves her over his own wife.