FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
Die for Love
By: ShimoAneue
For: Void Delirium
My mom and dad don’t give a fuck about me. My older brother hates me, my older sister couldn’t give three shits about my existence and there is no one else worth while in the family. I’m sixteen going on seventeen and on the verge of flunking out of high school and for someone who always tries to wear bright colors, I’m pretty depressed most of the time.
Don’t believe me? Well, just look at my arms. Crooked slashes up and down and done in strange shapes. I could never go so far as to finish what I started and that’s why each suicide attempt went half assed and I ended up in the hospital… one of my druggie parents screaming at the top of their lungs at me for wasting the money they worked so hard for in medical treatment as well as mental.
“You know you use it for your acid and her Quartz!” I screamed as loudly as I could back at them. My mother slapped me, and my father pulled a blade on my neck right there in the hospital. I was never so afraid in my life and thank god for the heart monitor. If my heart rate didn’t increase, who knows what that fucking bastard could have done to me?
I was then set up to move into an apartment house on my own since I was close to the age consent. I continued to go to school, since it was one block away from my apartment, and weekly checks came in to help with rent and necessities until I was old enough to get and hold a job. But who would want to hire a self-mutilator?
I had started to cut myself again when my grades slipped for the umpteenth time in a month. I had lost yet another job and there was almost nothing in my apartment. It was cold, since it was the middle of the winter, and the checks had stopped coming. Gambling became my source of income. I was always lucky at that and so the rent came from gambling money. As for food, whatever. I ate at school; breakfast and lunch and I don’t eat dinner.
Blaring sirens and lingering darkness were all that make up my life. Sirens from ambulances and clocks next to my bed. I spend more time at home and in the hospital than I do at school. How I made it to Junior year is beyond me.
It gets lonely. You have no idea. I’m that dark plume in a world of sunshine, the person who doesn’t matter. After an extended period of time you learn to live with it, flow with it and accept it. I’ve accepted it, and you could run a maze on my arms because of it.
I was walking down the street late at night once on my way to the apartment. It was cold and nippy, windy, and very icy. I was running on three hours of sleep and lack of nutrition. I was in a rush to get back to the apartment that I wanted to take a shortcut. Of course, I took a wrong turn and wound up down Black Alley. It was the number one hot spot for druggies and dealers.
So I’m walking down the alley, druggies all over the god damned place, and I was beginning to regret walking this way. I went to turn around when I finally chickened out only to run into a dealer.
I yelped in surprise and hoped back a few steps. I might be depressed but that didn’t mean I was stupid and got myself mixed with drugs. Hell no… I’ll stick to the razor blade and leave that shit to my good-for-nothing parents.
But the dealer in front of me was very intimidating. Fire truck red hair, black lips, really red eyes; he looked like the devil. I actually got scared to the point of backing up against the wall.
Way to go Nadya, I scolded myself. You've just been totally screwed.
“Well, ain’t ya a pretty beetch. Watcha doin’ dow ‘ere so late at nigh’?”
I tried to get away, but he was a lot smarter than what I thought. He grabbed me by my arm and threw me up against a wall. With both of his hands on both sides of my head and his legs spread in a way as to block any escape, I guess I was fucked. And to think, I might end up being fucked in the middle of a dirty alley by a druggy dealer. If I never had a reason to slash myself, this was a pretty damn good one because I did not want to do it in an alley with a stoned ass.
I tried fighting him off, but it was futile. Hell, I was tired, hungry and miserable. You think you’d have enough energy to fend of this bastard? Even if he was stoned on something, he was still stronger than I was. Yeah… I was really fucked.
I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable. I might as well just kill myself this time if he doesn’t do it for me. I don’t think I’d be able to stand it if I continued after this. That’s why I always brought my razor with me in my back pocket. And god knows I didn't even think about using it as a self defense weapon.
His weight was on me now, pressing me full into the wall. I sucked in my breath as I waited for it, that groping hand. But it never came. What did come was the sound of the dealer grunting as he was pulled away from me. His weight left and I exhaled and I opened my eyes wide at the sound of the dealer’s horrified cry.
I watched him fall to the ground in front of a black figure and then my eyes landed on the figure. Tall and lean, wearing all black; tight fitting black jeans with a silver chain hanging down from his left side, long sleeved black dress shirt with the top three buttons undone and pale-ish skin. I didn’t get a good look at his face, but I did see his eyes. Endless pools of crystal black that shined in the darkness. That’s the best way I could describe them.
I slumped against the wall, being as tired as I was, and that little encounter almost drained me of whatever energy I had left. I blinked and the guy was right in front of me. That jump started my adrenalin system and I took off at a run out of the alley and the rest of the way to the apartment.
I ran inside, slammed the door, locked it and fell against it and slid to the floor. I was breathing so hard I could hear my heart beat in my ears. My head was pounding and my legs hurt and I felt weak and violated. I was so drained that I just fell asleep on the soft rug right there.
--
I woke up to the sound of my alarm. It was Monday and I had to get up and go to school. I felt fatigued and faint, and I was barely able to stand up. Sleeping on the floor was not the best thing. I left my alarm to blare as I made my way to the bathroom. The alarm would turn off soon anyway by itself.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Everything seemed strange, and what’s the strangest thing is that I was in my pajamas. I don’t remember changing when I got back. Another strange thing is that I still had a drawn mark on my hand from this club I went to about a week ago. I didn’t have it when I was walking home.
It had to have been a dream. I left it at that. There’s no possible explanation for how I got into my pajamas. But I pushed it aside and took a shower and got dressed for school. I grabbed what little homework I did and threw it in my bag and grabbed my keys from the bowl I leave next to the door. Locking the door behind me, I headed down the three flights of stairs into the semi-darkness of the early morning.
The walk to school was as simple as it’s always been. I see the normal walking students as I get closer to the building I was soon to flunk out of. I name people as I pass by them, knowing who each one of them was and knowing that they will never know who I am. I’m invisible anyway so it doesn't matter.
I walk up to the doors and walk through the hallways down to the cafeteria for the free scrawny breakfast they serve. I took what I could carry and made my way to the table that I sit alone at all the time. It was the dead table so no one ever sits at it except me.
I ate quickly and went to my locker and got my things and went to homeroom. I sat in the back as always and waited for roll call. The teacher didn’t call my name, but I saw him mark me present from where I was. It was common for all my teachers to do that. I wasn’t completely invisible, but I was present for class.
When the bell rang signaling the start of the school day, I stayed where I was, knowing well that I had English first period and this was my English room. I put my head down on my desk and closed my eyes. I was flunking the class and I didn’t care. I could read very well thank you very much so I really didn’t need this class. I did the homework and Mr. Dunny, the English teacher, left me alone. When the late bell rang, the last of the students ran into the room and took their seats.
I kept my eyes closed the whole time and my head on my desk. He was going to start talking any minute now about the upcoming exams. I really could not give a shit. I just wanted to sleep. Then I heard a knock at the door. Mr. Dunny walked over to it and opened it and whoever was there walked into the room with the sound of several clanking chains.
New student no doubt, and hearing some of the girls catch their breaths around me told me that he was probably a looker. I wasn’t gonna look since I really didn’t care; and he wouldn’t see me anyways. I’m invisible.
“Okay, listen up you group of pathetic delinquents,” Mr. Dunny’s sullen voice said. “This is a new student here for the next week while his family is in town doing business. His name is Crevan O’Bryan.”
I could just hear the girls dying around me, and the guys I knew were ready to smack the holy crap out of the man for stealing their girls. Not like I cared.
“You can go sit next to Nadya.”
He said my name? Mr. Dunny said my name? For this I had to pick my head up. No one ever said my name. No one ever had to get my attention. Of course when I did, I froze solid in my seat, mouth agape and eyes wide with disbelief. The guy walking down the aisle towards me was none other than the same guy from the night before!
No no no! It was a dream! How could someone in a dream be real!? It didn’t make sense. I rubbed my eyes and looked at him again. It was him alright.
It was same guy. He wore the same clothes from the dream; tight black jeans with the silver chains, black silk dress shirt with the top three buttons undone, leather and studded chocker around his neck, short and spiky blue hair and those shining black eyes.
But since it was brighter here I was able to see him a lot clearer. His skin was ghostly pale and his face was flawless. High cheekbones, angular features, and a lot of piercings. He had several in his right ear, maybe five, and about six in his other ear including an industrial. There was also a small silver ring in the middle of his bottom black lip. And he wore a lot of black eyeliner.
Oh my fucking god he was gorgeous! But it totally freaked me out to think he came from a dream. Unless it really happened…
Impossible. How the hell did I get into my pajamas? I didn’t wear them when I went out and it’s too cold to wear only pajamas. I’m not that stupid.
The light tap on my nose brought me from my panic mode and I looked up at him with confusion in my eyes. He looked really kind, really caring, and I suddenly felt relaxed and at ease. I felt like I had a purpose again; and here I am talking like a fucking idiot.
He sat down behind me without a word and I tried my best not to turn around to look at him. But I was failing miserably. I really wanted to look at him and touch him to see if this was still a dream or not. I’ve had dreams within dreams before and this really wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out to be one of them.
The class went by way too slow for me. I could feel him staring into my back and it took a lot of will power to keep myself from turning sround and slapping the crap out of him. When the bell rang I gathered my things and turned around... and I turned around to an empty chair.
Crevan was nowhere in the room. I got a really bad feeling at the moment and all I really wanted to do was submerge myself in a bathtub of freezing cold water. I did not like the feeling I got right then. I got up from my chair and looked around. The place was already empty and the lights were off.
“What the…?”
I moved over to the window to pull up the blinds. When I did, I noticed that instead of sunlight, moonlight danced into the room. It was already night! Now I was seriously freaked out. This had to be another dream. I was still in school sleeping on my desk. That had to be it.
I turned around to head out of the door to find it closed and a figure half shielded by shadows leaning against it. The figure had his arms crossed over his chest and one leg crossed over the other. The moonlight glittered off of the chain at his waist and sent little glares onto the walls and ceiling.
“You’re going to die.”
He said it way too casually. I really didn’t like that.
“In three days, you’re going to die. You'll be killed by an idiot trying to scare another student."
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked. He stood and walked towards me. He looked so beautiful when the moonlight hit him that it took my breath away. That was Crevan from school and he was the one in the alley. I couldn’t help but think how sexy he looked right then.
We were mere inches apart now, and I didn’t realize that I was leaning forward to get close to his heated body. It felt so nice and I wanted more of it. I closed my eyes and allowed my body to lean flush against his. He didn’t do anything to stop me. In fact, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.
I took a deep breath and made sure his scent filled my nostrils. It was that musk of a man but had that sexual feel to it. Like he was telling me something I wasn’t so sure about even though I knew exactly what it was.
“Who are you?” I whispered.
“No one of human importance,” he said. “I’m someone people don’t believe in. One they don’t expect to see for another year but some see me too soon.”
“Why are you in my dreams?”
He was silent for a moment, like he wasn’t expecting me to ask him that.
“This isn’t a dream,” he said. “I made time go by. The day is over and everyone is at home. I’m here because I’ve been sent to prepare your soul for what's about to happen.”
That freaked me out. I did not like what he was saying and I really needed to get away from him. I tried looking for a way out of the situation and only one thing came to mind. I chose the direction I wanted to go in quickly and brought my knee up into his privates.
That got him good in the gonads and that gave me a good amount of time to get away. I ran down the hall and took a sharp left. I ran down until I reached the stairs and slid down the railings. I slipped twice but managed to get down to the basement. There are plenty of places to hide there until he was gone.
I took refuge in the laundry room. Since there are a lot of sports in the school, a lot of students leave their uniforms here to be washed and I figured that this would be a good place to hide. I closed the barred door and walked backwards until I hit a wall. I slid down the wall to the floor and squeezed myself in a corner next to a washing machine in the shadows. I had to be safe.
I relaxed as time past by, and I started thinking rationally so I could figure out a way to get out of the school. I knew where I was in the school, and I knew that there were very few windows down there and none of them were big enough for me to get out. The only window closest to me that is easily opened is on the first floor in the art room. Except that crazy goth guy was probably going out of his mind with anger after what I did so now he probably wants to kill me. It would make sense since he said I was going to die anyway.
Damn it! Why didn’t I save myself this shit and died all the other times? WHY?
When I heard footsteps I froze again. It had to be him. He just doesn’t give up, and of course I started feeling guilty for kneeing him since he did save me from that dealer, whether he was real or imagined. But still! I pushed myself against the wall as much as I can to hide every inch of my body. I did not want him to see me.
When the footsteps stopped, I relaxed again. I leaned my head against the wall and exhaled the breath I was holding. I got up when I thought it was safe and cautiously made my way to the barred door to see if he was gone. I looked down both ends of the halls to find nothing. I stepped back once to open the door and my back rammed into something hard.
Instantly arms came around me from behind. One arm went across my waist to hold me and I was brought right up against Crevan’s body and he leaned his head down to my ear.
“I can't stay mad at you,” he whispered. “I half expected something like that after what I had just told you.”
I started to panic again. I tried to get away but his other hand when to my hip and he squeezed the sensitive skin there. All of my attempts to get away were quelled with just that one motion and I relaxed into his touch. His hand then got explorative and moved down to my thigh and back up to run over my stomach. Then it went under my shirt for skin-on-skin contact.
I let out a half cry, half moan with the feeling of his warm skin against my own. I closed my eyes and threw my head to the left against his body. My neck was then exposed to him and he didn’t hesitate to latch his mouth to it. I could feel the cold metal from his piercing against my heated flesh, and it made me shiver with want.
But this was so totally wrong. I liked it, but as always, everything you’re really meant to enjoy is not right. And this was not right. I wanted to stop, but then I didn’t. It was pissing me off. And besides, why the hell was he molesting me when he said I was going to die? I was getting confused.
“St-stop,” I managed to get out. “P-p-please…”
Whatever I saidor did, he understood because he did stop. His arms gently slipped from around me and I turned to face him. His top half was covered in shadows and I didn’t stick around for anything. I backed up and opened the door and walked out into the hallway. He was there slightly down the hall and I got freaked out by that alone and I knew this had to be a dream.
“Leave me alone,” I said getting bold. He said nothing, but he sighed. He sounded defeated and that hurt me for some odd reason.
“I’ll take you home,” he said finally. “But none of this changes the fact that you’re going to die in three days. And whether you like it or not, I’ve been sent to prepare you for it.”
I didn’t want to listen to him. He said I was going to die. Whatever. The sooner the better. I actually wanted nothing to do with life anyway. I just wanted to go home.
“How will I die exactly?” I asked. “Surely you should know since you’re telling me when.”
"I told you already," he said gently. "An idiot's going to kill you."
“Will it hurt?” I asked quietly after a moment of silence.
“It’ll happen so fast you won’t ever see it coming.”
And then my alarm went off. I sat bolt upright in my bed, wearing my pajamas. I turned off my alarm and looked around my room. I didn’t know what reality was anymore. I looked down at my hands, tracing the scars on my arms with my eyes. I thought about what Crevan said; about my dying in a few days. Nothing seemed to change.
I got up from bed and slowly made my way to my bathroom. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed and headed out of the apartment. I went down the stairs and out the door into the damp chilled air of the early morning. With the fact that I was going to die lingering in my mind nothing seemed different or more important to me.
Nothing at all.
I made it to school and nothing there seemed different either. Walking down the hall to the cafeteria, I got my crappy breakfast and sat down at my Dead Table. I started eating when I noticed someone was walking over to me. I didn’t look up; didn’t feel the need to. When I did, the familiar face of the school nerd was looking at me.
This was David Kennedy. He was about my height, a little on the pudgy side but not fat. He was a pure white person, my skin slightly tanned compared to his. He had brown eyes that were hidden behind thick rimmed glasses and he wore anything to blend in. But he was the most brilliant student in the school.
I knew him just slightly. We even talked to each other a few times over the course of three months. And he’s the quietest person in the school, which makes me the loud mouth. But that made him the center of attention when it comes to the school bullies. I have my share of bitches, but they don’t constantly beat up on me like the Jocks do to him. I pity him sometimes.
“Mind if I sit here?” he asked nervously. “My first time in breakfast and every where else is full.”
I nodded and continued with my now mushy cereal. I’d much rather have Tim Hortons, but you need money for that. I don't have that kind of luck.
“You always sit alone?” I heard David ask. He was trying to converse with me, I knew it. It would make sense, since he had no one else… just like me. To think we’d probably be perfect for each other save for the fact that I’m not the kind to go for nerds. I don’t even have a kind anymore. Why would I? I’m gonna die in a few days.
“Yeah,” I said. Might as well humor him. This might be the last conversation I have before I kick the can. “Make yourself at home. I won’t be here in three days so I might as well turn it over to you.”
He looked at me strangely and I just shrugged with a half-hearted smile. I finished eating and cleaned up. As soon as the bell rang, I made my way up to my locker to grab my things and made my way to homeroom again. I sat down at my desk, placed my head on the surface and closed my eyes as usual.
When the late bell rang and the rest of the homeroom made it, I felt that familiar presence and I lifted my head to see Crevan’s stunning blue eyes again. I furrowed my brows and frowned at him.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I said to him. “I know what you’re gonna say so save it for when I actually die.”
After that, I slammed my head back on the desk and tried to go to sleep. There was a slight throbbing in the place where I banged my head, but I paid no mind to it. I just wanted Crevan to go away. I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I would never have to see his face again. I would SO love that. Dumb mother fucking molester with the hottest looking body and that awesome lip piercing.
The bell rang and the classes began. I handed in the English that I had no idea I did and went back to sleep. The bell rang for switching of classes and I made my way to US History. On my way up the stairs and down the hall to the room, I came up against a hall block. Seemed that a few Jocks found someone to pick on again; and the poor soul was David.
“Throw it over here Jason!” one Jock said to another. I saw a book fly in the air and one of the black headed Jocks grabbed it and threw it back over David’s head. David did all he could to get the book back. He ran from one Jock to the other to see if he could at least hit it out of the intended path, but with no such luck.
The Head Jock, as I put it, tore it up when David made his way over to Jason. He slipped to the ground and gathered up the pieces of paper as the rest of the students dissipated with their laughter. I stood where I was and watched poor David gather up his belongings… or what was left of them all.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore and I knelt down beside him and helped to gather his shredded things. I could feel him stop and stare at me as I kept going until everything was in a nice neat pile in front of me. I looked at him and our eyes connected for a moment.
Since I was able to look at him now longer, I see he was actually quite cute. Not at all majorly attractive like Jason or some of the other Jocks, but definitely good looking if in a pretty nerd type of way.
He needed a friend, I realized, and I couldn’t really care if I became his friend or not. But then something came to mind.
“Silent friends?” I said holding out my hand to him. He looked down to my hand, and I knew his eyes were on my slash scars. I didn’t care. He smiled gently and took my hand in a hand shake.
“Silent friends,” he said while helping me up. We shared one last smile before we headed separate ways to different classes.
I made it through the entire day until last period which was a study hall. David was in that room with me, all the way on the other side of the classroom working on something or other. I was by the window, watching the cars go by on the wet roads down below. And Crevan was sitting behind me, staring into the back of my head.
“Go ahead,” I said. “I know you wanna either push time forward so you can molest me again or tell me that in less than three days I’ll be dead. Go ahead, I know you wanna.”
“You’re right,” he said easily. “I do want to do that..."
"There's a 'but' in there," I said. I turned to him.
Crevan looked at me for a few seconds and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and exhaled as he shifted a little in his chair to come closer to me.
“I had to do this for the first time a while ago,” he said. “I highly think you know I’m not human by now, so I’ll be honest. I’m an angel sent down here to receive your soul when you die. My Lord said I was in charge of you and I had the responsibility to tell you when and where you die so you'd be prepared fo it."
"Exactly how do I die?" I pressed.
"I can't tell you the exact details. Time needs to play out on it's own..."
"Liar," I said.
"... and if I told you, you would try and avoid it or change it. I can't have that happen."
“How do you know I won’t?” I debated.
“You’re still human and it’s human nature to survive,” he said logically. “Whether you want to die or not, you’ll still try to avoid it. Otherwise, you would’ve died the first time you slashed yourself.”
He didn’t say anything else other than that since the bell rang signaling the end of the day. The class filed out and I blinked once. Crevan was gone and I was left alone. I got up and made my way to my locker and grabbed my stuff. I never realized this, but David was only three lockers down from me on the left. I sent him a gentle smile when he saw me looking and I think he winked at me.
I turned away, slightly confused about why my face felt so hot. I did all I could to keep from smiling but I knew I was failing. DAMN!
I closed my locker and David was there with his backpack slung over his shoulder. He was leaning against the locker like a regular person, like he was never bullied before. And he actually looked attractive.
“Want me to walk you home?” he asked. “Unless your parents don’t like you bringing strays home.”
“I have no parents,” I said tossing my bag over my shoulder. “My mom’s in jail for possession and my dad’s gone away forever for threatening to kill me in a public hospital.”
“You’re blunt.”
“I know.”
“So, is that a yes?”
I looked at him. This was the most we ever talked at once with anyone. I grinned friendly at him and nodded.
"I guess so," I said.
We waked side by side down the cold wet street. After stopping at a pizzeria for some sodas he followed me the rest of the way to my apartment. And I mean the rest of way. He came right up to my door with me, up the three flights of stairs and around the two corners right to my door.
I stood with my keys in my hand and my shoulder against the door. We didn’t say anything for a few minutes, both unsure of what to say really. But when he did say something, it sort of jump started my mind.
“You’re not invisible,” he said.
“What?” I asked. He smiled, showing really white teeth. He was going through a complete transformation from an anti-social nerd to a really attractive guy. I did a quick look around for Crevan to make sure he wasn’t behind this, but he was nowhere.
“I said you’re not invisible. You might be to others, but never to me. I saw you freshman year and… well, erm…”
He instantly became flustered about what he was going to say, and I tried to urge him on with a friendly smile, but I got nothing. He banged his head against my door and I tried to surpress a laugh, but I lost and laughed out loud.
I never laughed so hard before, and it was a good feeling. Something I never really had the luxury to try. With my fucked up life, there was nothing around to make me even smile except the razor in my pocket.
David looked about ready to throw up, so I decided to try something and I took his glasses off and put them on. I pulled a funny face and he instantly brightened up. He has a nice laugh. I took the glasses off and I waited for my vision to return to normal. I looked at him and my breath caught.
His eyes were gorgeous. Sparkling, bright, and oh so blue! They out did Crevan’s almost. Certainly puts them to their money. And my heart had never beat faster as it did when I realized he was coming closer to me. My body started shaking like crazy when he was nothing but and inch away, and I turned my head down in a futile attempt to hide my blush. But all he did was tip my head back up with two fingers so I was forced to look at him.
And that feeling of his lips on mine was so feather soft I could feel myself melting. Talk about aesthetic and really fast. I didn’t even realize he stopped until I heard him chuckle. I opened my eyes and looked at him.
“That good huh?” he asked. All I could was nod. He smiled and kissed me again with a little more force. I liked this one better and I smiled against his lips. When we broke, I found it about time to open the damn door.
“Mind if I use your phone?” he asked. “I wanna call my aunt and tell her I’m not coming home tonight.”
My heart jumped into my throat when I heard him say that. I turned to him and I saw that look he was giving me. And oh my god…
“You’re alone,” he said. “And my aunt always wanted me to find a nice girl.”
I let him use the phone. He called his aunt and told her the exact truth. And from the smile on his face, she was okay with it. And then the blush he got made me think about what his aunt was saying. And I wondered if we really would end up doing that. I didn't know if I wanted to or not.
To preoccupy my mind from those thoughts, I straightened up the living room of all my crap and set up the futon bed for David’s use. I set out blankets and pillows and started cleaning the kitchen a little though I barely used the place.
I popped whatever little food I had into the microwave for some kind of scrawny dinner. And I told David everything about why I was living alone at my age in an apartment like this. And I also had to tell him about the lack of food.
I told him he could have whatever there was of the food since I don’t normally eat dinner. I insisted he do so and I made my way to the bathroom. When I opened it, the most disgusting sight met my eyes.
All of my razors were out and about with dried blood on the blades. The white sink was stained red from my previous attempts at suicide and I never took the time to clean it. I'd used this very room this very morning and I never even realized it was in this condition.
I couldn’t help but think back to what Crevan said earlier that day. I’m still human, and as long as I’m human I’ll always want to survive. And seeing this sight in my own bathroom made me cry for everything disastrous I tried to do to myself.
A pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders from behind and I turned to clutch on to David. I cried on his shoulder… well, more liked sobbed… and I continuously apologized about him having to see that.
He only stroked my hair and guided me out of the room and closed the door. I calmed down quite a bit and I was able to be my quite self again. And he took that time to kiss me again, only this time taking it further than just a kiss and added passion and something I never expected to find in this life. Love.
We shared the futon that night, along with touches and gentle words of reassurance for nothing in particular. I thought that this was all a dream when I awoke in the middle of the night. But the feeling of skin on skin made me look behind me to see David’s calm and relaxed face on the pillow next to mine, his bare arm around my waist under the covers and his smooth chest against my back.
He really looked like an angel right then and I thought about how I was acting. There had to be some reason why I wanted him so much. Maybe I want to continue after all. Maybe David was there for me to realize that life is actually important.
I laughed at myself. I’ve known him for about a total of fourteen hours and already I slept with him. But I felt complete. I felt wanted. A luxury I never had growing up, and this is a feeling I never wanted to forget.
I snuggled next to his warm body and was about ready to slip back to sleep when I saw Crevan leaning against the window. I didn’t move when I saw him, that chain of his and his lip piercing glittering from the orange streetlight.
“Less than a day,” he said. “It happens tomorrow. Prepared?”
“I’ll never really be prepared to die,” I said. “After all, I’m only human.” We were silent for a moment, only staring at each other. And then he turned around and looked back at me breifly.
“I’ll see you at school.”
--
The alarm went off and I awoke to mumbled sounds. I turned around and wrapped my arm across David’s chest. He opened his eyes and looked down at me and I looked into his eyes and never felt so good to have something to hold.
“School?” I asked.
“School.”
I got up and headed into the bathroom, not looking at the scene and went into the shower. David came in and joined me, washed my back as I did his. We then got dressed and headed out towards another day of boredom for me, and maybe bully torture for him.
We got there and walked into the building for breakfast. We got our food and sat down at the same table as always. We actually talked this time, and not just about last night, but about something more serious. He was going to talk with his aunt about possibly taking me in. As long as I paid rent, I could live there as long as I wanted.
The feeling I got was so overwhelming I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. And then as soon as it came, it vanished when I saw Crevan. But he was different this time. He walked through the crowd and no one paid attention to him. He was also wearing a black robe, and he had large blackish-bluish angel wings. His hair was still blue, and he still looked like he did when he came to me the first time.
I got scared. And I was sure the color drained from my face. David didn’t notice, mostly because he was frozen. Everything around me stopped moving except Crevan. I stood up and faced him though.
“Angel of Death,” I said fearfully. “What be your will?”
Whatever made me say that I may never know, but it felt like something I should have done.
“Die for your love,” he said. “And follow into the darkness.”
The world changed in a blur and the cafeteria started up again, only this time it was lunch. And there was something going on outside in the courtyard. Another circle of students with the two Jocks again, Jason and his assistant. And David was there being picked on.
I turned angrily to Crevan and growled.
"You said you weren't going to manipulate time!" I screamed. He did nothing and only watched the scene outside. I turned to look at it as well and this boiling feeling I had was driving me crazy.
I was fed up with this. I stormed outside into the bitter cold and snow covered ground and pushed my way through the crowd. When I got to the side, I saw that David was petrified. I followed his frightened stare to Jason’s hand to see a gun. One of those that police officers have. And it dawned on me; Jason’s father was an ex-police officer.
‘Die for your love.’
“Why are you so afraid, Kennedy?” Jason taunted. “It’s all filled with blanks! I’ll show ya!”
I acted before I could think. Just as Jason pulled the trigger, I jumped to David’s side and pushed him out of the way.
The BOOM! from the gun was deafening, and the pain I felt was unbelievable. The students all jumped away from the center as David crawled over to me, pulling me into his lap. My eyes were blurry, and it was hard to breathe. I clutched onto whatever was there, and thankfully it was David. He took my hand in his and held me close. I could hear a bunch of students screaming and some teachers trying to get Jason to the ground.
"You fucking idiot!" Jason screamed to the other Jock. "You said those were blanks!"
But all I could focus on was the pain. I lost the ability to breathe and I could barely keep my eyes open. And I felt something on my cheek. It was warm and wet.
Tears… David’s tears. He was crying for me. He was crying for an invisible person who tried to die several times and failed, but didn't fail this time. But of course, now I didn't want to die.
“Why’d you do that?” he asked me. "Damn it Nadya, why?" I smiled weakly.
“I…g-guess…b-be-cause I… l-love…y-you… you helped me t-to live brie-fly for th-the fir-sst t-time i-in y-years… th-thank…y-you… D-da-vid..”
I closed my eyes after that and reopened them to see myself in David’s arms. Crevan was beside me, his wings outstretched and his hand holding mine like a child’s.
“I died for love,” I said in realization. “Is this how it was meant to turn out?”
“Yes," he said. "It wasn't his time to die, but it was yours. So, you took his fate and switched it with yours. Now he'll live on and you..."
He trailed off and turned his head to look down on me. He was emotionless and all I could do was look at the scene when the paramedics hauled my body away and the police arrested the two Jocks.
That small circle will forever be tainted with blood I allowed to spill for the one person I never expected to fall in love with, and then leave so soon. Crevan took me to Heaven despite all the sins I committed against myself. I was compensated for saving his life, so to speak.
I watched over him as a Guardian Angel. But he ended up dying several months later in a car accident. Crevan went to get his soul as well, and we were reunited. We spent the rest of time together, slienly looking out for people who were just like us.
After all, I died because I was looking out for the survival of someone I cared for. I was only human. But we're together now, and that's all that matters.
x--Happy-Birthday--x
Well, I knocked this off in about a day. Started 1-20-07 at 11:30 am, finished 1-21-07 at 12:30 am. and edited on 2-8-07 at 12:02 am. This was made for Void Delirium for her Sweet 16th birthday. I hope I got the cute Gothy boy okay for ya. This went in a complete 180 degree turn about half way through and I just went with the idea I came up with. I didn't have David in my main idea... so this was weird for me. Gya... but I hope you liked it VD!
--ShimoAneue