Sometimes you need someone to talk to. Everybody does… at some point. Sometimes you need someone, anyone just to put your feet back on the ground when things go haywire, but there are people in this world who don’t have that, people who don’t have that someone. I have not one of those people… I have people to talk to, and I have people to lie to me… and tell me the world is ok. But I don’t want that. I am not ungrateful, I appreciate having people around… the fact is however, I just don’t like people.

This does not mean I am a bad person, and it doesn’t mean I hate you. I am not singling anyone out individually; it is just my view that the human race as a whole is flawed. Everybody is so concerned about everyone else’s business that they don’t take care of themselves. Think about it… if everyone just looked out for themselves, there would be no wars, just differences of opinions between individuals. I hate that everyone has the power to make people they love cry, so all logic says if you don’t care about people… they can’t hurt you. I am not inhuman, and I do have feelings… I do care about people… just not in the way you do. I was born different, and have always known I was different, I know now that I am older exactly what makes me different.

Looking past all the odd idiosyncrasies I possess, looking past my slightly cynical worldview... I was born with what some class as a disability; some class it as a curse. I myself see it as a gift. I can shut myself off from everything from people, from feelings, from the world. If something hurts me… it’s simply not there anymore. I don’t mean it literally vanishes, it’s not that simple, I mean it’s no longer something I deem worthy to acknowledge. If everyone just did that, sure about a quarter of the world wouldn’t talk to each other… but nobody would get hurt anymore. I am officially sick of living in a society that complains when they get hurt when they have only themselves to blame.

I am official bored of a society that judges people on looks, and accents, and not on the mind. I’m not trying to say you’re shallow… I am saying people are shallow, like it or not. Even if you don’t think you are… you are. Even my own family have told me on more than one occasion ‘I’m not going out with you if you look like that what’ll people think….’ I agree wholeheartedly that I look terrible: I don’t brush my hair, I wear old tatty clothes, I don’t wear makeup and my acne is atrocious… but at least I’m honest. I dress the way I dress and I look the way I look because I don’t LIKE the pretend veil everyone else puts up. Sure it might look pretty… but it’s just lies. Designer clothes and make up and all that stuff… it’s just a way to make people judge you. People judge me by how I look, they think I am dirty, and bad, and probably rebellious. I know this because I have been told before… it shows what people know.

I am very clean, I wash my hands obsessively, and I won’t eat food if it’s been dropped on the carpet. I am good… I always try to do the ‘right thing’ even if other people fail to see it as right, and I am far from rebellious, I try to always do as I’m told… even if sometimes I have to question it. Based on the assumptions people make… people automatically dislike me. The assumptions are wrong… all wrong. It shows the superficiality of humankind, people are labelled so easy without even being known. If the world had no labels… there’d be more interactions between higher and lower standings of the social ladder.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this… I’m not trying to say I’m superior, or make others feel inferior I’m merely expressing my view that the world is full of screw-ups and if more people tried to survive the way I do… life wouldn’t be so hard for anyone… it would lack complications.

My life is simple.
It’s the people in it who are complicated.