Six:

Approaching Woes

--

His elbows planted on his knees and hands clasped together, Qwuan's head hung down as if he were concentrating on the teal and white patterns of the tile. Oblivious, he sat lost in a tunnel of memories and thoughts.

His day had looked completely different when it'd first started. From its start with Christopher waking him up early to the phone call he'd received just before going to take his shower, not once would he have thought it'd end at the hospital.

But it did.

Maeline had been in emergent surgery for-- he glanced at the big ass clock on the wall for the fourth time-- over an hour now. Throughout the whole time Joshua, Eimee and he had been sitting out there waiting, not once had anyone come out of the double doors to let them know what was going on.

Without saying it aloud, it was clear all of them were worried.

Yet, somehow all he kept thinking about was the death of his parents and Judianna. It wasn't as though he remembered exactly what happened when his parents died, but what he did remember well were the feelings he'd felt. Feelings like the confusion he had felt when the doctor apathetically explained his mother's helpless situation and his father's immediate death, and then the incapability he'd experienced at not being able to help Judianna were clear feelings he remembered.

They were chapters within his life he didn't want to recollect but couldn't help thinking about.

It was being in the waiting room. It was the silence of it that was broken every once in a while by a cough and it was the fact that his grandmother was in surgery. It was a lot of things that had him remembering those times.

Another thing he kept thinking about was why in the hell hadn't he gone to see Maeline sooner?

A hand suddenly landing on his shoulder, made him look up to see Joshua staring down at him.

Before the hospital call, he hadn't seen Joshua. Looking up at him, he realized he looked a lot like his mother. From the green eyes and dark hair to the pale skin like he hadn't seen enough days in the sun during the summer, he was Eimee. For cousins there was nothing about them that resembled each other.

“I was going to go downstairs to the cafeteria to get something to eat and mom a coffee. You want anything?”

Remembering the last time he'd eaten anything was hours ago when Christopher had shown up at his door with breakfast, Qwuan stood up. “I'll go down with you.”

In honesty he really didn't need to get anything to eat, but instead get away from the waiting room and the unsaid worries between all of them.

Nodding first, Joshua walked over to his mother for a moment. Qwuan watched him share a few words with Eimee before he walked out the room to get the elevator. Joshua, meeting up with him just as the elevator doors opened, frowned and said as they got on, "She said she still just wants the coffee."

Lost within separate thoughts, the two of them silently took the elevator down a few floors. It wasn't as though they actually had anything to say, yet, to break the silence then would have been like shattering the fragile balance that everything would be okay.

Walking into the cafeteria, Qwuan quickly took in its surroundings of a large, open space, light green painted walls, and several tables closely knitted together. He also saw that aside from two nurses and a doctor, the cafeteria was empty.

Easily buying a cup of coffee for himself while Joshua got a sandwich and soda, they took a couple of seats in a corner.

The same silence that had been held upstairs in the waiting room and in the elevator remained between them for a while as they sat. Then Joshua, never one to keep still and quiet for long, interrupted the intense muteness.

"You think... the surgery's gonna go okay? That Maeline'll make it through?" he asked, in a tone that held a small hint of worry.

Doubtful himself, Qwuan responded with, "I don't know... The doctors said that the surgery should go smooth..."

He left a but hanging in the air like a pendulum, which Joshua picked up on and replied, "But that was before she had a seizure."

At this Qwuan kept silent.

Earlier when Joshua had called him saying Maeline had gone into emergent surgery, he hadn't had time to ask what happened. Not even when he'd arrived and Eimee briefly explained how his grandmother had been talking one moment, then shaking the next, did he have the time to think about what happened.

A medley of emotions such as trepidation, anxiety, and worry had instantly inhibited any other thoughts.

Now that he'd really gotten the chance to think over the situation more clearly, Qwuan saw there was a great possibility that his grandmother's chances of a successful surgery might have become slim. Or if her surgery went well, she could possibly end up with other physical complications afterwards. He didn't need to know much about seizures to understand that it all depended on the type of seizure she had suffered from; almost every medical disease and complication depended on levels.

"I'm just making more of it, you know," remarked his cousin when he didn't say anything. "She had a seizure before and survived that, Maeline..." Qwuan didn't hear the rest of Joshua's self reassuring words.

'His grandmother had had a seizure? When the fuck had that happened? And why the hell didn't he know?'

Finding this out was like how he wasn't told when exactly they'd found out his grandmother was diagnosed with a tumor.

"Just forget what I said, a'right," he heard Joshua say in the middle of his thoughts.

“Yeah, sure,” he responded, wondering what excuse his aunt and uncle would give him if he inquired why they hadn't told him about her seizure.

Downing the last of his coffee, Qwuan stood up.

"You're leaving?" Joshua asked of him.

With a nod, he responded with, "I don't want the doctor to come while we're gone."

He also didn't want his uncle to arrive and be the only one to talk to the doctor if he showed up.

"Yeah... I understand. Just let me go get mom's coffee, then I'll go up with you."

Qwuan watched Joshua stand up, gulp down the last of his soda, ball his sandwich wrapper, then walk away to the coffee machine before turning away and starting out the cafeteria towards the elevators at a slow pace.

Joshua showed up the same moment the doors opened, a plastic coffee cup in his right hand.

Getting off on the eighth floor, they walked down the hall to the waiting room. As they rounded the corner, the half expected figure of Lewis was automatically seen talking to Eimee.

Puzzled for just a moment when he didn't see Vivienne with Lewis, Qwuan remembered Joshua and Eimee talking about her being at a friend's house.

“I wonder what's his fuckin' problem?”

The sudden question from Joshua, made Qwuan glance at him first then Lewis. From the few steps away, he could clearly see the scowl creasing his uncle's features.

Walking up and watching as Joshua handed his mother her coffee the moment they came to stand before them, he slowly turned his gaze on Lewis and asked, "Has the doctor come out?"

The scowl turning into a blank stare, Lewis said, “I just got here, I know just about as much as you do.”

'Which meant he didn't know shit,' Qwuan thought.

"No, the doctor hasn't come out yet. I asked the nurses when we'll be able to get some information about her condition while you were downstairs," Eimee replied. "They weren't very helpful-- let's just put it that way," was added when Lewis gave her a unspoken look of question.

"Then how long has she been in there?" asked Lewis, which made Qwuan notice for the first time that his uncle was anxiously worried, perhaps more worried than Eimee or he were.

Something about noticing this inner fear of Lewis, caused Qwuan to feel as if his uncle and he weren't exactly different.

He, too, had been through this scenario with his parents when finding out one of them had died during the plane crash and the other was going to die, then after finding Judianna dead years later. It was the same feeling of wanting to do something, but in the position of not being able to do anything.

“She's been in there for over an hour now,” His aunt remarked, frowning with worry.

Qwuan, noticing Joshua squeeze Eimee's hand and Lewis touch her shoulder, silently started to move to a seat and give the three of them a moment when he saw a doctor walk out the double doors that led to the back. Quickly the man looked around, then started towards them.

Taking in the tall, balding, oval-headed doctor as he came to stand in front of them, he heard Lewis address him with, “Doctor Macgraw.”

“Lewis,” he simply said nodding at Lewis, then glancing at the rest of them. “As you--”

“How is she?” Eimee inquired, interrupting whatever the doctor was about to say and making him gaze at her.

“Well, it's too early to say since she's still in surgery... but right now, everything seems to be going well.”

"So, what exactly happened?" Lewis asked.

Doctor Macgraw pushed his hands inside his coat pockets, and slowly said as if he was asserting the incident that took place into appropriate words. "Well, as you know, Mrs. Hortz suffered from a Grand Mal seizure--"

"Grand Mal?" Joshua asked before anyone else could.

Glancing from Joshua to Qwuan for a good second, Doctor Macgraw responded with, "A grand mal seizure is usually characterized by muscle rigidity, violent rhythmic muscle contractions, and loss of consciousness." He turned his gaze on Lewis then, "Due to that, we had to move Mrs. Hortz into immediate surgery, rather than doing it on Sunday as scheduled."

Qwuan glanced at Eimee when he heard that, wondering why the hell hadn't anyone told him Maeline was supposed to have surgery on Sunday.

"Was there a cause for her seizure?" Lewis suddenly asked, unabated worry in his tone.

"Well..." Hesitation was recognized by Qwuan when the Doctor began to speak. Hesitation that didn't make sense until he finished saying, "We believe due to her small family history of epilepsy and that she has actually had a seizure in the past, that was the prime cause."

'Who the fuck was we? Prime cause and they believed?'

Qwuan hated doctors sometimes. They never straightforwardly said the but part of what they were explaining, nor did they exactly say they had no clue about something. There was always an absoluteness when they had to explain a medical terminology or what state a family member was in.

'And here it was people like them actually trusted there ass.'

"So what you're telling us is that there is a possibility her tumor wasn't caused by her family history or her previous seizure? That's your but?" Qwuan wondered aloud.

An angered expression flashed on Doctor Macgraw's face, showing how he didn't appreciate his judgment questioned. "I won't say that."

'It was I now?' Qwuan sarcastically thought.

"As I said before, it's too early to say what precisely it was that caused her seizure, but it can be believed that it's the common idiopathic reason. Which, again as I said earlier, still evolves around a family history of epilepsy or seizures."

"You believe?" Qwuan asked to hear Joshua snort in agreement.

He knew he wasn't making anything easy by being a smart ass, but he didn't care for the doctor's god-like attitude. It was possible the man was a good doctor, but a fool, and his feelings towards him weren't about to change.

"I--"

"Do you know if Adeline will be okay after the surgery?" suddenly asked Eimee, once again cutting the Doctor off and drawing his irked gaze on her.

“It's a good possibility, but still too soon to tell when she's still in surgery,” he answered Eimee with. He sent an unreadable look towards Qwuan, as though he expected him to say something else, then said, “I'll let you know the minute the surgery is over though. If there isn't anything else?”

Nodding at them when nobody asked anything, the doctor turned and started for the double doors.

“What the hell was that about?” Lewis abruptly asked, facing Qwuan the moment the doctor disappeared from their sight.

“What the hell was what about?” he asked just as irritated as Lewis.

Lewis frowned. “You questioning Macgraw like that? Like you have a right to.”

'What the fuck!' “I don't have a fu— a right to ask anything?”

“Qwuan... calm down.” Eimee touched his arm as she spoke. “Lewis didn't mean that.” From the side he saw her send Lewis a look.

Ignoring it, he said in a heavy tone, “Tell me, Qwuan, how many times have you been to see your grandmother? Or was it you were just going to see her like Judianna?”

Ready to say something in reply, Qwuan shut his mouth at Lewis' questions. There wasn't anything he could actually say.

“I thought so,” was soundly remarked to his silence. “So why would you think you have a right to say anything to the doctor?”

Qwuan felt Joshua's gaze on him, waiting for a reply. Choosing not to respond, Qwuan simply walked away. He could vaguely hear Eimee calling his name as he got on the elevator but ignored her.

Everything his uncle had said was true. He hadn't gone to see his grandmother since coming back, just like he hadn't gone to see Judianna at one time. Going downstairs through the emergency lobby, he started to head outside for some air but changed his mind.

He knew that if he went outside he'd only end up smoking the last cigarette he kept in his pocket as a reminder of having quit, and that wouldn't make him feel better. Looking for the a snack area where he could buy some gum or something, he wondered why the hell they didn't have a sign to show where it was.

Finally finding it after turning down the wrong hall, Qwuan went straight to the candy machine. Putting in fifty cents and pushing the numbers for gum, he suddenly heard, “It doesn't work.”

A girl he hadn't seen when coming in, quietly sat in the corner watching him. The same way she'd quietly watched him put his damn money in the machine, knowing the shit didn't work, and didn't say anything until then.

“Does the soda machine work?” he asked.

“Didn't try it,” she held a coffee cup up to her lips as indication before drinking it, “so I don't know.”

He nodded, looking back at the machines, “I see.”

About to try it anyway, it was said, “I think there's another snack room up the hall by the elevators though.”

Nodding again, he said 'thanks', then turned and started out to find the other snack area.

Words:

And all will continue in the next chapter, so to speak. Anyway, as usual let me know if you see I missed anything. Just don't be an ass about it, okay. Then again, no one ever reads this last statement...