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Learning Sucks
Author's Note - Last chapter!
Something New
I was still attempting not to be depressed when I went to school the next day. Of course, having English first thing in the morning didn’t help. I delayed going to class as long as possible, and sat down in my seat as the bell rang. But, it happened that the only empty seat was right behind Aaron and his new boy-toy. They were holding hands between the desk, and I tried to ignore them. Ethan was sitting in the front row, and all I could see of him from where I was seated was the back of his neck. Instead of looking at him, I concentrated on answering Schulz’s questions about the Beloved reading. Thanks to Ethan, I was a good student now. After we went over the discussion questions, she passed back the last quizzes we’d taken. And I got an A! I couldn’t wait to show Ethan after class.
When class was finally over, I lingered, waiting to catch Ethan. I managed to get him as he was leaving.
“Hey Ethan,” I said. He looked up at me, startled.
“Oh, hi Dante,” he replied. He looked a little… annoyed?
“So, um, are we getting together after school?” I asked. There was a pause, and right then, I already knew the answer.
“Well, I could, but I’m kind of, um, busy after school, sorry,” he said, cleverly managing not to look at me.
“Uh, okay,” I said, “That’s fine… I totally understand,” I replied. Ethan didn’t even say anything else, he just walked away. I stood there for another minute or two before I got myself together and went to class.
I didn’t really concentrate a lot when I was in class. I was mostly just mindlessly doing my work, and even at lunch I didn’t have anything to say in the conversation that Brendan and Caleb were having. They didn’t seem to care, or if they did, they didn’t bother to say anything. Whatever, I didn’t really care. I just wanted to talk to Ethan, but I guess that wasn’t going to happen until tomorrow when I met him at his house for poetry. I perked up a little bit at that thought, and I went to bed early that night, just so I could get up earlier and be that much closer to seeing Ethan.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I showered and picked out my favorite outfit – my tight black jeans, white tank top and lavender button up shirt. Yes, lavender. What can I say, the color looks good on me, okay? I put on a couple of my bracelets – only the black ones, though, and made sure my hair was all nice and neat. Then I headed over to Ethan’s house.
I got there a little early, which would explain why the door wasn’t answered the first time I knocked on it. I knocked again, waited, and finally, the door was opened. Ethan’s totally hot dad, Tom, was standing at the door in a pair of gray sweatpants and white socks. And, did I mention that he wasn’t wearing any shirt? That was a nice six-pack for someone who was over thirty-five years old. But, that didn’t really do anything, because, honestly, all I could think about right now was I want to see Ethan.
“Is Ethan here?” I asked. Tom reached a hand up into his hair to scratch his head and looked at me.
“Uh, no, he went to lunch with his godfather. They should be back soon, so you can come in if you want to,” he said, gesturing into the house. I nodded, and followed him into the living room. I sat down on the couch and he joined me. There was one of those really awkward silences and I tried to think of something to say but nothing came to mind. Tom cleared his throat and I looked over at him.
“So, uh, are you, uh, friends with my son?” he asked me.
“I guess,” I replied, “I mean, he’s a cool guy. I like spending time with him,” I said, and I tried to kiss him, but that didn’t work out so well for me.
“Is that all that’s going on between the two of you?” he pressed. I looked at him, trying to figure out what he meant by that. His face said nothing, so I asked him.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Are you and Ethan together, in a romantic sort of way?” he asked, obviously a little annoyed at my stupidity.
“No,” I replied, trying to hide the fact that this was a really depressing thought.
“Are those your intentions, though?” Tom asked, “Are you trying to get into a romantic relationship with my son?”
“Well, I mean, I want to,” I said, wondering why the hell I was telling this to his father, “but I don’t think he’s interested,” I added.
“If you do, I mean, if things do happen between you and Ethan, I want you to be careful with him,” Tom said, going right through as though I hadn’t even said the last part, “I don’t want to see him get hurt,” he added, and turned to fix his gaze on me, “if you hurt him, I will hurt you,” he threatened, and that gaze suddenly turned really creepy.
“Um, okay, I won’t,” I promised. The creepy gaze left his face and he smiled at me. What the fuck just happened?
“That’s good to hear,” he said, patting my shoulder. The awkward silence returned for about five minutes, before I heard a car pull into the driveway. I flattened my shirt and patted my hair while I waited for them to come into the house. I could hear the front door open and voices in the hall and then Ethan and his godfather walked into the room. The godfather (what had his name been? Scott, Seth?) was also pretty cute, I mean, for a blonde guy. He was a little taller than Ethan, and he had the whole goatee thing. He looked like a drummer, kind of. I mean, if I knew what drummers looked like.
“Your friend is here to see you,” Tom said, standing up. Ethan and the drummer both glanced over at me, and I wished that I knew what that look from Ethan meant.
“You must be Dante!” Drummer said, “I’m Shane, Ethan’s godfather. It’s nice to meet you,” he added, sticking a hand out. I shook it, not really knowing what to say. Ethan told him about me? I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Um, Dante, maybe we should talk upstairs,” Ethan spoke finally.
“Okay,” I replied, as I didn’t really care where we talked, as long as it was done.
“Remember what I said,” Shane said, and Ethan nodded before leading me out of the room and up the stairs to his bedroom. When we got there, he opened the door and ushered me in, before closing it behind him.
“You can sit on the bed if you like,” he said. I did so, but he didn’t join me. Instead, he started pacing. Have I mentioned that I hate pacing?
“Okay, Dante, I understand that you’re attracted to me. I’ll be honest with you and say that I don’t understand why. Maybe you really aren’t attracted to me, and you’re just looking for someone to fool around with for a while. Whatever the reason, I am here to tell you, right now, that I am not interested.” He sighed, and continued, still not looking at me.
“I will admit that I find myself thinking about you more than I should. I happen to think that you are a very attractive individual, and I’ve had several fantasies about kissing you,” he said, and now I could see him turning a little red. But this was good news! He thinks about kissing me! He thinks I’m hot!
“So what’s the problem then?” I asked, because I didn’t get it. If I like him, and he likes me, where is the issue? Ethan finally stopped pacing and looked directly at me.
“If we were to start anything, I don’t want to last for maybe a week and then it’s all over. I’m serious about my relationships, Dante. I want you to be serious about me,” he said. He stopped speaking and just looked at me.
“I can be serious,” I said, “I mean, what do expect me to do?” I asked.
“Will you stop drooling over my dad? I mean, I know I’m not as attractive as he is, but if you’re going to be my boyfriend, you could at least pretend that you find me attractive,” he said. I stared.
“Oh, Ethan, I don’t have to pretend,” I replied, standing up. He seemed flustered, which was an interesting situation for us to be in. I stepped a little closer and put my hands on his waist.
“I would be honored to be your boyfriend. I promise I will be serious about it. I won’t talk to any other guys. I won’t even look at another guy! I’ll wear a blindfold all the time, except when we’re alone. As long as I get to cuddle with you and have you read me poetry and stuff. And kissing, lots of kissing would be fantastic,” I added, grinning at him. Ethan inhaled through his nose and continued to look at me.
“You don’t have to wear a blindfold, Dante,” he told me, picking his arms up. He looked like he wanted to put them somewhere, but didn’t know what to do.
“Okay, no blindfold,” I agreed, “Can I still kiss you though?” I asked, brightly.
“Now?” he asked, looking scared.
“Or we could wait and do it in English class on Monday,” I suggested. It was meant to be a joke, but I pictured the reactions of our classmates – most specifically Aaron. That would be interesting.
“I mean, isn’t this a bit soon? Shouldn’t we go on a date first, or something?” he asked nervously. It was amazing how the conversation had turned around so quickly, and I was now the one in charge. Then I realized why Ethan was so nervous.
“You’ve never kissed anyone before, have you?” I asked him. His cheeks flushed and he averted his gaze. That was a yes, and a refreshing one, too. With Aaron, he’d been the experienced one, always teasing me because I didn’t ‘do it right’ or whatever.
“Most people don’t find red hair, glasses, and Shakespeare attractive,” he offered. I took my left hand off his waist and lifted it up. This time, he let me curl my hand into the hair at the nape of his neck, and gently, I pulled his face down towards me. His eyes closed and I couldn’t help smiling at that. I brushed my lips against his for the briefest of kisses. I doubt it lasted more than a second or two, but it was nice. We parted and Ethan looked at me, a smile forming on his lips.
“That was…” he paused, looking for the word. I almost laughed at the idea of Ethan, the English enthusiast, being unable to find the right words.
“Oh, it gets better,” I told him, and with that, I tugged him closer, kissing him harder, slipping my tongue into his open mouth. I moved my hands from his hips and his hair and focused on trying to unbutton his shirt. He broke away to look at me. His face was flushed, his lips were swollen and he looked adorable.
“What are you doing?” he asked me, looking down at my hands, which were still working the buttons on his shirt. He put his hands over mine.
“What?” I asked, trying my best to look innocent.
“I don’t think we should be doing this right now,” he told me. I took my hands off his shirt reluctantly.
“Fine,” I replied, “but we can keep kissing, right?” I asked hopefully. Ethan nodded, smiling shyly.
“I’d like that,” he said. That was all the word that I needed as I tugged him onto the bed and kissed him again. I pulled him on top of me, finding myself quite comfortable underneath his weight, though he seemed to be resting most of it on his arms as he kissed me back. For a newbie, he was getting pretty good, and… I bucked up. Where did he learn that tongue sucking thing? I certainly didn’t teach him that – but I wasn’t about to complain. I put my hands around Ethan’s neck and let him take charge, which he seemed to have no problem doing. He stopped kissing me and looked at me before ducking his head down and he started kissing my neck. I let him do that for a minute or two, liking the way it felt, before I pushed him away. He looked down at me.
“Two things: one, there is no way you’ve never kissed before, because you are way too good at this! And two, as much as I could lie here and do this forever… I’m kind of hungry, so do you think we could get something to eat?” I asked him. He sighed and climbed off me, offering a hand to help me up.
“I suppose we could find you something to eat,” he said. I noticed that he didn’t let go of my hand. I didn’t mind – his hands were warm and big and they covered mine. We walked down the stairs, still holding hands, and he brought me into the kitchen where his dad and Shane were sitting at the table (his dad had managed to find a shirt and put it on) playing cards and talking. They looked over at us – more specifically, at our hands (or Ethan’s hand, since mine was pretty much covered by his) and then up at us, where Ethan’s hair was disheveled and there might have been marks on my neck from where he was kissing me, but I really didn’t care.
“Dad, Shane, this is Dante, my boyfriend,” he said, and I was blushing. This was unreal – but so perfect. I leaned into him and decided that things were going to turn out all right for us. I got lucky.
The End